Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Exploring resistence
lighter:
Yes....So glad I'm not silently listening to his monologues with him assuring me he's someone he's absolutely not.
There have been two fishing texts I've ignored. Six weeks of absolute zero contact should be the end of it. Unless of course contact with mutual friend drags it out. Hopefully not.
I'm not sure if the friend likes the drama or he's really concerned about safety. It's likely a bit of both, IMO.
Lighter
Hopalong:
No.
Such a powerful word.
I'm glad you said it.
And if there's even a shred of threat in him, a Cease & Desist?
Block texts so you don't even see them. Screen calls...anyway, I'm sure you know the drill.
Kudos, Lighter. You don't need it.
Hugs
Hops
lighter:
Hi Hops:
He's gone silent with me and mostly withdrawn contact with mutual friend, so...... maybe it's over.
I try to avoid being bossy boots with MF, but I feel strongly that NOW is the time for his complete shut off and say so since the guy's own withdrawal is likely less bruising/upsetting, IMO. Varun on sentence anyone?;)
Lighter
Hopalong:
Hmm. Honest thought?
Feeling that strongly about another person's choices about a relationship in their life...unless they're your minor child, is... well, is bossy boots a euphemism for controlling? (NO offense intended--I speak from my own egregious experience. Busted more than once years back, either by my own resistant realization or gentle reminders from friends. For me it was an unpleasant reckoning of anxiety-based behavior. But I'm grateful to have seen it.)
Since you've drawn your own smart boundaries with the creepy guy, and he's no longer an intrusion or emotional threat to you--isn't expanding your own boundaries to include your MF's boundary choices or decisions about the dude...out of your sphere of control?
You can always decline to cross paths if MF continues to socialize with him, ja? And you don't have to LIKE it that MF still has a bro-tolerance for him for MF's own (I know, inexplicable) reasons. It's a really common thing. But my inner Prudie (Slate.com) sez, still: Not your call.
Does this make sense or am I way off base? (So possible I am very prepared to hear it, promise!)
Hugs
Hops
lighter:
You know, HOps..... you're right.
I feeeeeeeeel my bossy boots behavior is off, but darnit.....
I'm a tad angry at MF for shoving CG down my/our throats. It's such an overt boundary transgression, on so many may levels.
I guess what this is.... is a really good lesson in boundaries and enforcing them.
::sigh::
I should have been more proactive. I should have stuck to my guns, and refused all contact, bc I knew from MF's stories what CG was about. I knew.
Maybe I'm more angry at myself than MF.
Lighter
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version