Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Exploring resistence
Hopalong:
I don't think you can maneuver him into accepting your boundaries.
Testing them over and over and over is part of his entertainment, whether he sees that about himself or not.
"Friend group" or not, I don't think you owe him any space: social, professional, personal, emotional, mental...
So I would look hard at what you get out of continuing to serve him. What is this worth to your serenity and peaceful pursuit of your work?
You are the boundary woman who gets it. Don't let some old tape interfere...
(Sorry, totally unsolicited...and maybe wrong. But moved to say it anyway...)
Hugs
Hops
lighter:
Hops:.
You're absolutely correct in your assessment IMO.
Now.....
distance, without conflict, is the mission.
It got much easier since the guy who brought him into the group finally admits there's a problem. I guess he's the one who needs to break up with him.
I have an easy out BC the pd guy committed to seeing another BIT practitioner for full integration, which I'm not able to provide.
Thanks for the advice, which is always welcome.
Lighter
lighter:
The icky situation with the guy is done. At least for me.
My friend was questioned about my abrupt withdrawal and said I was simply
"done with clinical hours... that was it."
The guy said "That's bullshit!"
Aggressive and disturbing, IMO.
My friend is withdrawing more slowly, but the guy knows "something's up."
Disordered people lie, stomp boundaries into the dirt, and wonder why things aren't going well for them over and over and over again.
Exhausting.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Glad you are out of that, Lighter. Difficult for the friend who has to try and untangle themselves. Friendships are funny, in romantic relationships it's usual for someone to announce an official break up if they don't want to see the other person anymore, but we don't tend to do that with friendships unless there's been a major incident. Life might be easier if we ended friendships more cleanly. I'm not sure why we don't?
sKePTiKal:
Well, I missed all that - being preoccupied with my own stuff - Lighter.
You did good!! IMO, anyway. I really think there's no way we can go through life without having to occasionally deal with PD people. You recognized him; tried setting boundaries; realized he wasn't capable... and walked away with very little drama.
The end.
LOL.
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