Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Exploring resistence
Hopalong:
::Imagining my house covered in pie pans, Mylar balloons and shiny silver duct tape mobiles::
Me too! :lol: I like it a lot.
So happy to hear you're enjoying the healing art (massage? what type?) you've learned, Lighter. That's wonderful.
Hops
lighter:
Hi Hops:
So the original woodpecker offender is back, bc the wind stopped and my shiny mobile isn't moving any longer.
I deployed the two shiny Mylar balloons I bought just in case, and.....
woodpecker went away, but for how long I can't be sure as the both balloons are no longer floating. I'll deal with that soon... maybe tack the balloons at the roof line so they blow over the holes.
About the healing system......... think quantum physics, opposed to scalpels/pharmaceuticals, which is how present day medicine operates.
This system was created by a woman who mapped the brain, and figured out how to access pathways to make corrections in blood and energy flow, esp regarding the two hemispheres of the brain.....
downloading new information that replaces old information in the brain..... sort of.
Her background is in neuroscience and psychology with focus on learning disabilities, old emotional patterns that are no longer serving, muscle reactivation (the body deactivates muscles when injured to prohibit further injury) and allergies among other things.
On a separate note, I took dd14 to her second appointment with a local neuro touch practitioner. I learned about neuro touch from another student attending the BIT class with me. If you google Feldenkrais
http://www.feldenkrais.com/whatis
and Anat Baniel Method
http://www.anatbanielmethod.com/ it will help explain, but..... we didn't understand it till dd was on the table.
Some of DD's joints weren't being engaged bc her brain didn't know they were there..... at the end of the first appointment dd said that her entire body felt like "water" where before the right side only felt like water, and the left side felt like "bricks." To give you a tiny example.... while standing up, dd's right toes could be lifted off the floor by the practitioner, but the toes on the left foot cold not. Same with the balls of the feet. That was basically the story all the way up to where her spine meets her skull....Where the ribs on dd's left side were frozen, they now move freely like the ribs on her right side.
DD carried the weight of her torso behind her, which put tremendous pressure on all her joints.... now she's learning to align her skeleton so that all the muscles and bones do the jobs they were designed to do..... and this means less struggle, pain and symptoms like her knee cap popping out of place which is why we sought treatment in the first place.
The main body of work is done utilizing very small movements that train the brain to engage and open pathways responsible for that work.... last night, for instance, did an exercise while on her back bending the right knee up so her foot was flat on the table, pushing out her stomach and slowly lifting her right hip a few inches while FEELING everything she was doing. The practitioner brought DD's attention to how that felt, then had her feel how doing it with her stomach pulled in felt, and how it effected strength, range of motion, and ease of movement in activities involved in that correction. It's deep, and my dd is profoundly awed by what she's learning about herself, and the positive impact it will have on here life.
More about what I'm learning and practical application....
this morning I woke up to a dream about my late mother. It was the kind of dream that would normally haunt me for one or two days, and generally send pangs of adrenaline and sadness through my body over and over again.
I took 15 minutes to do a balance on myself, which requires accessing brain pathways while recalling the troubling emotions involved, then performing a gentle hold on the forehead and occipital bone at the base of my skull.
I haven't had one moment of sadness or recall of that dream so far today. This is freedom we could all benefit from, IME.
How are you doing, Hops?
Lighter
lighter:
The woodpecker came back over Thanksgiving and pecked another nesting hole into the house. I've decided to just let him stay r since he's determined, AND protected. This way he won't peck more holes, and especially holes higher than my ladder can reach.
I finished blowing the yard yesterday, and that was good cause it rained this morning.
Youngest dd and I made toffee for teachers. They have ribbons and are ready to be delivered. Beautiful poison, if you believe sugar is poison.
I have a strange situation with a client who struggles with bi polar he's heavily medicated for, and what he describes as being an N in the past, but now he's cured. I asked if he had a dx for the N, and he said "No, but from what I've read I had it, and now I don't."
I have to say.... I've been speechless around him... a lot. More than I care to admit. His energy is BIG. Like... if Rodney Dangerfield and Trump had a baby BIG. This means he's been making statements about how I feel, as though he has any idea at all, and basing his actions, usaully trying to change my very clear NO into a YES, on them. I'm feeling fairly gobsmacked when he does that in the face of my clarifications to the contrary. In writing. I view this as disrespectful, and aggressive.... a huge red flag.
I'm paying close attention to how I've failed to enforce very clear boundaries I set in the past. It's not comfortable. It will be such a relief to state and enforce boundaries going forward sans angst. I'm working on it.
I pay attention to the way I speak and what I say in general now.
Empath might as well be written across my forehead, and golly......
maybe "take my time, kick me, and disrespect me and I'll make you feel pretty OK about it" too.
"Peacemaker", and " Has LARGE aversion to conflict" could be written on forehead as well. This is worrisome, and I notice I have an easier time handling people with smaller energy. I'm capable of speaking with authority and resolve, but things change I notice when I'm speaking to people likely to engage in conflict and esp those likely to escalate into hostile communication and actions.... it's easier to stand up for others than myself.
I think I'm having a difficult time distinguishing people who will escalate and those who won't, and it's all triggering frankly. I'm very triggered by people who have stomped my boundaries in the past, no doubt.
The only logical answer is avoidance, IME. We can't avoid all the cluster Bs all of the time. How to just handle it, and remain above it, not affected by it.....
Resistance again.
Learning to respond without hesitation and without emotion is necessary. To remain flat, not argue...... that's the key I guess. Empaths care what others think.... too much, IME. We want to help others, and that's always a problem with Bs, IME. Learning how to make medium chill second nature is difficult. It's hard to turn it off once it's on sometimes too, IME. It can be limiting in the world... make it hard to trust, and let people in. I'm just talking this through, bc I haven't really visited it top to bottom yet.
There should be psych 101 classes in middle school explaining healthy boundary setting and enforcement. My kiddos are so much wiser, better equipped, and attuned than I ever was.
Oldest dd is focusing on her relationship with me, and I'm focusing on how I relate to her. She's getting straight As, is caught up in all assignments, and motivated to do well in school/research careers and Universities. She's very busy with her music, art, and social activities. Since she's in this really good place I notice how much better I'm feeling. This time last year we were really struggling.
My course is going OK, and I have a week of case studies set up.
That's my update.
Lighter
Hopalong:
YIKERS, Lighter. I related to so much of that.
Do you feel obligated to continue to serve this potentially dangerous at worst and deeply triggering at least...client?
Were advice needed, which I doubt it is...how does a practitioner or massage or any other similar therapy (still not certain what credential you're training for) cut off relationship to a client who's inappropriate for them?
I totally get what you're saying about this person and find it very disturbing. Moreso, because in the healing/selfless/helping professions, there's such an assumption that the patient or client's wellbeing comes first always.
What do you think? Is there an exit strategy with a client like that?
He's waving a bouquet of red flags in my face.
Hugs
Hops
lighter:
Well..... I guess I've just assumed I'll serve uncomfortably while re stating boundaries he pretends to get but doesn't.
There are no good solutions. He's a new member of my closest friend group.
If he could respect a boundary that would solve the issue. He likely can't.
I wonder if it would benefit me to have the "If you step over this boundary again I'll know you don't value me as a friend and caregiver so will end the association" chat?
A social nightmare.
He's smart enough to get it. It's his ego that makes it difficult.
Lighter
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