Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Do You Manage Your Stress?
Twoapenny:
And more rambling! I decided yesterday to abandon three complaints that I have on the go at the minute. All very lengthy and involved, all regarding failings to do with my son's care, all very stressful, time consuming, expensive and, I know from previous experience all a waste of time because all that happens is they tell you eventually that you were right all along and everyone else carries on regardless.
I've always felt it important to complain because of the issue of voicelessness - who speaks for my son as he can't speak for himself? Who stands up for those who don't have anyone to fight their corner for them? And so on. But doing them is stopping me from getting on with things I want to do - working on my van, working on my book, doing up my flat, working in my garden. I don't know whether I have fear that if I don't complain things can come back to bite me (ie, I need someone else to say, yes, she's right in order to protect me) or if my greater fear is of getting on with things I want to do and enjoying myself a bit. I'm not sure which of the two it is, or if it even matters. Either way, I have abandoned them and as a result I have a weekend ahead of me that doesn't contain anything unpleasant to be getting on with, which makes a nice change.
Hopalong:
BRAVO.
(I can't know for sure, but my guess is you've pinpointed a fear of enjoying yourself.)
So happy for this,
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on June 23, 2017, 11:08:52 AM ---BRAVO.
(I can't know for sure, but my guess is you've pinpointed a fear of enjoying yourself.)
So happy for this,
Hops
--- End quote ---
Yes, Hops, that's exactly it, I've been so scared of being accused of things I haven't done again that I've just gone into ultra conservative, no fun, never relax mode for the last decade. It's so weird how suddenly something becomes so clear and it seems so obvious but it hasn't for such a long time.
I worked out today that fifteen years of no weekends and no holiday means, by current employment standards, I'm owed somewhere in the region of 1,900 days off :) I'm not lifting a finger now until 2022 :) xx
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