Things that make me happy II

[lighter]

It's time for another TTMMH thread, IMO: )

Being in the zone... doesn't matter what I'm doing.... just being there is good.

When something CLICKS.... suddenly I SEE connections, solutions and creative alternatives that eluded me before. 

Reclining after dinner with friends on the back porch after a meal.... so drowsy.  I don't like fighting the body's need to relax completely.  Some would doze off while others talked, and my porch is suited to this with it's old quilts, and wide benches.... much better for that than for enjoying meals, IMO.

A glass of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay with little pieces of perfectly ripe pear.

Baby arugula, pear, goat cheese, walnuts and a light balsamic dressing.

PIZZA night where everyone gets to make their own pizza.  My friend brought almond flour crusts he made.... SO crunchy and good. 

Clean surfaces to work on.

Snuggling a sleepy pug.

Snuggling my sleeping teens.

Getting fire pit cleaned out, and lined with a nice ash bed.... my oldest dd16yo who knows how to do it the right way, and was happy to lead on the project.

Walking in the forest out back, night or day, with my girls and pug.  My 14yo dd and I walked for an hour after dark earlier this week.  It was just as much fun as walking in the day.  We walked late at night after a very heavy snowfall earlier in the year.... the moon was so bright....we didn't need flashlights.

Working in the yard with the girls.   

[Twoapenny]

Wow all of those would make me happy, Lighter!

Getting jobs done around the flat is making me happy at the minute.  I can see in my mind how I want it to be, really cosy and comfortable with lots of interesting, memory related bits and pieces around.  Getting a step closer to that each time I do a job feels nice

The garden is exploding at the minute, beautiful colours coming up and I'm loving just watching to see how it takes shape on its own.  I don't want to change it, I'll just keep it tidy as it looks very natural and I really like that.  I will plant some flowers here and there, I'd like to plant things that attract bees and butterflies and I am hoping to grow a few veggies next year and try companion planting.  There's a small area by the front door that I'm thinking of covering with colour throughout the year so I'm spending time watching which bits get sun and which stay in shade so I can decide what to plant.  That makes me happy.

Snuggles with the cat!  She's affectionate but on her terms so it's nice to feel chosen

Son does not tolerate snuggles in any way, shape or form anymore but hearing him crack a joke or watching him fall into utterly helpless laughter makes me really happy.

Having an empty weekend in front of me feels lovely, and that makes me feel happy.  I used to dread spending a holiday alone, now I look forward to the time to relax, get some jobs done and go for some nice walks.

[lighter]

I'm trying to think what makes me happy NOW, in this moment.....
nothing.   Well.... I marinated a beautiful pork roast in Cuban spices for 3 days, and that was a lovely meal this evening, but....

I'm in a not great place... worrying..... a truck load of stuff in the garage, on counter tops.......... my sf, and mother's stuff.... stuff she didn't use, but had all around her.... just stuff.... old stuff.... and it's cramping my head space having it around. Having it cluttering my space...... and my sf's not well.... sf fell, which is why I went to see him.  He'd been piling up stuff for months..... stuff he wanted me to load up, and take.  I think he feels his children think of it all as junk, and would just pitch it, and he thinks of it as pieces of his life with my mother.... pieces of his heart really.

That's a lot of responsibility...... having pieces of lives and hearts to deal with.

::nodding::

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

I'm trying to think what makes me happy NOW, in this moment.....
nothing.   Well.... I marinated a beautiful pork roast in Cuban spices for 3 days, and that was a lovely meal this evening, but....

I'm in a not great place... worrying..... a truck load of stuff in the garage, on counter tops.......... my sf, and mother's stuff.... stuff she didn't use, but had all around her.... just stuff.... old stuff.... and it's cramping my head space having it around. Having it cluttering my space...... and my sf's not well.... sf fell, which is why I went to see him.  He'd been piling up stuff for months..... stuff he wanted me to load up, and take.  I think he feels his children think of it all as junk, and would just pitch it, and he thinks of it as pieces of his life with my mother.... pieces of his heart really.

That's a lot of responsibility...... having pieces of lives and hearts to deal with.

::nodding::

Lighter

It's amazing how we equate stuff with people and can't give away the stuff because it means ending our connection with them   I suppose when they are things that someone you love, loved, it's like rejecting them or casting what they loved aside.  How hard for you Lighter, but nice of you to take them for him so he isn't having to deal with that at the mo.  I've not really any practical advice I'm afraid, other than wondering if you have anywhere you could keep them safely but unobtrusively until you or SF are able to decide where things need to go? Sorry you're having to deal with this x

[lighter]

You hit it directly on the head, Tupp.  I did take much of the stuff so sf wouldn't have to deal with it.  So he felt it was dealt with, cared for, and cherished.... safely off his plate..... some small peace of mind restored.  I did this with an elderly neighbor many years back.... I took much of it to Goodwill.....then she moved out of her retirement home, and wanted some of it back!  Duoh!

I'll get a rush of energy, edit and cull, then purge to cleanse my mind and space. There are things I want to offer up to the cousins.... and I will.

Right now I'm in the kitchen with my 16yodd and we're cooking.... BAKING really. Waiting for yeast to proof.  bacon is cooked, and waiting to go into fluffy brunch eggs. 

Music in the background playing.... CCR..... yes.

I'm learning to let the waves roll over me, just noticing them, not becoming a part of them.... getting roiled around by them is just part of the journey, and it's OK to name them, and recover my footing.   

CCR is one of those things I really enjoy right now.   

All will be well: )

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

You hit it directly on the head, Tupp.  I did take much of the stuff so sf wouldn't have to deal with it.  So he felt it was dealt with, cared for, and cherished.... safely off his plate..... some small peace of mind restored.  I did this with an elderly neighbor many years back.... I took much of it to Goodwill.....then she moved out of her retirement home, and wanted some of it back!  Duoh!

I'll get a rush of energy, edit and cull, then purge to cleanse my mind and space. There are things I want to offer up to the cousins.... and I will.

Right now I'm in the kitchen with my 16yodd and we're cooking.... BAKING really. Waiting for yeast to proof.  bacon is cooked, and waiting to go into fluffy brunch eggs. 

Music in the background playing.... CCR..... yes.

I'm learning to let the waves roll over me, just noticing them, not becoming a part of them.... getting roiled around by them is just part of the journey, and it's OK to name them, and recover my footing.   

CCR is one of those things I really enjoy right now.   

All will be well: )

Lighter

What is it about cooking?  It does make you feel safe and looked after somehow?  Kind of restores that balance and gets things back on track.  I can smell the bacon

I'm glad you're feeling better about it.  Sometimes I think it's the amount of work and the responsibility that you're holding for someone else that can be overwhelming - what to keep, what to give away - what if they want it back, as your neighbour did.  Enjoy the day with your kiddies, Lighter xx

[Hopalong]

Happy Easter or Spring or Horny Hares or Whatever Day You Find Glorious, all--

Hey Lighter, I'll play a little debbil's advocate, fwiw. Here's how I might think through it:

--It's stuff. Even though SF invests all the objects with sentiment, they are still only objects.
--If SF is well enough to one day travel to visit his stuff chez you, then some physical storage may be needed.
--If that is highly unlikely because of his age/debility, the question is: who has legal custody of his stuff?
--If it's you AND you haven't promised him that no shred of stuff will be discarded--then you can edit, donate, and discard. All in an attitude of respect for his reality + respect for your own values (and stress).
--If you DID specifically promise him no shred of stuff would be discarded, then you may have made a mistake, and will have to work through with whatever support you need, how you might honor his wishes.

In my view, donating is not discarding.

If there are things valuable enough to sell, well then...a yard sale! And all the proceeds can go to plant a lovely small tree somewhere, in his and your mother's memory. But as a donation to some charitable cause. Or if they loved dogs, a donation to the local shelter in their honor. Etc.

There's always a loving solution. The only one that's not loving is to require yourself to resolve this perfectly, eh?

Hugs
Hops

[lighter]

I didn't specifically promise SF anything, Hops.  Thanks for reminding me I don't have to do this perfectly, for surely I won't.

Tupp,,,,, stuff is tricky.  Esp the emotionally charged stuff.  In a hundred years, what will it matter?  It won't. 

::huge sigh::

Now, to make peace and clear space.

Lighter

[lighter]

Well, Step Father gave me his copy of THE NEW BASICS COOKBOOK in one box of stuff... I adore that book, and can't find the copy he game me.  I've been searching for a particular recipe, and found it today....
Pork Chops and Scalloped Potato Casserole....
SO. 
Good.

I'll making it for Teacher Appreciation brunch and dinner with friends this week.  There's heavy cream, garlic, onions, whole grain and Dijon mustards turned into a reduced cream sauce poured over the pork chops and thinly sliced potatoes...... the word alchemy comes to mind..... not what you'd think.  Thyme.... hmm... I thought there was Gruyere, but nope.   There will be two non breakfast items, and mine's one of them.  This one's a lot of work, but definitely a show stopper.

I used to make a potato dish with celery root, and Gruyere...... and cream.... I think.  Onions.  It was good too, but not as good as this one, IMO.

Well.... we're heading into hot weather so now's the time to fire off these warm comfort foods till the fall.

I'll put together food for DD16's graduation ceremony.  I was thinking BBQ pork roast... I make a half pork butt every week for youngest dd who loves it. 

Tabbouleh.

 Maybe Deviled Eggs with mushrooms, and thyme... amazing combination you wouldn't think was great either. 

GF Goat cheese cheese cake flavored with honey, and sea salt.... whatever fruit looks amazing that day on top. 

Against the Grain Bread... the rolls are so good.  Not the bagels or the baguettes..... the rolls. I buy the baguettes if I'm going to break up the bread for bread pudding or for roasted chicken, but the rolls... the best.  The bagels are not great, though they seem to be made of exactly the same product.

Must have really good pickles with BB'Q....... and that can be that.... and jalapeno peppers.

I can transport the meat warm, and everything else cold. 

Anyone have a great recipe for picnic buffet type fare?

Maybe I'll make the potato dish for all three gatherings, and forget the BB'Q.  It's more work. 

Lighter

[lighter]

What made me really happy lately....

Perfecting the cook time on a beloved roasted chicken recipe.  DD's response to smelling roast chicken as she goes through the door... eyes closed, hungry after violin practice..... heading for the kitchen.... makes me happy.

Helping my elderly neighbor unload her newly bought gardening supplies.  I haven't seen her out in her yard..... she looks so happy.  I think she's feeling better.... her arthritis keeps her house bound a lot. 
Since her husband's not feeling well, I wrapped a pound cake, gf, and close to sugar free SO YUMMY..... new recipe I'm tinkering with.... and brought it to them with a lovely pork loin.  That made me happy.

Noticing big 6X6 foot patches of clean happy weed free moss in my yard.... they're popping up all over the place!  I've been transplanting moss, and ferns, and pulling weeds steadily..... happily...... and it just rained which makes for the best weed pulling, tansplanting circumstances: )  Happy happy happy.

Ahhhh everything is so green and sun dappled after the rain.  I feel like hugging the just pruned Hemlocks today.

[lighter]

Finding a nest, full of baby Carolina Wrens, on the back porch today. 

http://www.audubon.org/field-guide/bird/carolina-wren

I had no idea all the yard noises were coming from these little birds.  I for sure thought the CW scolding noise was coming from ticked off squirrels. 

::shaking head::

Nope nope nope.  I really love the way the mom and dad are always flying in with food.  And they aren't leaving any messes. 

[Twoapenny]

I think we have birds nesting under our eaves, Lighter, I haven't been able to see them yet and I don't want to get too close but I keep hearing chirping and seeing a blackbird flying to and fro,

It's summer here now, finally, and I love the long, hot days.  I love waking up to daylight and warmth and that lovely cool breeze that's flowing through the house because you've had the windows open through the night.  I love the way it gets dark very slowly and gradually in the summer and you can go out for a walk late in the evening and still not need a jacket or to worry about proper shoes, flip flops will do.

I made a big turkey and vegetable concoction last night for the freezer.  All the ingredients were marked down so I've made about six meals for about £3 (about 4 and a half dollars, I think that is) and had a big bowl last night with home made bread.  Simple and satisfying, that makes me feel happy.

MY back is feeling better!  It's still a bit sore but I can get on with most things again and not have to do that funny movement where you try not to move one side of your body, lol, so I think a couple more days and it should be back to normal.