Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
This and That
lighter:
I feel really good about the entire thing.
Well... I'm a bit overwhelmed with having to have glass and china for the entire thing..... something a sib wants.
I'm sure I'm overwhelming people with the need for lovely fern and moss arrangements on all the tables, and in the air.... but we all need what we need.
If I didn't say... the garden is allowing us to have use of the place all night. It's usually dawn to dusk, but they made an exception for us.... we didn't really ask for it, so it's just a nice bonus. It means we can stay, music in place, food out, and just relax without having to move to the hotel to finish the evening for those who wish to hang.
Thanks for the support guys.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
It sounds like a lovely way to say goodbye, Lighter, and to see other friends and relatives all in one place. I'm sure the fern and moss arrangements will look amazing. And nice to know you can take your time in the evening and not have to rush around clearing up. It was nice of the venue to suggest you have the garden for the night. Lots of love xx
lighter:
So, the Memorial Service experience has been a lot about letting go, and being OK with what is.
For some reason, likely bc I've been reading a lot of Buddhist burial ceremony info, I've focused on suffering. Suffering is what we do when we ask the universe for something it can't give... when we ask ourselves for what we don't have... when we ask others for something they aren't able to give, etc.
And so.... I pick up the Funeral Programs this evening knowing they won't quite be perfect. In ways I don't understand and in ways I understand quite well. And that's OK. The short service will be full of love, and care, and mindful choices based on who my father was, both before and after his debilitating surgery.
I adore the Episcopal Priest, who's become a very good friend. The violinist is amazing, and has yet to say NO to one request.... and he sings.
The food will be delivered after the service, and I don't feel one way or the other about bit, except.... that's one more thing I don't have to do before the service. I've realized one way I express care and remember Dad is through making the space beautiful in nature. Everyone taking communion in nature, surrounded by his photos, and green growing things that won't be thrown out, and die. It's very powerful to picture that, along with fellowship of family and friends. One of my mother's cousins is making the long drive.... I love all the Ohio cousins.
I hope everyone gets along, and is kinder to themselves than they'd normally be this Saturday. I hope we leave that service feeling closer to Dad as the beloved child, man, father, and captive soul to a wheelchair for 20 years.
And if it's not ok....
it's ok.
Lighter
ps Thank you too, Hops, for reminding me to let the idea of perfection go.
lighter:
The memorial service was what it needed to be. Everything went well, if a little late.
We filled the place with lush green ferns and moss....the gardeners were so happy with it, but happier still when we donated it to their new miss garden. Seemed preordained.
My brother seemed very moved by every detail. We had pictures of Dad up on trees, held by wire wrapped around the trunks. There were arrangements wired to posts, and those had photos added as well.
We took communion under an overcast sky.... I really loved our Episcopal Priest, S. She was so comforting, and appreciated having the service in a natural setting too.
We sprinkled some ashes in with the UN eaten communion wafers we, the sibs, buried... he'll be in that garden whenever we go back.
I feel good about the whole thing, particularly about not having glass and China. It gave us more time to decirate, and enjoy friends and family.
Lighter
Hopalong:
I'm so moved by this, ((((Lighter)))).
So glad.
No more words.
xxoo
Hops
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