Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Just the crap I've been up to - LOL

<< < (13/33) > >>

sKePTiKal:
I wonder if she could understand the "well, bless your heart" response, as wielded by so many Southern women with impeccable manners. Maybe as a "talisman" it's better if she DOESN'T get it, ya know?    ;)

Yeah, I think the more I fight/resist being triggered - the more I lose that battle. It's just one of those things that I'm going to have accept about me (the warts) - live through it - and then force my brain to pay attention to other things - it can ruminate all it wants subconsciously, but life is busy for me and I ain't got time to indulge. Accomplishing things seems to be the antidote, anyway.

My task, should I choose to accept it - and I think I shall - is to spend the winter relearning how to make bread again. When Mike's mom died, there was this instant panic between Mike & Chris about finding her yeast roll recipe (which didn't exist; not written down) and being able to duplicate the rolls. Hers were soft dinner rolls. I baked for weeks in the multiple ovens I had at the beach -- and consistently failed. Chris seemed to master it, though.

The recipe I tried for Sat's dinner was more like crusty, rustic artisan rolls. They came fresh out of the oven like hockey pucks from Bisquick. I know I used the wrong yeast - but thought I could compensate and consulted with my friend in culinary school. The yeast was the first mistake. The rising just never seemed to happen until I recalled the new oven has a proof cycle. It never seemed warm enough to me - but by then I was firmly in "what do I know?" uncertainty. THEN, for some illogical reason, it said to refrigerate the dough for a couple hours or overnight. Maybe let it rest at room temp, I could see... but cold kills yeast action... so whatever King Arthur Flour knows about this process, they didn't share.

I'll drag out the recipe I used to use when I was working. It's a rustic white bread (2 loaves) that rises 3 consecutive days - and I used to leave the dough in the utility at the other homestead. That was the furthest away from the woodstove I could get. Super easy; it used to be super yummy and lots of air pockets.

Thank you Pepperidge Farm - I have a dozen rolls in the freezer that I like, as a back up.

I've always associated Alice's Restaurant & Thanksgiving with some flamboyantly failed cooking adventure, anyway. There have been many over the years - and I long ago decided it wasn't worth being upset about. Most of them were hilarious, in any case.

Between the cooking adventures and learning how to make a proper fire in the new woodstoves, I feel like I never get a chance to sit down. LOL. It really helps slow down the gas furnace's use of propane to keep a fire from afternoon till bedtime downstairs. I keep the garage/studio minimally heated as well - and when the temps dip, have to fill that fire box too. Found a new type wood splitter for kindling, that holds/splits the quartered log - with the use of a sledgehammer, instead of hatchet. I probably have close to a dozen hatchets in Mike's mess, but could only lay hands on 2. One was too nice to use and the other, standard, ordinary and very good quality one - needs a lot of work to restore the cutting edge/face of it.

I learned a lot about using a file making etching plates. LOL.

lighter:
I remember your bread baking phase, Amber.  It was nice, and I'm glad you're revisiting. 

About your mom's chaos manufacture.... it's hers, not yours.  If you can put on an imaginary helmet and keep it OUT before it gets in, maybe that's the secret.  To just not process her words, but know what she's about.... that you must resist hearing the first bit. 

She's a grown up girl, and wouldn't allow you to "fix" anything the right way if you could, IMO. Let her spin on her own.... that's what she does. You can choose to do something else.  Something better: )

Lighter

Hopalong:
Amber, this is in reply to your post on Tupp's thread...hope you see it before it's sold!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/213930524/introvert-pendant-engraved-alder-wood?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_d-jewelry-pendant-wood&utm_custom1=58510249-b875-4800-a351-2bfb5d5d232c&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwOX1jvLp1wIVVoGzCh0jKQ3QEAQYASABEgKkN_D_BwE

I'm sure this would really help in social situations. When we extros spot it we'll engage you in lively conversation about intro and extro!

Glad you made it through and sorry it was so uncomfortable. Your mountain move makes even more sense.

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Hops that's GREAT - like a medical ID - I should get 2, because Holly - for all she's comfortable in that kind of environment and seems to need a balance, gets into solitude too. She can use it like a mood ring.

Yes, I'm up way early because I went to bed when I was tired (way early) in the process of resetting "me". There's a list that's getting longer of the normal little things a person has to do that seem to "get in the way" of me having the kind of day(s) I want. Scheduling a bunch of things has gotten difficult because a person can no longer predict how long the first task might take - eye appt, oil change, shopping, whatever. Throw in the last few "projects" I want to finish up this year (before I start over with a new list after Jan1) and ACK! I wonder what happened to those days when I used to sit and just LOOK at things... and imagine what I want to do with it, etc. What I could make it into.

And I've been forgetting the normal list of stuff, too. My crazy inconsistent methods of "reminding" myself things works most of the time - but there have been some glitches lately. I think it's because things that should've been complete by now are still dragging on... it'll be another week before I was promised those buildings I ordered at the beginning of August, for instance. And by now, I was to be well into other things and just having a leisurely holiday month.

It will seriously be way too close to Christmas to schedule in those appointments, so I'm going to have to let them slide till after the holiday. There's another full week or two of hunting season out here (and my new driveway alarm just indicated that Ronnie is here already this morning - LOL) and businesses won't be making appts. The women out here are busy shopping, baking, decorating and freezing deer meat.

I may not try to visit anyone at Christmas after how long it's taking me to reset after Thanksgiving nor plan anything big here ON that day. Holly's birthday is the 6th - the 12th day of Christmas - so that whole week in between is "fair game" for get togethers.

sKePTiKal:
Busy first part of the week about to commence. Involves getting out of here for those days and going elsewhere. It's mostly exciting - but I'm not exactly looking forward to it either. I'm still in vegetable mode - today I think I've graduated from cabbage to carrot - it's chilly and fixin' to get yucky out.

Paying for and concluding formalities on purchasing the "back 40" acreage today. It's only a little more than we paid for "the little cabin"... and way more productive/usable. It also puts back together a tract of land into it's original configuration. I like that idea. Then perhaps a bunch of errands.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page