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End of the Road Farm

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lighter:
The only time I thought someone was a prospect, he went nuts....watched me eat in a creepy across the room way, barged into the bathroom, woke me from sound sleep to talk, was impossible to make small talk with, and it was like BAM!  He changed from funny and seemingly normal once he thought dating MIGHT be a possibility.  We never dated or discussed it!

He texted like a 13 yo girl....
while I was driving in a hurricane.....
with iffy tires! 
What.
The. 
Heck?

My brother said men lose their minds when they're attracted to a woman.  I wonder....how often is it a permanent thing?  It's.....not possible for me to engage it.

Lighter

 

sKePTiKal:
Tupps - you said exactly what my issue is with "dating" as a "thing". All my husbands (and THAT sounds weird) were people I knew, before we even thought there might be romantic interest. #2 was probably the closest to a "love at first sight" situation... and that didn't turn out so well. It also wasn't that bad, except for a couple of intractable issues.

This is why I'm looking for someway for us "senior singles" to interact as a group. Pairing off happens way more naturally; you have a much better idea (walking into that first "date") of who the other person is, how they treat people, where their boundaries are - and if they'll respect yours. Maybe center the "get together time" on some kind of activity, so there's at least that in common... cards, board games, trivia, movies... books... with discussion & socializing to follow.

There was one guy on the site I haven't subscribed to that made me laugh out loud last night. He's fairly close to my location, but it would still be a drive. He said he was making a "new" profile, since what he started out with obviously wasn't effective. He said he didn't like cats, dogs or people much. Didn't feel like it worth his time to try to meet someone in cyberspace and jump through hoops like a trained unicorn... and he wasn't sure coming across as "desperate" was the image he wanted to share publicly... so I looked at his pictures. One is of a 50s pickup truck he's restoring. I opened my message to him... with NICE TRUCK. And proceeded to talk a little about my jeeps. I might have to subscribe to a) find him again and b) continue talking.

And he's just an average guy, average looking, blue collar... but I don't care about all that. I'm interested in who he is as a person -- and his "new profile" let that come through the screen. THAT is something I can connect with... whether it goes anywhere or not.

I guess I'm finding out a lot about myself in this process. Blowing up my own long-believed myths about "me"... what I want... really... and how this whole process works.

sKePTiKal:
Never got a response from the guy with the truck. I think that website keeps everyone's profile and runs it across your screen, calling it a "match"... when it's just another entry in the database. Then, the profile descriptions that automatically selected based on a really short list of questions have fallen into quite the pattern. Some guys do write their own; there is some life to them.

But I did get a message back from someone. He seems real enough. We've just been talking... dipping a toe in the water... talking about ourselves a little. (No identifying/specific location data.) And not every day, either. He doesn't "tizzify" me... but he sounds like someone I can be comfortable with.

Good enough for now.

MEANWHILE, back at the ranch, in real life... I seem to be talking and no one understands what I'm saying. Something that should be simple enough to arrange to get done, or explain what I want, or accomplish... has become incredibly frustrating. All because the words coming out of my mouth aren't what people understand... and I don't understand or know about what information they're saying they need from me. And that feels horrible. Like I've been dropped into an alien culture, with a different language, customs, and I DON'T BELONG.

Sorely tempted to go back to bed for an hour or three, and dream until I wake up back on "my planet" again.

Twoapenny:
Skep, I think lengthy naps when it's all getting too much are just the best :)

As for the online dating - I know in the UK there are loads of things those websites do to make it look like they've got more users than they have, or they put users up as active when they're not or just have random computer generated matching things so it looks like someone wanted to get in touch with you but when you contact them they're not a paid up member so they can't reply, and so on and so on.  I got bored and lonely last weekend so joined one and have had the predictable emails from blokes who haven't read my profile and just want someone to get together with (mostly starting with 'oh you're so pretty!) which goes back to that flattery stuff we were talking about before.

Yes, I think the meeting someone as part of a group type thing is way easier; you know you've got at least one thing in common and I find I meet a lot of guys day to day that I find attractive but I know if I saw a picture of them I wouldn't feel the same.  It's all about getting a vibe off people, I think, and sometimes just something about their eyes or the way they stand, there are so many little things that are lost online.

Are you too rural where you are for there to be seniors social gathering type thing?  They sound like nicer places to meet people, not even necessarily for dating but just for company or new friends.

Hopalong:
The weirdness of online communicating---

NICE TRUCK! [Omg, she's so aggressive. All caps!? I'm scared of her...click, swipe, panic....]

Nice truck! [Is she a mechanic? Maybe she's part of a truck theft ring, I'd better shut down....]

I really like your truck! [Oh, that's sweet. She sounds....nice. Mebbe I'll....]

You like trucks? Me too! [Hmmm. Okayyy...but this is a guy thing.]

What kind of truck is that? [Uhhh. Guess I'll answer: It's a blah blah.... see if she wants to talk....]

Oy. Good luck Amber and keep at it!

Another line somebody once wrote about dating that I found both hysterical and helpful:

Hello, hello, keep the line moving....

hugs
Hops

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