Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
End of the Road Farm
Hopalong:
Hmmm....two and a half hours each way for each of you?
A pain, but doable....
Dang. Wish some tall drink o' water in your neck of the woods would ramble into your life.
Meanwhile, you sure are staying mentally healthy with the projects. Productive and active.
I ate pizza and cookies and spent all day dozing. Elder gent is at the edge of life, health crises and loads of intense pain, so caregiving's gotten intense. You can only give a 107 pound 93 y.o so much medication before it affects all systems, and docs just keep piling in the pills. He barely eats and I hate to see him suffer. I've arranged an agency to fill in some times when i can't be there but feel the stress of worry about him. Hard to get others to step up although the church did come through so I could enjoy half the weekend. Whew. Sorry for the hijack, might start a thread just on work.
love and enjoy,
Hops
sKePTiKal:
That's OK Hops. There are so many digressions in my threads... it looks like a "where's Waldo" map.
I've been TIRED this weekend. Usually happens for a stretch in the spring/fall. I'm totally in agreement with myself during these times - silence is wonderful, I don't want/need to think, turn on something mindless on tv like barnwood builders or a favorite movie that I already know the dialogue, what happens, and don't need to really pay attention to it. My brain gets "spacey"... and I just "stop". I fall asleep with what I'm reading... and sleep for 9-10 hrs at a stretch. Wake up rested, but with "still" energy... not ready to tackle the list yet.
Some of it is the huge barometer swing we've been through, between the storm and now. And the temps being just as cold, as those days when the sunshine was pale & had no heat to it... only now the sun is blazing bright and actually feels warm.
I piddled around and started filling the shelves on the tv/storage unit. That let me de-clutter where all that stuff has been living till now, in the kitchen & dining room. That now looks less like a General Store. Did a little online shopping for things I was almost out of... did buying research on a wood splitter... and even talked myself out of doing laundry. I am starting to realize I need to do another thorough spring cleaning, since the carpentry work done last summer. And MAYBE I'll get ahead of the ladybugs & stinkbugs now. I'm thinking about tight-fitting, all wood, spring-closed screen doors for summer. I have sun shades for the porch here, just waiting for motivation to hang them. The sun coming over the ridge in the morning lights up all my trinkets on the top shelves in the tv corner.
Kids were going to come out - but they have their own stuff to take care of. My friend will come out for an overnight St. Patrick's weekend... one of our traditional get-togethers, because Mike's birthday was about then, too. I could very well have the usual house full then... so I guess I should work on that bunkroom some.
The Viking is OK. I already knew that guys my age have their own farms, family close by, and aren't giving any of that up... and neither am I. He has mentioned wanting to buy land near OBX... and I don't have the heart to fill him in on the reality of it. It's a good place to dream about and vacation in. The trip to where he is, is about 4-5 hrs Hops. It's about the same distance from here, to where I grew up in OH - only he's east a bit and where there aren't any major highways. Remember - I'm about 1/2 hr from the VA border... and my county is optimistically described as "2 1/2 hrs from DC". LOL. Maybe as the crow flies.
Hopalong:
Right.
So you pick a spot halfway between, and meet there for a looong lunch!
Eh?
(I am SUCH a nag.)
The idea of you sitting on your mountain watching the morning light appear over a ridge and cast magic into that deep-quiet, mountain-home space nearly gives me chills. But happy ones. Such beauty.
I lived in mountains a lot during my life, and that's the nature that most speaks to me. These days, I don't spend enough time there. Need to go out (hell, it's just 20-30 minutes) and look at the valley, take some old-lady trails, remind myself how good that mountain quiet, except for wind rustle, is...how calming to the spirit and spacious to the mind.
hugs
Hops PS I notice your assumption no landowning man would ever be besotted enough with you to come live on YOUR mountain. Hmmm. Just don't pre-decide you know that, magic is always possible.... But I also see that you're moving in your own space, inner and outer, at your own pace, and that's exactly as it should be. I'm tickled for you.
lighter:
Amber:
Why can't the Viking have his, and you have yours? Stuff isn't as important as having connection and relationship....if that's on your list, that is, and certainly this is just my opinion.
Maybe it's wiser to just not explore a possible connection if you set minimum criteria,and stick to it, but everyone's children are grown..... I see more room for compromise in every direction.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Hops - he's already told me as much. I just told him I was independent - ie, not looking for someone to delegate the honey-do list to.
Yes, Lighter... the connection is way more important to me than the specifics of our living arrangements. For the time being, at least. And we're NO WHERE close to needing to discuss such things anyway. We're still just two strangers talking.
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