Storming

[Hopalong]

What
She
Said

I know, been very distracted in my posts lately but I'm following, promise!

And so glad you're seeing the back of this drama, Light. Undeserved, unecessary, OVER.

xo
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

I'm over here just ROLLING MY EYES at the explanation for the knife episode:

because you didn't empathize with him.

AYFKM? What are you supposed to be? His MOMMY? You're a customer; client; he's there to perform WORK for you... not get his head patted if he hits his thumb with a hammer. Or to caretake him, because you refused an indecent (pardon the victorian in me, is having the vapors) proposal??

In WHAT WORLD is it OK to threaten someone with a knife (or gun for that matter) just because people don't feel what you want them to feel; aren't acting in line with one's unreasonable (and very forward) demands?

I know many "men's men" and they would be just as horrified by his behavior as we are. It's just not the way they were raised to treat women. And they might just have dealt with him, on their own, out of your sight/knowledge FOR YOU. They recognize that guys like that are a danger to their own wives and daughters... or someone's. There are still some very very good men in this world. Taken, most likely - LOL - but they're there.

[Hopalong]

He reminds me of an angry incel.

Frightening.

Make tracks!

Hops

[lighter]

Tupp, Malevolent is a good word.

Yesterday I went to the seed store near me. A country affair, with hard working southern country men I absolutely feel would put Contractor in his place for his behavior.  It felt really good to be with them, treated like an equal, with respect.  I noticed how it felt, and it made me very sad, bc I;ve been starved for that feeling lately.  A respectable man doesn't bully, and intimidate his way through life.   

Hops... I think C is an angry incel.  I think he hangs with men who hold those views or don't have the intestinal fortitude to stand up to him, bc it would be such a nightmare.  Upsetting the C IS a nightmare.... he;s crazy.  No one wants to upset him.

I think I've processed this enough.

Driven lessons home, like nails into my skull. 

 I learn lessons by degrees, apparently.

 I can't just accept them, 100%, and crack on, un apologetically.
 
Thanks for your input, guys.

Lighter


 

[Twoapenny]

Tupp, Malevolent is a good word.

Yesterday I went to the seed store near me. A country affair, with hard working southern country men I absolutely feel would put Contractor in his place for his behavior.  It felt really good to be with them, treated like an equal, with respect.  I noticed how it felt, and it made me very sad, bc I;ve been starved for that feeling lately.  A respectable man doesn't bully, and intimidate his way through life.   

Hops... I think C is an angry incel.  I think he hangs with men who hold those views or don't have the intestinal fortitude to stand up to him, bc it would be such a nightmare.  Upsetting the C IS a nightmare.... he;s crazy.  No one wants to upset him.

I think I've processed this enough.

Driven lessons home, like nails into my skull. 

 I learn lessons by degrees, apparently.

 I can't just accept them, 100%, and crack on, un apologetically.
 
Thanks for your input, guys.

Lighter


 

Those are the kind of men I like, Lighter, the ones who will step up and do the right thing.  There's nothing manly about frightening people or playing me the martyr.  Disgraceful behaviour.  I am hoping for more good, kind chivalrous men (and women!) in your life now and Mr Crazy Arse becoming a distant, albeit unpleasant memory xx

[lighter]

I just know you and I will both have nice men in our lives, Tupp. 

Your phamily will have lovely men in it, and you've learned a lot about what you're looking for, and what you're not.

I certainly have enough experience to sort through,  esp if I honor myself as priority.

Lets remain open to new wonderful things.  Lets make room for them in our lives.

For me, that means I have to get rid of defensive postures, and assumptions about new people.  I have to listen and watch without judgement... only with curiosity going forward.

I have to trust my instincts, and let them rule... never allowing them to be overruled.  Not any more.

All will be well. 

::nodding::.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

I just know you and I will both have nice men in our lives, Tupp. 

Your phamily will have lovely men in it, and you've learned a lot about what you're looking for, and what you're not.

I certainly have enough experience to sort through,  esp if I honor myself as priority.

Lets remain open to new wonderful things.  Lets make room for them in our lives.

For me, that means I have to get rid of defensive postures, and assumptions about new people.  I have to listen and watch without judgement... only with curiosity going forward.

I have to trust my instincts, and let them rule... never allowing them to be overruled.  Not any more.

All will be well. 

::nodding::.

Lighter

I think making yourself a priority is absolutely key, Lighter, and not needing to justify it or explain it, either.  Mr Perfect may well be perfect but that doesn't mean we might not just want a weekend alone to do nothing much and just be by ourselves.  A true Mr Perfect will understand, accept and have a busy enough life of his own to make the most of his own time without us there.

Something else I think is important is listening to that inner voice and understand it's okay to walk away and leave someone to their own particular brand of crazy and not to see it as a test or an opportunity to learn.  What I think we can learn from those situations is that there are better things in life to put our energy into than coping with people who grate on us, whatever the reason may be xx

[lighter]

Life without people grating on us, Tupp: )

At least to the exclusion of those we CAN exclude.   

What a refreshing, lovely thought: )

That we can, and will, advocate for ourselves without feeling guilty, hesitating, or getting talked out of it.

Lighter

[lighter]

A poem to end this thread...

"When you are a strong woman, you will
attract trouble.  When a man feels
threatened,  there is always trouble."
Barbara Taylor Bradford