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Beware the scorned NM

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Hopalong:
I spent half my life as a fish, Ales.

Bait hooks us in our belief that we can make personality reality change....
and it's painful. Especially when it's a mother we wish could comfort us.

AND, everybody has thrashing on the hook incidents.

Hops

Ales2:
Thanks for all the support!

Ales2:
And, so the scorned NM took quite a huge step. 

This conversation, three weeks ago or so, has now resulted in me getting a phone call from a psychotherapist. She always says she needs to see "somebody" but never explains what or who that "somebody" is - my brother, a lawyer, a therapist, clergy (she doesn't go to church, doesn't believe in religion), a family friend?   So, today that "somebody" called. I tried to look him up online, but not sure which therapist he is just yet.

So, I'm guessing I will be seeing some therapist soon. 

My questions are:
Do I tell him at the outset that I think my Mother is an N?
Or do I just describe the events and details and let him tell me what that is?
Do I tell him that I don't have any interest in resolving the conflict with my Mother because she is an N and I've accepted that they don't change? 
Do I explain that my only goal is to be independent from her so that I no longer need her in my life at all? 

Ahhhh.... another little fork in the road taking me farther away from what I've planned that I did not need!

Hopalong:
A phone call from a T is an invitation or request to do family therapy with your mother, right?

An invitation or request is not a command that you have to obey. It's up to you to decide whether you feel it might benefit you or ease the tension.

You are [edit, oops, sorry! not]an adult woman who can choose what you feel will be constructive or relieving going forward.

I think perhaps a lot of this is complicated by your financial entwining, or some other form of money dependence/control issue, with your mother. And likewise, I understand that it may just not be possible in Hollywood for you to make it without some support.

It's a very tough dilemma and I feel for you, Ales.

Courage for this decision, whichever way you decide to go--
Hops

Ales2:
Hi Hops,

Yes, the phone call was for me to meet with him in advance.  It appears that she wants validation from a 3rd party to cut me out of her life. I participated because I already said I would. 

I came off sounding depressed, dysfunctional and moderately hopeless. I told him that if my employment was consistent, I would not have anything to do with her. He told me its probably best not to tell her that.  He is not motivated for us to be in contact or resolve our differences, so in all likelihood, we will have 3 sessions and end our relationship.

I'm happy about it actually. She picked him and I'm fine with it if it comes to that. No reason to carry on this charade anymore.

Good! Maybe this year I will finally be free!

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