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summer stuff

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lighter:
Hops:

Strap on your faux fur boots, and fight the good fight at Church.  Standing up for the right thing, in the right way, at the right time is a worthy Amazon endeavor.  I'm proud of you.

Catch us up whenever you have the time and energy. 

Lighter

 

sKePTiKal:
Hops, I think I understand the depressive episode. Only my emotion is grief, instead.

It's sort of the things we can't control; the things we WISH were or could be different; and the life-long inner needs for x, y & z... all sorta coming together into a tangled MESS. In other words: life jumps up and says "hello! remember me??" And because we're already worn down, maybe frustrated or grieving, or just numb already... we're vulnerable. And just can't decide, deal with it, or even care.

Life WILL pick on us when we're in that state.

And in my case, I think I still really want someone ELSE to care - enough so that I can restart or jump-start my own caring. Caring enough to start deciding, dealing with, and moving past/through and into something else. Could be a wrong want; and most of the time I deal with it. I've tried not to judge that because I know how it came to be. And I still struggle with letting other people help too... although that's getting a lot better, what with the challenges of the farm.

After any swelling goes down, light regular movement is your best therapy for the knee and ankle.

sea storm:
Hi Hops

Good to hear from you and I hope you can navigate through all the change in your usual way. That is thoughtfully, taking care of yourself, keeping connected to people who care and nurture your soul. I just wrote words help and erased it three times. Lately I have been experiencing how much self love can do to comfort one in times of way too much stress. When you list the things that are happening that are shaking your world it sounds like such a lot to carry. But life just keeps going on and it IS A LOT TO Carry. What amazes me is your capacity to carry it until it passes because you have the inner resources and the faith to keep going.
My mom came to me in a dream and she put a dab of cream on my third chakra and said that i  needed to do that. I said to her, Mom ... that's not enough. Its such a small amount.   She quietly said,  Its Enough.  I have thought about that for years and I think it might have been you who said that she was giving me her blessing.  Now I know the second part of that is that I need to do this for myself ... a lot. Just say ,, its enough. Like when you go to church and you know there is infighting, gossip and a power struggle that is tearing the place apart, and you look at the windows with light shining in or at the faces of really old people who need the place and are the heart of the place and then you say... its enough.  Finding your place of gratitude and regaining your true spiritual connection which is inside and very high above a mixed up preacher.
There are some people who have ten times the heart and ten times the capacity for love that most of us have and I wonder how they live in such a measly world. I think you are that way and hope that you can get by by saying to yourself... that's enough.

I hear your struggles and I care.
Lots of love

Sea storm

Hopalong:
Thank you, dear ((((Sea)))).

I am doing much better. My depression has lifted about 90% and I think it's because instead of being the scared child about my church family, I am now deeply engaged with the group that's trying to coordinate a democratic and well conceived move to ask the Board (at some point) to go through the approved procedures to eventually (likely this fall) bring it to a vote. We are sending a letter directly to every member around the first of July to outline our concerns, and have collected a list of supporters already committed to signing that letter with us.

So I no longer feel alone and scared, I feel like an adult who is doing what she can to change the situation. If we do not prevail (a definite possibility, as he has fans) that is okay. I will have done what I believe is right, and would then maintain my involvement at the level that works for me. IOW, do not attend on the days he preaches, keep up by reading all sermons online, and attend on the 1-in-4 when our positive assistant minister preaches, and continue to work on committees that have goals I share, stick with my 2x/month Covenant Group involvement, etc. And then just...wait him out. Eventually we will have a minister who does minister to me. And I can still be well and have church family in the meantime.

The difference between being scared and frozen and concerned but taking action is big. Duh.

The injuries (ankle and knee) were a wakeup call about fitness/wellness. I can't take long walks now and doc sez to take it slowly, wear braces (I am), use NSAIDs, and be patient. My next big step will be to coax my long-time-avoidant lardass into the pool. So that's on my agenda. Don't ask, I'll feel guilty, but you can be sure I'll bray about it here once I DO go!

Much love to you, that more good dreams will come and also manifest in your life. (My latest good dream was a surprising erotic one about my yard guy...real chemistry there, but he's married.)  :lol:

Lots of love and gratitude for you,
Hops

lighter:
Hops:

How are things going lately? 

Did the letters go out to everyone yet?  If so, how is that going?
Lighter

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