Amber:
I'm glad you stopped adding to your list too.
I'd like to try living differently the remainder of this year. I'm ready to stop agonizing over things, and problems, and deadlines. Sometimes I recognize chaos creation habits before they have me. Sometimes not.
Friday my Bora-Mild-Care wasn't delivered as promised. I started to spin, then shrugged, and left an after hours message to deal with today. The first call was calm, but didn't realize a trainee answered. Got original customer service gal on line, and think it's handled....re routing 5 gallons to hotel in different city, by Friday....
what could go wrong? The thing is, I stayed calm. Swam with DD. Cooked three beautiful lasagnas in an electric skillet, and worked on making bathroom look fresh, and clean....walking meditation for me when in right headspace. I know you know what I mean. This is sea change for me to notice fretting patterns, and choose joy instead.
I noticed there was as much worry about how failure would look to others, as for all my expensive lumber, and work to be eaten by termites. Both very alarming, and problematic for me...... delivery date sabotage not my fault, but doesn't matter, bc of the fail. Still feels like I FAILED, but shaking off. Sibling jept saying...."We feared you put your order in too late," so calmed myself over and over, each time. Assigning blame in my family is a thing. Focusing on resolution 100x better. Customer service apologized profusely, and refunded next day air fee. All good, and I didn't need to make her feel bad to handle it. I noticed I tend to take in responsiblity fir things I have no control over, and worry about them.
I touched the cold water line in bathroom sink while painting. Rust crumbled away, and water began dripping. Turned off, and will get parts to replace c and h valves and lines. When I showed engineer, he touched and now it's dripping again...floor wet, whoo boy
.
I scratched my head, got a container, figured I'll scour wet floor and use that water....no reason to worry. Will replace today, if get parts, and worker ever shows. It rained, and no one showed at all.😬
Getting used to that part, and looking for positives. Thank goodness plumbing getting fixed before aI go, kwim?
Sister coming today. I'm a tad worried about her tidying things so I can't find them. She also grabs any wash cloth and ruins them while cleaning, even when house filled with rags fir that. I can't complain, she's cleaning, but I have towels for guests that need to stay clean. Sometimes it's 2 steps forward, one step back, and half my time spent looking for things.
Just had phone conversation with friend that took my attention off today's missions. Noticed discomfort, and did a check... .was it old pattern, or warranted? A little of both, and now I'm back finishing list, calling workers, and going for parts and cash. Better not to let anxiety in at all, unless crisis at hand. This is all regular stuff.
The journey continues.
Lighter