LOL.... understand Hops, there is a LOT of romanticized creative license in the description. Still. He was injured in combat in the 90's; he and about 20 other guys with similar injuries got some bionic treatment... and he's one of the last of that group still standing above the dirt. He describes himself as dented, not broken... and jokes about rappelling out of hospital windows to escape the clueless nurses and horrible food.
He's the same age as Mike, about my height and not quite as gray/white as I am. The beard is impressive; long & luxurious; SOFT. Long hair, thinning on top, with a couple beaded braids. Lots of laugh lines and crinkles around grey eyes that twinkle telling stories on himself or talking about his daughter. He's Appalachian, like me... with a good sized helping of native, too. He's more of an "old gods" believer too. Rough, callused hands that are usually dirty, given the equipment he works on - and he works on all kinds of things. He still likes to go fast on motorcycles; faster than I'd dare and I quit riding because I liked speed too much.
He's like a powerful arrow released at large foot pounds of pressure from a taut bow - point him in the direction of a task and don't get in his way. You can help of course, and ask questions... he'll gladly explain something while taking a break. His hands are steady and patient while dealing with small engine parts and squeezing things between hoses, wires... all the tight places at awkward angles. It doesn't matter the task - he's on it and got it done before you can (or I can) process that it's really happening. He can't stand sitting still or being immobilized.
He's wise in the woods ways; having spent the first part of his life in the mountains... but he's also travelled to far away places and seen/done other things too. There isn't any topic of conversation that he doesn't chime in with the sensitive voice of experience - especially the kinds of things, he and I have in common at the core: trauma and what it takes to manage/live with the residual stuff and not be an evil person. He likes music and making things... which was part of the reason for the trip.
Long time ago he was showing off to the guys online some of the knives he makes from old car and truck steel. I was fully in my "post-modern pirate" phase then, and asked him if he'd make me a short sword. We discussed blade design... and shortly thereafter his bionic medical devices started going south on him. (This was maybe 6-7 years ago.) So, I shut up about the sword... dealt with Mike going downhill in a hurry; he spent a solid two years going in/out of surgery for a few different things and when he could post or we could talk on the phone or text... I had his back through all of that. But I was also just one part of the crew of loyal friends supporting him. He's been through some scary stuff. I was going through my own scary stuff - and he was there for me without trespassing any boundaries that would complicate things or make me more stressed out and conflicted. Patience of a hunter.
So, after recovering from the last batch of lab-rat lunacy... he mentioned he was looking for something specific, but kind of uncommon. I PM'd him that of course I still had one, due to Mike's 'collecting' obsession. When he took the bait, and asked what I wanted for it - I told him all I wanted was the sword he'd promised he'd make me. Then, the trip up was postponed for about 3 more months for medical crap again... until both my jeeps came up with some technical problems. All this time, we're irregularly in contact and chatting about our separate lives.
He loaded his own tools in the back of his apprentice's pickup and brought what he had. The sword wasn't with him. He'd been out on the Redbud reservation for a traditional buffalo hunt some years ago, and came back with some bone for knife handles. He was using jawbone for the sword. It goes through some alchemical process to harden it... and the handle broke twice in shipping or processing. So it's out for a third time and he's waiting on it. He also made a baldric to hold it; strap goes over the shoulder to keep the sword close to the body. What he delivered... was a really nice handmade & polished from recycled steel, throwing tomahawk and the wickedest fixed blade knife in the heaviest leather belt sheath I've ever seen that impressed Hol too. He'd stamped the sheath with my horoscope birth sign.
I asked him how he knew that - because I rarely mention my birthday, and he just smiled that steathy grin and said, "I pay attention to things".
Lest you think I make "easy prey"... and just blindly fall for the "wow... this is the first guy to pay attention to me" trap... I've had a year to think about this without it being muddied with the old emotional attachment to Mike. And we still hadn't met face to face. Buck is one of the 3 big brothers that chivalrously and wisely and gallantly got me through all of that mess. The doc, given what he revealed about himself awhile ago... doesn't even know about this development. He's gotten overly-parental of me. The other one is my "second brain" - happily married, medically retired, and still raising adopted twins that they rescued from a violent, ugly situation overseas. We will always be friends, because he also shares the link to strange things via trauma. He knows, is happy for us, respects Buck from knowing him online too.
So, my life is shifting from the time/space to just deal with me (and Hol was afraid I was getting too comfortable in that zone) to one of complicated logistics due to the fact that Hol, and now Steve are basically living here until the Holly Hut is complete... with a little wolf pup on the way - LOL. It's a race to see if they can get her place livable by the time she delivers. This solves one of my fears about getting feeble out here all alone; they'll be at the bottom of the hill behind my house. Steve is also a woodsman and naturalist and has some skills in common with Buck. Steve was working most of the weekend when they were here. That kept testosterone levels managable for Hol & me.
There is no rush, no pressure... but the desire for Buck and me to spend more time together. We have our own individual logistics to sort out before we can even add the possibility of an "our" logistics. And I'm just fine with that arrangement. He is able to explain to me how to do; is constantly offering to help or fix something... and I have to remind him, doing the work around here is all part of my "longevity workout program".
I expected him to be tall, dark and handsome in a "Sir Lancelot" kind of way. I think he used to be. Now he kinda reminds me of a druid, or one of the old Vikings still looking for their passport to Valhalla. And I intensely reminded him, that Shield Maidens are a force in their own right - even though we are also, "all female". I haven't even scared him off with going through one of my weird "knowings" and subsequent panic attacks. He and I use the same techniques to get through them.
There is always a little "space" between us... even as the doors to being emotionally intimate with each other get blown off their hinges. LOL. We both respect that space... and it's magic for making things work out. I KNOW I can trust him. And he knows I'm not going anywhere either - even when I had to pull back for awhile because I was mixing up feelings I was still dealing with, over Mike with my developing feelings for him, I was still around supporting him and letting him know I cared. There is a female friend in common between he and I, on the forum we share. I confided in her, about why I backed off. So he probably knows. She's good; wouldn't just blab... but also make things clear to him.
I'm just taking one thing one day at a time, as they come up. He's been alone awhile too... and doing the same. But now we touch base with each other, morning & evening. And that much is comfortable and cozy; non-scary.
