Meandering

[Twoapenny]

Oh G, this sounds like a nightmare, your neighbours are playing basketball against your wall?  In the early hours?  I just don't know what the f is wrong with some people?  Who does that??

I do get/have had pretty much every symptom and feeling you've been talking about on here and I wish I could say I have found a miracle cure but for me the best cure is staying away from people and having peace and quiet and avoiding stress - which you can't get with arsehole neighbours and all this picking a course stuff you're doing at the minute.

I do agree with Skep about the pressure to engage with 'society'.  My problem isn't that I don't like people or interaction, as such, but I want it to be good quality, meaningful interaction that doesn't tire me out or leave me wanting to punch a wall and that's what I find difficult to find.  My friend has started reading a book called 'Quiet' by Susan Cain which is apparently about the power of introverts.  I haven't read it and my friend only just started it but I thought it sounded interesting.

I have been doing this little yoga sequence for my jaw pain which I thought of when you mentioned your jaw muscles being so tight; I might have mentioned this before, I'm having de ja vu!  Lol I'll put the link at the bottom.

I think being this stressed out is very adult; so many people are experiencing this.  I honestly think we're at a really weird tipping point where all the 'stuff' we've been encouraged to buy and all the 'work for your dreams' stuff is actually doing us more harm than good and some of us (me!) would be happier pottering about in the garden and not talking to anyone   Ear muffs and ear plugs work wonders for my son and I use them sometimes when our arsehole neighbours' dogs are barking for hours so I hope that at least they help a bit.

I wish I could wave a wand, G.  Sounds shitty.  I hope it starts to lift and feel a bit better soon xx xx Keep writing it down! I like to read how you're doing, even though I wish it were easier for you at the minute

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbItEmN16jw

[Twoapenny]

Do you know what else just occurred to me on the subject of people and community and being sociable/unsociable and so on, is that what I find hard is that most conversations are about what people do - where they went, who they saw, which drama unfolded as the day went on, where they're going next week and so on.  And for small talk that's fine but, truth be told, I don't find other people's telling of their day to day activity very interesting and I rarely do anything interesting in practical terms so I don't have much to talk about.  What I do do is an enormous amount of work on myself and wade through huge amounts of emotional stuff and self improvement and self awareness and blah blah blah, every day, which I jabber on about to you guys.  That's the kind of stuff I am interested in - philosophies of life and coping strategies and people having to make tough decisions about cutting people out or keeping people in or working through relationships.  So I think, for me, that's where I find socialising draining, because it's just not usually involving talking about something I find interesting and most people I know aren't interested in my emotional struggles on my work on myself.  Maybe that's the same for all of us and why we all get on well on here?  Just different kinds of people having a different focus, I guess?  Anyway, just a rambling thought that popped into my head I thought I would write down I need a biscuit   Lol xx

[Meh]

Waves from my imaginary garden over to two's imaginary garden. yeah I read about the jaw exercises but then I didn't watch the video I still need to do that thanks for reminder. Yes I'm reluctant to talk to my friends about emotional things. sometimes I do sometimes it just blurts out even though I wasn't going to talk about it. But yeah a lot of convos are not too deep. This is def a good group of people.

Last few days anxiety is demanding my attention and I'm distracted by that. I do wear earplugs and they're not enough.

Typing from phone because my expensive laptop is at the mercy of FedEx going to a repair center across the country.

[Meh]

I should be doing other things but I was in a burger joint just reading a book. American Prison, Shane Bauer. Highly recommend but it's dark. How the history of slavery continued after it was legally ended because the loophole was prisoners could still be slaves so leasing out prisoners became very profitable. So I think the author basically draws a link between that and why America has the highest percentage of imprisoned people in the world. It was a great book I recommend reading it. Does make one wonder though how sick the world is when huge institutions get away with neglect, abuse and even deaths.

[Twoapenny]

Waving back, G!  Sorry to repeat myself, I had a vague memory of mentioning that yoga vid to someone but couldn't remember if it was on here or if I actually did it or just thought about it

I will look out for that book you mention, I think a lot of people have fewer choices in life than they think they do and there's still so much inequality and exploitation, it makes me feel very unhappy.  But equally I find it hard to avoid it, because it's so deeply embedded.  Very tough situations to deal with.

What's happened to your laptop?  I hope they can fix it and get it back to you soon xx

[Meh]

Some things are worth repeating two. About that book though fair warning it's very very dark. Sorta real life fight club weirdness.

[Twoapenny]

Some things are worth repeating two. About that book though fair warning it's very very dark. Sorta real life fight club weirdness.

In an odd way I like dark books, I like the honesty of that sort of writing.  Human beings can do incredible, amazing things, but can also be unspeakably cruel and demonic and utterly stupid as well.  We're an odd species.  I will keep an eye out for it x

[Hopalong]

Tupp, I know what you mean about most convos being about what people DO.

I yearn for more convos about what people THINK.

Fortunately, I've found some groups where that happens. One is "Sunday Explorations" which is a secular but ethical/spiritual kind of conversation group. About 20 members, and diverse. Well, most are educated so scratch that. But there's plenty o' wattage and diverse life experience, anyway.

That plus UU groups have fed that need of mine. And M is all ideas all day long. His only prosaic subject is recipes (yawn...).

Hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Tupp, I know what you mean about most convos being about what people DO.

I yearn for more convos about what people THINK.

Fortunately, I've found some groups where that happens. One is "Sunday Explorations" which is a secular but ethical/spiritual kind of conversation group. About 20 members, and diverse. Well, most are educated so scratch that. But there's plenty o' wattage and diverse life experience, anyway.

That plus UU groups have fed that need of mine. And M is all ideas all day long. His only prosaic subject is recipes (yawn...).

Hugs
Hops

Those groups sound nice, Hops.  There is a group round here who meet up once a month to talk about death   I find it kind of interesting so might go along at some point.  But yes, thoughts and feelings do a lot more for me than what people do.  Even with what people do, I find it interesting if they're describing their holiday and how they felt about the place they visited and what the history was like and they got talking to some old hippy guy who went there for a holiday in 1964 and never went home - I like those kind of stories.  But if it's all about what they had for dinner each night and who got most drunk by the pool my brain just goes back to snooze mode xx

[Hopalong]

I've heard of the "Death Cafe" movement.
People gather to "have cake and talk about death."

It sounds shocking but it relieves a lot of emotional pressure,
because our cultures have made it so difficult for people to
talk honestly about their mortality, what it means, how they'd
like to prepare, etc.

I've read that there can be a lot of laughter and friendship
in these groups, formed by such honest talk. I like the idea
and almost went to one of those events here...the timing
just didn't work out.

hugs
Hops

[Meh]

I'm lurking. Took a Tylenol for a headache and having some stout beer AND sleepy time tea is brewing. Got earplugs in as I just need some peace to hear myself think or something. Sometimes I don't have much to say or feel bottled up, still I like to come to the board.

[Hopalong]

Glad you're here, G!

Lurk away.

And sleep tight.

Night,
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

If you don't mind my asking G, what happened with the school decision? Did I miss that somewhere? If so, I apologize.

[Twoapenny]

Hope you're doing okay, G, and that things have quietened down a bit with the noisy neighbours.

Love Tupp xx

[Hopalong]

Ditto...me too Gboat...

I hope you're okay and can give us an update sometime.

Thinking of you,
Hops