Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Winter Stuff

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sKePTiKal:
Ha... shoes! I purged mine when I moved and still have shoes that haven't seen the outside of my closet since they were unpacked. Hats too. I could stand to have fewer "hats" that I wear... the metaphorical kind. Only have one head... can only wear one at a time.


Tell ya what, this is kind of a difficult winter for me too. Different reasons, but the lowering skies and lack of sunshine remind me to take extra vitamin D3. It helps, as a preventative.

Hopalong:
Ahhh. Well, having a 1955 bedroom closet, about 3-4 feet wide, is very helpful for the simplicity-frugality minded. I actually love the limit. I don't want a lot of clothes and stuff! Don't need "storage" that ordinary furniture (a few things underneath) can't cover. I'm not attracted to the asceticism of minimalism, but looooooove what "Voluntary Simplicity" sorta sums up. (It's for the fortunate but dwindling, middle+ economic class who have the luxury of pondering that...not for folks living hand to mouth in REALLY TOUGH circumstances, like Tupp, who listens and loves and supports everybody here with amazing spiritual generosity despite an enormous difference in resources....) I digress. (With love.) Just...sometimes I feel sad that Boat (Bean, etc) disappeared, because supporting a VESMB member who had been homeless was very meaningful to me. I sensed it was perhaps a tiny bit of class despair, the reason she left? Plus her depression, working at a freaking call center. Could be wrong though. (Half my life and half my thoughts are/were wrong, which I'm mostly at peace with now. Might not be a bad average? She said, hopefully?)

Where am I. Right, SHOES! Oh, I was gonna write you to save me your shoe boxes because they'll help me Kondo! And hats! (Except I think you'll be talking flamboyant amazing artistic hats, whereas I'm more interested in knitted cap-hats that are cute enough to confuse the onlooker as to whether they're for warmth or sun protection versus trying to hide rampant glimpses of scalp up top.) Found one on Etsy and now have a go-to source, since she'll make one as needed!

I am absolutely babbling stream-of-consciousness here. (Or unconsciousness.) What's really happening is that I'm quite excited about meeting the WRITER man for our date tonight. He is the first man, ever, I've met online, whose emails I have unequivocally enjoyed. My best attitude will be Lighter's observation mode, but I can tell I'm a bit nervous because I'm planning to suck it in (belly) all night long. And The Hair freshly washed is disguised enough. I still get the odd "Your hair is..." compliment, and the old heart/ego purrs.

okay okay okay breaaaaathe

Tell you one thing. Knowing that I can come home from this first date, however it goes, and tell you patient VESMBers the blow by blow, is beyond comforting. And I am beyond grateful.

love y'all,
Hops

lighter:
OK..... suck it in.  I know you must, so have at.

Just remember, if your lower back starts seizing, go to the bathroom, put your back against a wall or partition, and perform the dirty dance move.... it's saved me SO many times, and is the only way to stretch those lower back muscles, IME.

Have fun!  Be curious, and release expectation!

Light

Hopalong:
If only I knew what the DD dance move WAS...  :D

Didn't matter. He's got a bigger belly than I do (though he's much fitter, tending his 30 acres or whatever portion of that requires tending).

Date Report (pasted from what I sent my poet pal who demanded a quick update):

I just feel drained (wine); but it was fun. He's
smart, likable, verbal, and cute. At 75, he has
ALL his marbles which is a bonus. He's healthy
looking, and fitter than I am. Everybody is.
Not sure he's emotionally available even
though he shared a ton. Bit o' mansplaining.

He has a very tumultuous romantic/marital
history, which he openly shared about. A lot
of it sounded as though he's actually needy of
women but doesn't see/own that, so he was
frequently wounded when things ended. And
then he'd often have an Act 2, getting back
together, on and on. Not sure how reflective or
self aware he is. Good storyteller and chronicler.
I did truly enjoy his company, happy to again.
But I'm not sure he's interested in marriage.
I think he's not and I am.

And...I felt a bit as
though as open as he sounded he's still opaque.
Very content with his own company and doesn't
seem to be affected by loneliness. So...not sure.
Didn't have much of a sense of humor, sigh. But
not as rigid as my engineer-dates, like B. All
in all a pleasant and high-energy evening!

He obviously likes me and wants to do
something together Sunday. I'm thinking.
Dunno if I see red flags but I might. I think
if we just play together, for company, that
would be fine. If I want something serious
though, not sure he's mature enough to talk
that way about what he wants in life (besides
sex). Nice kiss when we said goodbye, and
I realize I could definitely enjoy him that way.

All in all, great date and possible new something.
But I'm going to continue to see what happens
online, because I'm looking for a long term partner
and marriage. No law sez I can't keep my options
open until someone is on the same page as I am.

And there 'tis.

xxoo
Hops

lighter:
The date sounded lovely, Hops.  Just the thing for getting out, and feeling happy.

Bask in this man's robustness.  Listen to what he has to say.  Listen harder to what your intuition says. Honor your instincts, always. 

About the Dirty dancing move.... it's not comfortable, and it's embarrassing, but it really stretches those lower back muscles, particularly when we've been sucking it in, IME.  DD is lifting your pelvis UP, if your lying flat on your back, toward the ceiling, then relaxing it back into slight arch, then back toward the ceiling.... these are micro movements.... a matter of inches, moving ONLY your pelvis, nothing else.  Repeat as necessary.   It's a very helpful "dance" move; )

Lighter

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