Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Relationship/s
Phyll:
Well done Hops. I can very much relate to the early tendency to romanticize and daydream. It reminds me of what a friend of mine once said which really stuck with me: A co-dependent packs her bags on the first date. Nothing wrong with checking public records on a complete stranger you find yourself interested in before moving forward. Great job in being direct with him and setting the boundary. I am so impressed with how you honestly and fearlessly examine (and articulate) your own thoughts, motives, desires and feelings. I agree - his response is a real turnoff - yes - leading with self-pity and no remorse or thought about the victim(s)...
Hopalong:
Well whaddayouknow.
I just had a second date with a sweet man. S.
It was a nice experience.
He's divorced, my age, my economic peer, has a young child (11) because he married someone 20 years younger. Lives so close to the ex his D can walk over. Pooch liked him.
I see differences, loads. But he's a good person: kind reflexes, listens. Attractive and crazy into fitness, so that's a challenge for my insecurities. We had a nice relaxed time. Dinner at his place. I since we first met (two-hour lunch) have said EXACTLY what I'm thinking as I feel like it. He likes me. I like him too. We're very different. But there are qualities there I like: solid kind of country childhood. Adored his mother (good sign!). Maybe some neediness on his part that surprisingly might be a match for my own.
Who knows. Doesn't matter. Not fantasizing too much yet. (Yay, me.) I'm pleased I forced myself out the door to give it a try. Got lost and was a half-hour late. He said "I fall in love fast" and I made clear that my foot is on the brake, hard. We're going to see if we'd like to be friends (first if not forever) and have a plan to go to a favorite overlook soon.
hugs
Hops
Hopalong:
I forgot the part that's the most fun to tell:
1) Given the ADD, I have a terrible time getting out the door in time. Transitions fry the brain and my time management sucks. I know this, but it is like hand-digging a building foundation to change it. Fortunately, it sometimes gives good stories.
2) Called him re. running late; he's totally sweet and forgiving about it. Meanwhile, he's also invited Pooch so I let her pee and rush her into the car and hop on the interstate. She hates interstates so often trembles and complains at high speeds. I get absorbed in NPR. Halfway there, I realize she's just taken a dump on the passenger seat, so the car fills with poo aroma! (Me too, presumably). I had a little quilt on the seat to diminish dog hair for human passengers and while reassuring her (not her fault, I neglected to walk her long enough since I was late) that she's a GOOD GIRL. I swipe the quilt and some of the turds onto the floor at 65 mph. Not all make it. She next leaps into my lap and so leaves schmears on the center console and my pants. First impressions, right?
3) My cell phone is dead because of a SIM card problem I didn't attend to as I vaguely ADD-thought I would during the day. So I can't GPS. He lives in a dense development near the mountains that's 10x more massive than I realized and lacking in street signs (from Google maps, I'd figured oh that's easy, go around the roundabout and take a turn or two and I'll run into it). So I'm late and then get ridiculously lost.
4) I find the only center-square restaurant open on Sundays and 4 strangers get on their cell phones to help me find where it is, but I've been one syllable off on the street name. I tell them his name and a nice couple (with two cute kids) get on it. Later while I'm wandering through a parking lot in the wrong direction they pull up and go Nooo, follow us, you're nearly RIGHT THERE! Sure enough, they found it. Is that lovely kindness or what????
5) When I get out of the car the wine I brought him slips out of the bag and I scramble to find it while yakking a mile a minute to divert him from the poo-cloud.
After all that, we had a really nice evening. Now it's time to go out and Face the Pooch Poo. Couldn't bear doing it in the dark last night so left it to ripen.
hugs
Hops
Phyll:
That is a great story Hops! One I certainly can relate to with my ADD! Those people helping you, that is wonderful. He sounds like a nice man. Have fun and enjoy!
Hopalong:
Thanks, (((Phyll))).
I hope to just have fun too.
But he's got to slow it down or I'll exit.
Whew. He's still nice but I doubt we'll
become more than friends. Meanwhile,
nice to have a new one.
hugs
Hops
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version