Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Meandering
Meh:
Yep Two it's an out of work scheme thing for certain. "worker retraining".
Thanks Skep. I just need to make up my freaking mind within the vague time and option constraints of the programs. more than one program that might not mesh together time wise.
Looks like a big ol educational smorgasbord though what's the saying "Every silver lining has a touch of gray"... and then I will get by until eating too many corn dogs catches up with us... or something.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Garbanzo on August 14, 2019, 12:16:58 AM ---Yep Two it's an out of work scheme thing for certain. "worker retraining".
Thanks Skep. I just need to make up my freaking mind within the vague time and option constraints of the programs. more than one program that might not mesh together time wise.
Looks like a big ol educational smorgasbord though what's the saying "Every silver lining has a touch of gray"... and then I will get by until eating too many corn dogs catches up with us... or something.
--- End quote ---
Is it starting to get any clearer, G? I find it hard to make decisions when I have a time pressure added, I hope you're doing okay xx
Meh:
Nope Two it's not clear. I think I just need to keep taking steps in a constructive direction even inside the fog.
Meh:
I've recently had some moments of sleep rage. Only get it rarely once so many years. It's like road rage but instead it's sleep rage when one is having a hard time falling asleep or being woken up against my will when I need more rest.
I'm having a beer, haven't had one in a good few weeks but I am so high strung I think my jaw muscles are going to slingshot my jaw bone out of my face. I should probably be eating low carb stuff since I'm old enough now to be pre-diabetic. Beer is not a great choice.
I've never had road rage.
With sleep rage my heart just starts pounding wildly and I find myself acting like a crazy bitch from hell.
Intense anger is not something I get too often. I do feel like things are wildly out of control right now and I'm just going to accept that for the moment.
It occurs to me the crazy heart pounding and freak out very much seems like the flip side of a panic attack, so I guess I realized this is probably just the fight version of flight or fight.
I have done or tried tactical breathing a few times this week!!
Bad news is I got unfocused on school stuff and felt so awful today from tossing and turning that I ditched an early morning appointment that has a long wait time to get again. It's possible it may have been cancelled anyhow cuz the person had a family emergency. Oh well.
Anyhoo. I'm behind on everybody's posts now. Finished reading this book though. it's chick escapism.
https://www.amazon.com/Bookshop-Shore-Novel-Jenny-Colgan/dp/0062850180/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=bookshop+on+the+shore&qid=1566358882&s=gateway&sr=8-1
And now I am tearing up because life is so fucking stressful sometimes.
I walked out in the dark some guy either thought I was looking for pokemon or was casing the joint. NEITHER. I told him I was walking for stress reduction.
feel tired but not sure I can sleep gonna get ready for bed anyhow
sKePTiKal:
Ah G... hugs. I know this is important to you, as I would certainly hope it is. But making yourself all wound up isn't a required sacrifice to the Gods to "make it so". It just makes you all wound up and starts up the old self-sabotage feedback loops.
You're gonna be JUST FINE getting through this process - but don't expect it to make sense (now) or even go smoothly or quickly. Sit tight, relax a little, and be patient. All will be well - or at least managable. It's safe to let yourself feel proud of yourself for starting the process and a little happy about it; happy anticipation for the first day of school.
:D
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