G, I've been a pretty compulsive reader for most of my life. It's served different emotional purposes for me. I started to read, very very young.
Lots of children's Bible stories, adventure books - The Black Stallion series was one of my favs. Back then, I think I was reading to learn about life. OTHER kinds of life, than the one I was experiencing at home with my crazy family. I wanted to know what other kinds of people liked, did, how they lived - so that I could choose to do something different from what I seemed fated to experience in those first 12 years of life.
I was already thinking about spiritual matters, psychology, religion, political theories etc. Reading Shakespeare - complete works front to back, including the sonnets early in HS. Tolkein. Sci-Fi classics. I was already convinced that LIFE DIDN'T NEED TO BE THAT WAY and that people could choose to change how they interacted with life. And it provided me a huge escape - identifying with different characters, and reading how they thought, felt, and acted in response to the challenges they faced. I tried all those on, like different persona "outfits". Over time, I know I've kept some - and discarded lots of others.
When I was really bored with being me, and tired of beating my head on the same old brick wall of problems... I read. When I just didn't have the energy to tackle facing what I was confronted by - I read. I let myself enter the world of the book, which might be why I've gravitated toward long series like Outlander and Song of Ice & Fire. Sagas. There was continuity in the stories; the characters were reliably predictable in their personalities, their character, and abilities. And when they overcame a big challenge or acted outside of their "normal character"... it was the most interesting part of the story for me.
Reading was how I educated myself on how to become a whole person. It filled that hole of not having a parent mirror who I was, somewhat. I learned about strange exotic dangerous and very very balanced and well-grounded people... through stories, rather than non-fiction self-help books. While with Mike, my reading fell off. For years, I didn't even read a whole book. And it was the first thing I returned to, along with many many film options that I didn't have a chance to indulge in due to him being the master of the remote. LOL.
I just watched an interesting (lesser known) movie last night, with a super cast. "Get Low" - Robert Duvall is the lead, Bill Murray is a funeral director, and Sissy Spacek figures in it as a pivotal relationship in the hermit's life and story. The reviews say the ending is anti-climatic, but honestly, for those of us who had a story to tell about their lives that they kept secret so long... the ending is spectacular. The way the story of this hermit's secret is told is pretty well done and the acting, with this cast? Is over the top good. It's just a simple story but the supporting details of the visual and plot "telling" is pretty well done too.
Have you tried writing? Maybe you'd have better luck at it than I do. I can babble like this, just fine... but can't tell a story for crap. I can't even tell jokes properly. Never had the knack. It might be fun to try it just for you. Doesn't have to be YOUR story; just make up people and events and locations.
