Yard

[lighter]

I laminated a trail closing sign and got it up on Tuesday.  The trail closes Monday.  There are many offers of help and funds. 
The plastic grate system holding the gravel has popped up in some places allowing gravel to slip under it.  If I pick up that 2x2 foot piece, the two adjoining pop up too and it's a PITA to remedy.


When I put the track down I was hurrying to finish for company.....should have dug higher spots down.  There are 2 or 3 high spots with resulting bald patches at highest points.  Neighbors think I'll be dumping more gravel.  I think that won't fix it.

I have a crate of huge stones I want to replace old stepping stones with.  I'm trying to come up with a plan with more balance...
I get a chunk of difficult work done, path fixed, more peace for Pug and the neighbors have their cut through.  I have less anxiety around it since fear of legally losing control drops with yearly closings for maintenance.

Combination of blocking Pugs long view, training her to bark, but stop on command, and asking neighbors to walk on other side of Hemlocks when it's not raining....which feels like my neighbor's yard, but is still part of this lot, might be a 1st phase compromise.  If things don't get better I can change things up.  I have enough stones to make 2 new paths in moss....really love the big stones in moss, and also a little stone area at back stairs. 

Less weeding if moss to weed is a good thing.  I can use the moss I take up to patch the yellow spots in back.  Bear pee?  Not sure, but they need attention.

I want to be home for a while even if I'm uncomfortable being a General giving orders on yard projects with neighbors closer to the house than ever for a short time.  Timeframe gets shorter if I have a plan and set firm workdays beginning Monday.  Maybe can be done in a couple weeks.

Time to clean outdoor shower and figure out privacy solution there.  The doors have metal bars, but decorative.  I usually hang my towel over the space, but can improve.

I watched the sun come up over the lake with my morning coffee.  Ghee and some chocolate Stevia liquid I found at grocery store.  The morning chorus is nice.  Almost chilly, but not.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Well done, Lighter, it must feel good to have that plan underway and for everyone to know what's happening.  Also so nice that you've had offers of help, even if they're not needed (or not needed from certain people, anyway).  Hopefully it will bring you some peace just to have it closed off for a while.  It's good that you have different options of what to do next and other things you can try if first ideas don't work out.  Coffee by the lake sounds lovely   We had rain first thing and when I went out to feed the birds there was that lovely earth smell you get after it rains, along with the apple blossom scent from the tree outside the house.  The blossoms fall every time a bird lands on a branch so it looks like there's confetti over the path at the moment.  It's really pretty.

[lighter]

I love the thought if you feeding the birds under blossoming trees, Tupp.  The rain makes me happy. 

Lighter

[lighter]

I wish I'd spent more time working in the yard before heat and bugs of summer, but hey....the renovation came first. 

There's debris all over the moss... I need to blow it when things are damp.

I've decided to ask 2 of my neighbors, yes, both married, for help.  Their wives volunteered them....both wives wear the pants.  I deserve support and help too. I'm asking, bc I provide the trail they all enjoy.  It's OK for me to ask for help that's being offered. It's OKfor me to accept help.  This is hard for me..... I realize I'm not used to asking for help.  I'm working on it.... it IS complex, IME.

When it;s time to open the trail back up , I'll likely allow just the people who helped.  I don't have to allow everyone who likes using it.  This break has forced them to find another way to the trails.... I hope they'll continue using it.

YG can go through the Cowboy's yard..... he doesn't have to go through mine, even though he has.  I haven't seen him once in a couple weeks.   I hope we can be super distanced BUT somewhat normal when we see each other again.  IT IS HIS stuff.  Nothing to do with me.

I'm full of energy today.  Happy to plan things in yard.  Will send e mails to husbands and wives..... looking forward to getting bigger projects done!  Woo hoo.

Lighter

[Meh]

I'd like to find a neighbor and see if they need help in the yard but they may think I'm nutso. Yard work is a really good physical focus and mind clearing activity for some people while others think it is a chore.

I read your story about the yelling guy (YG). He needs personal divorce counseling! Lots of guys are weird in how they can convince themselves that women are attracted to them when there is no attraction. Sometimes it's nice having guy friends but it often is taken the wrong way by guys.

You don't have to be overly tactful with him if you don't want to be. Hopefully he will get the idea. If you had to put your hand up and say STOP and he didn't register that then it is his problem.

You've sure got an active neighborhood. 

[Twoapenny]

I wish I'd spent more time working in the yard before heat and bugs of summer, but hey....the renovation came first. 

There's debris all over the moss... I need to blow it when things are damp.

I've decided to ask 2 of my neighbors, yes, both married, for help.  Their wives volunteered them....both wives wear the pants.  I deserve support and help too. I'm asking, bc I provide the trail they all enjoy.  It's OK for me to ask for help that's being offered. It's OKfor me to accept help.  This is hard for me..... I realize I'm not used to asking for help.  I'm working on it.... it IS complex, IME.

When it;s time to open the trail back up , I'll likely allow just the people who helped.  I don't have to allow everyone who likes using it.  This break has forced them to find another way to the trails.... I hope they'll continue using it.

YG can go through the Cowboy's yard..... he doesn't have to go through mine, even though he has.  I haven't seen him once in a couple weeks.   I hope we can be super distanced BUT somewhat normal when we see each other again.  IT IS HIS stuff.  Nothing to do with me.

I'm full of energy today.  Happy to plan things in yard.  Will send e mails to husbands and wives..... looking forward to getting bigger projects done!  Woo hoo.

Lighter

Was really glad to read this, Lighter - yes, you know asking for help feels difficult but yes, you know it's also okay.  Good for you.  YG can absolutely go elsewhere good, I love the fact that you're feeling able to allow only the people you want in.  It's a good rule in life, isn't it?  I hope the energy continues

Hi Mouse!  I'm hoping you can find a garden buddy scheme.  They do things here where they pair up volunteers with older or disabled people who can't manage their gardens alone and I hear so many nice stories about people helping each other out.  One really nice one about an elderly lady who misses cooking roast dinners now her husband's passed, so she does one for the guy that's doing the gardening and that makes them both happy I hope you can find someone, you have such a talent for that sort of thing, it would be amazing for you to transform a space for someone.

[lighter]

Well....I thought I might not get frog eggs in my water catch containers this year, but.....

I found THREE containers have eggs today! 

Last year it was ONE container and SO MANY LITTLE GREEN FROGS!  So magical.... like faeries.

This year I have neighbors stopping by to scoop up clear goopy slime with what looks like fat, dark mosquito larvae that aren't moving.

Last time they were scooping up swimming tadpoles in a little net. 

We'll get to see the entire process. 

I plan to let the tadpoles fend for themselves this time. Last time I fed them then documented everything I could. You have no idea what a tadpole really looks like, up close.  Nothing like you'd think, I'll wager.  Lovely purples and brown patterns.....brigh green spinach clearly visible in the coils of their stomachs. 

So cool.

Lighter

[Meh]

Aww, very cute about the frog farming! No, I've never looked at a tadpole that closely. They must all be different depending on the species, the only one's I've seen as a kid were very small and black.

[lighter]

They're amazing up close, Mouse.  In certain light they're translucent with little bones and digestion visible.

[lighter]

The hemlocks need treatment for wooly adelgid (sp?) again.

So many hemlocks.  Measuring every trunk.  Mixing and pouring poison into trenches cleared and dug around each tree.

Love the hemlocks.

Lighter

[lighter]

I haven't been in the front yard all summer.....maybe twice, but in the rain or as rain ended.  I'm avoiding neighbors, still, I realize.

It's time to decide how things will go.  I chatted with retired nurse and it's clear Yelly Guy has been endearing himself with acts of service in the yard.  He must have whined about me, bc she enunciated "it's good for BOTH of us" meaning me AND her.

This was over his weed eating on either side of our shared drainage ditch....looks like a creek.  I usually do it.  I've been away, busy not caring.  I think he weed eats our property line to the street, which is mostly moss.....looks pretty good.  I feel almost nothing about it either way.

I'm posting about it, bc of the conversation with retired nurse AND a text YG sent...
"Not expecting a response
  Just wanted to say hi."

He sent a picture if neighbors cat sitting under my truck last week.  I didn't respond.

I realized tonight WHY I don't respond.  Fuk off us all I feel....I have nothing polite for him.  Nothing.  No energy to force out a response making "nice.". Maybe I'm done making nice.  Without malice.  Just.....done.

At the same time..... reptilian brain knows bruised male ego isn't always stable or rational.  Better to ignore him and not waste space in my brain, ime.

I'm extremely resistant to being forced into contact with icky people, I realize.

About the trail still being shut down:
A neighbor I don't know posted on neighborhood message board asking for update, complaining signs still up....wanted to know if property was public....when would trail reopen.

The doc answered her immediately....
The property was private.  The owner had made a nice trail so property wouldn't be damaged.  The high traffic damaged the tail.  Owner Lighter was figuring out what she'd do and doc expressed gratitude for having had access in the past.

Doc very smart lady.

I've seen people on the trail, despite the signs twice.  Younger neighbors who have access through their parent's back yard 2 doors down and a father and son on bikes I've never seen before.  Not sure what they're thinking....saw them read the signs then ignore.

Doesn't make me want to hurry up and work myself hard to fix and open trail back up.

I'm tempted to have the two families I like help work on the trail then allow only them to use it.
 Other people will want to follow them if they see anyone using it. 

I'm really enjoying the privacy and quiet closing the trail creates.

Doing nothing is a choice too.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

(((((((((((((Lighter)))))))))))))))))) I'm very much at the same stage as you with being done with being 'nice' - largely because I feel there are just too many people who take advantage of 'nice' - and I end up being put upon, having unwelcome attention/conversations, having to deal with situations I didn't create because someone took 'nice' to mean pushover, no boundaries, her needs don't matter, I can have my needs met and so on.  I'm not going out of my way to be rude to people, far from it, but I do feel very much that I want interactions with people that matter to me and that I get something out of as well.  Polite to others, yep I can do that, but 'nice' I am pretty much over.  I guess you're at a similar point to that.  Yelly Guy sounds very childlike with his attention seeking.  Very odd.

Is the trail a public footpath that you must reopen or was it you kindly making it accessible for others?  I'm hoping there is a way forward that doesn't cause you stress, whatever it might be.  I watched a programme here yesterday about a lady who has a public footpath that runs through the middle of her land and she was talking about the damage people do because they don't stick to the path and go wandering all round her fields, scaring her animals, leaving picnic rubbish around, one family were having a barbeque in what is essentially her garden!  I don't understand some people's mindsets, truly.  The nurse and the doc sound like good people to have around, though.

[Hopalong]

Just two thoughts, unsolicited advice both:

1- I'd let the trail go back to nature

2 - I would block YG's number from your cell (thought you said you had no text relationship with him long since ... why receive, even if you don't respond? Why expose yourself to his unsolicited texts? Why enable manipulation?...)

Sorry about the trail. Good deeds....

Hops

[lighter]

It's funny how our paths Trek down similar paths, ((Tupp.)) I'm trying to dial in some middle trail....between fok off and making nice automatically.

Something emotionally removed and cool.....zero heat or flash of chemistry.

Hops:

The mowing and texts are designed to elicit a response from me.  The same with yg chatting up nurse neighbor.  I'm considering telling her the truth, to end that manipulation.

As for blocking his texts..... that's a response, Hops.  I won't be shoved into any response by YG's actions or words.

There's a right way to deal with this, for me and I honestly can't see it clearly.  Yet.  I will.

BTW, this was so far down my list it didn't get brought up at T's office. 

I lock my doors.  Remind the girls when they don't lock up.  Gently remind them how difficult it would be to have a mentally unstable person try doors in the neighborhood and find ours unlocked.

I have every confidence we'd overcome, but it would sure be unfortunate if we had to.  Then I reminded DD20 eyes and throat shots, target selection and protecting one's computer.

I hope she understands the ounce of prevention motto, esp as she's home alone quite a bit.  I hope her brain understands it's ok to hurt aggressors her brain identifies as friend/neighbor.  I know mine does, but it's unknown till you're in that moment.

Lighter

[lighter]

Baby bluejays are learning how to navigate the trees.  They fly into my potted hydrangeas on front porch then to trees then to fp railing then to stick in gutters.  I need to clean out my gutters.

Tadpoles don't know what to do with frozen spinach, bc I haven't raised them up on it,vI guess.  I really enjoyed watching their little coiled bellies full of bright green food flash when they surfaced, but they aren't full if green this time.

Lighter