Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Reciprocal Relationships with Others and Ourselves
Twoapenny:
Defo lots of research, Lighter, and I did laugh at your 'Call The Midwife' analogy :) There are definitely places like that around but lots of other alternatives - eco villages, direct action groups, communities that are very focused on bringing art to the local community, communities that are specifically for people with learning disabilities (I'm not keen on these, they all seem to focus on the horticulture/animal care/catering route which just isn't right for son), all sorts of different set ups. Some are coastal, some very rural, some set up on big council estates or inner city areas. Some required people to build their own homes or buy existing houses, some are renting a room in a shared house. A couple are completely off grid - people living in their own shelters in the forest. That sort of thing appeals to me when the weather is nice but at no other time lol. Lots of different possibilities. There are a few within driving distance of us and most run open days or community events so we can go along and just start getting a bit of an idea of what might work, what won't, whether or not it's feasible and so on. I think it will be enjoyable finding out a bit more and visiting a few places - I expect we'll meet some interesting characters, if nothing else! xx
lighter:
I'm sure there'll be lots of interesting stories, Tupp. Good luck with your research. Maybe you'll find a new friend. You never know: )
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on August 18, 2019, 02:08:15 PM ---I'm sure there'll be lots of interesting stories, Tupp. Good luck with your research. Maybe you'll find a new friend. You never know: )
Lighter
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Lighter, I think it will be an interesting thing to research, even if it ends up with me deciding against it! I've found two places within a reasonable drive that we can visit. One does a community day every Sunday where anyone who fancies going can visit and they put on some activities and food so we're going to go there and get a bit of a feel for the place. The other organises open days every now and again so I've put our names down to be notified of the next one that's happening so that we can visit them as well. There was a third one that does weekend visits but they charge and it was quite expensive! Which I thought was a bit cheeky for people who are interested in finding out more - a small charge I can understand but this was quite a lot so that put me off.
I think what I'd need to look at first of all is whether we'd suit an actual shared house, where everyone is under the same roof, or somewhere where you have separate accommodation but come together at certain times for certain activities. I think I also need to have a think about whether we're best suited to a place where we can work in leiu of rent, or if it would be easier to be somewhere where we pay rent rather than having to work on site. And then looking at whether we want a place that has a particular ethos, or a place that's more just a place where people live and that's their main connection. I want to feel exited about looking in to it but in all honesty I just feel exhausted. We've still got the current education/legal battle to deal with. We've also got to deal with transitioning from children's to adult services next year (the social worker is already being a pain in the arse and keeps misquoting chunks of legislation at me so I know she's not being honest. I'm trying to get a different one but it isn't easy because there are so few of them). We've also got to transition from child related benefits to adult ones at some point although I'm hoping we can put that off for another year or so and that I might be earning again by then so that might not be such an issue. I just feel so overwhelmed by it all, plus trying to work on myself, change patterns and habits, be a happy mum for son and take him out from time to time and then dealing with the loneliness which for some reason is intolerable to me right now. Maybe that's a sign of healing, though? It might mean I'm open to being around people more now, if I'm finding loneliness difficult to bear? I'd love a magic wand :) Lol xx xx
Twoapenny:
Feeling slightly less positive about the group today, but am trying to stay as observer/not panic/let things happen and remind myself I don't have to do anything about anything at any time!
Just felt a bit more today that people were off loading on to me, rather than talking (by that I mean conversation, back and forth). We were only there for an hour or so, slightly longer perhaps, but I felt tired by the time we left, rather than energised as I have done previously. The scope of what they want to do (and therefore what they want me to do) has changed several times over the last couple of weeks (emails back and forth). It doesn't affect me hugely but I do feel slightly perturbed that concrete plans keep changing - but will continue to sit back and watch and remind myself this doesn't need to be my thing if it turns out to be a lot to cope with. Also found out that someone else who's been asked to help out is no longer required - but the lady in charge of the overall thing hasn't told them which I find slightly worrying. The other person is very keen to help and I understand the lady in charge not feeling they should now (I think they have quite different ideas about where things are heading and how things should be done) but do feel she should have let them know, as the other person was talking today as if they're very involved and they still think we're heading down Path A, whereas lady in charge decided Path B was better a couple of weeks ago, but hasn't told them. So that felt a bit uncomfortable and I hope they sort that out fairly soon. I also seem to have fallen in to the role of tea lady and washer upper, which I don't mind completely but I kind of need anything else I do to bolster me up so I think I need to watch out that I don't just become group mother. Not a biggie, just a few things that came up today so thought I would get them written down and out of my head :) xx xx
Meh:
Two I read your last few posts here about intentional community. I don't know what I think about it and don't feel I'm the best to give advice.
I guess we have to explore all options we know about as part of our due diligence in life. Even if a lot of the options end up being no-goes. If we don't at least ponder it we can't even rule them out.
There are so many pros and cons to consider in that scenario.
What is this most recent group that you are doing tea duty for?
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