((Bettyanne))
I remember wishing I'd have calmed myself down, when B was struggling with colon cancer for 5 months, looked around, and given more attention to the things I could control. Fresh flowers, nice scented oils, candles, and clean sheets more often than I got to them. I was a mess. In shock. I'm sure visitors would have benefitted from a calmer, comforting environment. I'd never had to go through that before, and it was paralyzing, outside the doctor appointments, keeping up with meds, and managing emotions... mine and his, which had to be done. I know everyone would have benefitted had I brightened up our space.... thought through which lamps to turn on, which to leave off. Sometimes too much reality is too much reality. Changing out all light bulbs, for warm light, lifts my spirits 100%.
One helpful thing, for pain, was the 12 hour oxycontin. Bill could sleep longer, and I didn't have to wake him up every 4 hours to keep the pain under control. The 4 hour stuff meant we were both consistently sleep deprived, and suffering. Fighting the pain back was the cost of letting Bill sleep longer than 4 hours.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Lighter
