Achievements

[Meh]

Ah well then Two you made me laugh.

[Twoapenny]

Ah well then Two you made me laugh.

I'm glad it made you laugh, G, it made me laugh, too!  Hops, thanks for the re-wording advice, that makes good sense to me and I am keeping it in mind.  Today's truths are, "I am moving towards a new life".  "I am embracing change".  "I am sure my son is going to be alright".  They feel like truths at the moment.  Sometimes positive statements feel like I'm lying to myself.  But these ones feel like an okay fit

Anyway - today's achievement - paperwork!!!

Sat down to do a couple of hours.  Have got a lot done and found my workload has reduced quite considerably because there are things that are now not so urgent (won't bore you with the details but some things that should have been organised haven't been and I can't do any more about it now so it has cut the list down quite a bit!).

I am taking a different tact with son now.  I do need to differentiate between my anger and frustration at the inadequacies of the system and the large numbers of people doing a bad job, my fears over the future (his future and mine, really) and the fact that, despite all the failings, he is happy and enjoying himself.  So I'm going to view the next year at college as him attending a youth club whilst I get on with all the legal battles to get a budget in place to educate him at home again.  It takes the pressure of me of feeling that he's being let down.  Legally, he's entitled to another six years of education after this one, and we can do all of that at home if need be, so I'm trying to focus on that as the outcome for this time next year and this coming year just him going to a youth club each day.  I should get a bit of a break now - there isn't as much paperwork to deal with now and the urgency has lessened as the things that had deadlines have been dealt with.  I do feel disappointed that the system is as inadequate as it is but there is only so much I can do about that.  I will keep working with him at home and I will keep looking out for work opportunities and other places to live but I do feel in a better place about it all than I did and am actually starting to feel like things might work out okay!  I know - a miracle! (And probably won't last lol) xx

[lighter]

I planned to get out into the yard at 7:30, barefoot in the moss, early morning rays hitting my retinas, with sitting meditation fitted into the same time slot.  What could get better than that?  Well, the moss was covered in sporophites, and baby girl pug wanted to enjoy the overcast cool morning too, so she came with.

Then she found the yellow jacket nest. 

I tried to knock them off her. 
They stung me. 
I ran. 
Pug didn't follow... she just gave up,  leaning silently into tall grass, looking at me.  There was a lot more running, screaming, and encouraging the Pug to run, but she had to be saved.  I left my phone, and coffee, and got us both to the house where I found the last bee in her right ear.  She was pitiful. 

After deciding which vet to take her to, bc she was collapsed and refusing peanut butter,  we got there, then decided to insist regular vet take her instead. The morning was shot, and pug isn't allergic to bees.   

I read reviews.  I write reviews.  That emergency vet clinic had too many bad reviews. 

I found the nest this afternoon, then waited till dark to deal with it.  I'll deal with another nest tomorrow.  Volunteers, working on neighborhood sign,  were stung.

Yellow jackets are crazy. We wouldn't even know they were there, if they didn't come after us, and swarm like they do. Just walking close to the nest, and not right over it, sets them swarming.  Everybody be careful, and watch where you walk. 

[Twoapenny]

I planned to get out into the yard at 7:30, barefoot in the moss, early morning rays hitting my retinas, with sitting meditation fitted into the same time slot.  What could get better than that?  Well, the moss was covered in sporophites, and baby girl pug wanted to enjoy the overcast cool morning too, so she came with.

Then she found the yellow jacket nest. 

I tried to knock them off her. 
They stung me. 
I ran. 
Pug didn't follow... she just gave up,  leaning silently into tall grass, looking at me.  There was a lot more running, screaming, and encouraging the Pug to run, but she had to be saved.  I left my phone, and coffee, and got us both to the house where I found the last bee in her right ear.  She was pitiful. 

After deciding which vet to take her to, bc she was collapsed and refusing peanut butter,  we got there, then decided to insist regular vet take her instead. The morning was shot, and pug isn't allergic to bees.   

I read reviews.  I write reviews.  That emergency vet clinic had too many bad reviews. 

I found the nest this afternoon, then waited till dark to deal with it.  I'll deal with another nest tomorrow.  Volunteers, working on neighborhood sign,  were stung.

Yellow jackets are crazy. We wouldn't even know they were there, if they didn't come after us, and swarm like they do. Just walking close to the nest, and not right over it, sets them swarming.  Everybody be careful, and watch where you walk.

Oh, Lighter, poor pug!  Was she alright after all that?  It's always a shame when a lovely start to the day turns into a nightmare.  Nature can be very amazing and very terrible in equal measures.  I hope she's alright now.

I don't feel like I've achieved too much just lately but I guess that's because a lot of thinking and processing has been going on and I suppose it's not as easy to see what you achieve with that.  I have made chocolate mousse for pudding this evening   I'm slowly plodding through paperwork; I've got it down to just a couple of complaints that I need to finish and send off and then I think that's about it.  There's a few bits to write for a paediatric appointment next month but I think I can mostly copy and paste from other documents so that shouldn't take too long.

I did give the bathroom a good clean, including walls and ceilings, and I'm trying to use natural products now so just did it with a mix of warm water, vinegar and a bit of essential oil.  Got everything nice and clean and smelt lovely and fresh so that worked out well.  Have booked up quite a few events to go to over the next couple of months so a few nice things to look forward to.  Did yoga this morning.  Will try to do some more before bed, neck feels very knotted.

[lighter]

It's funny that you were in the bathroom, scrubbing.  I used Softs Scrub Oxyclean this morning on my tub and shower, which is the only one the girls will use, btw.  Maybe I can figure out how to clean with salt, and oil, and vinegar.  My hands like the feel of grit. Felt great, but set me back on drive to take Malinois to the vet. 

He's such a sweet sweet boy now.  Nibbles treats gently from my fingers.  Doesn't pull anymore. I guess getting older has it's advantages. Renewed drviers license in about 6 minutes flat... AMAZING!  Didn't sit down, I was in and out in a flash WOO HOO!

Ordered a replacement Title that's been vexing me.  SUCH A GREAT DAY!

Tupp... I re read your paperwork paragraph.  It struck me that I might feel better about paperwork IF I'D HAD A CHANCE TO FILE A COMPLAINT.  I wonder if filing something true, and fair and right would feel empowering?

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW it's better to just stay out of the system.  It's just that I've never ever been allowed a voice in the system.

I hope you get your papers done, and out of the way soon.
 PIL SUNG!  Means imminent victory.
::nod::

About baby girl pug getting stung.... she's fine.  ZERO reaction, no swelling, and basically recovered by that evening. 

[Twoapenny]

It's funny that you were in the bathroom, scrubbing.  I used Softs Scrub Oxyclean this morning on my tub and shower, which is the only one the girls will use, btw.  Maybe I can figure out how to clean with salt, and oil, and vinegar.  My hands like the feel of grit. Felt great, but set me back on drive to take Malinois to the vet. 

He's such a sweet sweet boy now.  Nibbles treats gently from my fingers.  Doesn't pull anymore. I guess getting older has it's advantages. Renewed drviers license in about 6 minutes flat... AMAZING!  Didn't sit down, I was in and out in a flash WOO HOO!

Ordered a replacement Title that's been vexing me.  SUCH A GREAT DAY!

Tupp... I re read your paperwork paragraph.  It struck me that I might feel better about paperwork IF I'D HAD A CHANCE TO FILE A COMPLAINT.  I wonder if filing something true, and fair and right would feel empowering?

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW it's better to just stay out of the system.  It's just that I've never ever been allowed a voice in the system.

I hope you get your papers done, and out of the way soon.
 PIL SUNG!  Means imminent victory.
::nod::

About baby girl pug getting stung.... she's fine.  ZERO reaction, no swelling, and basically recovered by that evening.

Lighter, I filed multiple complaints about the first child protection thing.  It took over two years and goodness knows how much time and effort on my part but eventually they had to admit that their version of events was untrue (I got it in writing) and the Ombudsman found in my favour on every part of my complaint.  In practical terms it changed nothing but I did feel better for having it confirmed that no-one had behaved appropriately and we had been treated very badly.  There have been other times since when I should have complained but didn't have the time or the energy.  I will complain about the education situation because son's needs haven't been met, so they might award him compensation.  If it weren't for that I don't think I'd bother at this stage.  It's a bit of a double edged sword - very stressful and time consuming but it has given me a sense of closure in many cases.  It's hard not being heard, as you know only too well.

I put three tablespoons of white vinegar in a bucket of warm water and a few drops of Bergamot oil, which is supposed to help offer protection against bad energy.  I have felt very flat in this house and wondered if some sort of energy was stuck here.  The Bergamot smells nice so either way it felt like a good addition.  I used the same solution to clean the kitchen cupboards but sprinkled salt first to get the grimy bits off, then rinsed with the vinegar solution.  I use bicarb of soda on the carpets to freshen them up when I hoover.  Glad pooch was okay

So, achievements today - I started well with meditation, then yoga.  Had a good breakfast, tidied up, pottered around doing odd jobs and then took son out for the afternoon.  Cooked a nice dinner, with pudding, did some laundry, tidied kitchen.  Did a couple of emails and made a couple of phone calls.  It was a quiet day, but got quite a lot done and it should make tomorrow and easier day.

[lighter]

I guess the lack of accountability, and consequences for the people who do harm is pretty hard to make peace with.  For me, it's the truth.

You do all that work, go through the process of disproving the negatives used against you, and what happens?  You got a letter that isn't worth much.  I hope it helps you explain what your NM and sf ARE. 

You're amazing I realize,  once again, as I read through your day.  I'd hate to be on the other side of a complaint you're filing.

I write that and think.... I wonder if Tupp can force a decent decision or settlement that helps the bad guys avoid responsibility or the embarrassment of being outed for poor conduct/performance/incompetence, etc.

Sometimes we get something for NOT pushing all the way to the end.  If we can see an end isn't worth the bother, then we know what we have to do, IME.

I found, very often in court, that proving I was right, and the PDs or opposing counsel, or Judge or T was wrong/committing fraud, or a little crime, it wasn't worth the effort, bc I couldn't GET anything out of them, or put them in jail, or recoup more than a fraction of the time and expense, etc.

What are your options, Tupp?  What's your best opportunity to get the best outcome for your son?

(((Tupp)))  You deserve a break.  I hope it's on the way.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

I guess the lack of accountability, and consequences for the people who do harm is pretty hard to make peace with.  For me, it's the truth.

You do all that work, go through the process of disproving the negatives used against you, and what happens?  You got a letter that isn't worth much.  I hope it helps you explain what your NM and sf ARE. 

You're amazing I realize,  once again, as I read through your day.  I'd hate to be on the other side of a complaint you're filing.

I write that and think.... I wonder if Tupp can force a decent decision or settlement that helps the bad guys avoid responsibility or the embarrassment of being outed for poor conduct/performance/incompetence, etc.

Sometimes we get something for NOT pushing all the way to the end.  If we can see an end isn't worth the bother, then we know what we have to do, IME.

I found, very often in court, that proving I was right, and the PDs or opposing counsel, or Judge or T was wrong/committing fraud, or a little crime, it wasn't worth the effort, bc I couldn't GET anything out of them, or put them in jail, or recoup more than a fraction of the time and expense, etc.

What are your options, Tupp?  What's your best opportunity to get the best outcome for your son?

(((Tupp)))  You deserve a break.  I hope it's on the way.

Lighter

Aw, Lighter, I do get what you mean, at each stage you do have to ask yourself what is worth your time, effort, what is the best possible outcome and is it worth it?  I think for me, sadly, I realised quite some time ago that, if the best we can get is a letter, two years after the original incident, telling me I was right, then it isn't worth it in many cases.  I don't personally believe that individual people have an impact on certain personality types, who are convinced they are right, regardless of any evidence to the contrary.  And discrimination against people with learning disabilities is rife in the UK, so deeply embedded in our society and culture that it just permeates everything that you do.  A lot of people don't seem to understand that there is more to equality than being nice to someone - you have to try your best to help them live the best life they possibly can and a lot of people don't think it's worth the time with someone who is unlikely to develop beyond a certain stage of childhood.  It's also important not to impose your own notion of what their best life is upon them - something I've always found hard not to do - and that's a daily battle for me, trying to stop other people from imposing their notion of what is best for my son upon us (because it generally involves him just doing as he's told without complaint - I think you should complain a lot if you don't want to do something!).

It's possible we can get enough compensation out of this to keep money aside to pay for private assessments from time to time, or a nice holiday, or to use to move house.  Not definite, but a good enough chance to make it worth putting the time in to do the complaints.  I've already been through the local agencies, which is the first port of call, then you have to go to the Ombudsman, so essentially the complaints are written, I just have to re-do bits to fit in the sections on the form and pull together all the evidence I have to support the complaint (as the Ombudsman will only investigate what you ask them to, they don't do a full assessment of the entire situation from scratch).  So it's stressful and time consuming but worth doing.  I am still pulling together evidence for his medical negligence case - that - if I can prove he experienced a brain injury during the birth - could be worth millions and is well worth pursuing.  But we've already tried twice and been unsuccessful so I'm not getting my hopes up.  But it's still worth having another go.

I think a break is coming!  I can see an end in sight to the unpleasantness now and I feel like I'm making my peace with things not working out the way I thought they would.  These two complaints are the last two bits of unpleasantness I have to deal with.  The house is in a reasonable state now.  I have a friend coming to stay next week which will be nice and son is off college now for two weeks and I think that break will do us both good.  I'm really hopeful that next year will start on a more positive note and in a better place for us xx

[lighter]

Major activity around here.... cleaned out garage... both sides, so both vehicles fit nicely.  All the yard stuff, I used all the time, went under the house, which is a crawl space tall enough for sis and I to stand and work in. 

We cleaned out the shed, and moved all work benches, and chairs too.  Now there's tons of counter space, and storage space under the benches.  We're hanging stuff too.... it's clear space to walk.... there was tons of wood leftover from the renovation.  Now it's all sorted... old barnwood from old 2x4s, and such.

There were at least 5 Suburban loads of sad stuff that went to Goodwill.... feels like sunshine blowing through my headspace: )

The yard is in great shape... the 3 foot pile of leaves got rained on then frozen into place  BEFORE the 40 mph winds swept through.  It's still there. 

I'm very happy today, bc I got up at 3pm and solved the stuffing problem... we're having an early Thanksgiving, and there were "issues" with texture, and lack of browning that's been resolved. 

My dog, at the farm got loose, and I found him this morning.  He's fine, even if he had 2 rabies shots this month, darnit.  The shelter that picked him up auto vaccinates, but HE'S BACK!

That's my update.  I likely won't be on much with pick baking, and visiting with family.  Looking forward to seeing my niece and nephew... haven't seen them in a while.  Niece bakes a killer chocolate pie, btw; )

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Wow Lighter, you have been busy!  That is a lot of work.  All in one day?  Amazing.  And pooch!  I'm glad he's back with you.  And that your leaves stayed where they were supposed to   Lol xx

[Hopalong]

Usually don't feel I belong on this thread, but in my fashion, ta-da!

Yesterday was the first day I felt I had any energy since returning from California and getting over the cold. I was up at a reasonable hour, did all my laundry, cleaned my kitchen, did a little decluttering, and rounded it off with actual Marie-Kondo clothes sorting. Purging a few more things to a big bag for the Vets, and obsessively organized my SOCKS into tidy little rolls.

My dresser drawers are all tidy with sorta-Kondo folding. My cedar chest is next; it's just for sweaters and wool things. My closet is tidied, shoes always on the rack these days. Next to come in bedroom are the dresser top (a mess of stacks of books and disorganized bits) and nightmare nightstand.

It really did feel like progress, and an accomplishment. Today back and knee hurt a bit, but not enough to offset the glow. Hope to get both of those things done today.

[Twoapenny]

Usually don't feel I belong on this thread, but in my fashion, ta-da!

Yesterday was the first day I felt I had any energy since returning from California and getting over the cold. I was up at a reasonable hour, did all my laundry, cleaned my kitchen, did a little decluttering, and rounded it off with actual Marie-Kondo clothes sorting. Purging a few more things to a big bag for the Vets, and obsessively organized my SOCKS into tidy little rolls.

My dresser drawers are all tidy with sorta-Kondo folding. My cedar chest is next; it's just for sweaters and wool things. My closet is tidied, shoes always on the rack these days. Next to come in bedroom are the dresser top (a mess of stacks of books and disorganized bits) and nightmare nightstand.

It really did feel like progress, and an accomplishment. Today back and knee hurt a bit, but not enough to offset the glow. Hope to get both of those things done today.

Wow Hops, that is impressive!  Socks in little rolls!  Even I don't do that   Lol, I can picture you sitting cross legged contemplating your tidy drawers now   Lol xx

[lighter]

I like the Kondo folding method of clothing. 

I also like those little plastic things that hold socks in pairs through the wash and dry machine cycles. 

Where do socks go?!?

Lighter