Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
It's a choice, truly. How to handle every moment. A choice.
If we're mindful and maybe lucky too.
Lighter
lighter:
The thing about change is part getting sick of thinking about being sick of repeating unhealthy patterns.....
and familiarity, IME.
Once one understands what's there, it's harder then impossible to go all confused and deny it, IME.
Once one understands what they're looking at, things become very simple, IME.
Choice narrows.
Guilt evaporates and acceptance opens and settles like a sunshade in 100 degree heat...relief.
Once one stops needing people to be (insert adjectives) things become simpler, imo. Time expands and becomes exciting again.
The memory of time trudging along, stuffed with defaults, is fuzzy. Now.
I wonder when it'll drop away and if I'll feel it go or just notice it's not there anymore.
Lighter
lighter:
My brother had a great first lake Airbnb rental. 5 stars all around, very exciting.
I've healed up stronger and more limber for all the work readying the other lake house with my sister. Eating better, movement more fluid, less compensating.
My siblings are incredibly competent and motivated individuals I'm happy to have in my life. I adore my BIL. We're bonding and getting stronger together.....working together. I can't imagine what we can accomplish, if we're all pulling in the same direction. I'm excited to find out!
We all have different strengths.
Lighter
lighter:
My girls are growing up/sometimes grown. It's a process and I'm their touchstone after all the years of fearing I wasn't enough.
I am.....pretty sure....enough.
Seeing the slot in time and place, where I belong....how I fit ....is a relief after years of juggling too much....unexpected much... unbelievable much.
Narrowing my view to MY view, sans other people's opinions of me, my place in the world, their expectations......shuts out the doubt/suffering, IME.
DD21 surprised me happily by digging in and helping with lake house. She chats about future visits with friends and asks what help I need, but taking initiative also. For a while there, I couldn't even talk about the lake with her. She might not be very interested in projects and decorating, but she listens and is patiently honest about it.....now.
Sometimes I see her take brave leaps (fig.) and it worries me a bit.....same with oldest DD. When I view it, sans judgement, I'm relieved they're brave and willing to take chances and commit to choices.
Hopalong:
How does the half-empty nest feel to you, Lighter?
I think that's a tough adjustment, but also liberating.
I hope things continue to go well.
hugs
Hops
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