Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
Honestly, the half empty nests feels very full right now, bc oldest DD and her roommate have begun family dinner/game night Sundays. They seek my help with their apartment and the helping/teaching makes my brain feel like chips and ice cream are involved, but aren't.....the girls are eating healthy and hitting the gym twice weekly.
Youngest DD is usually home, and baby girl pug is against my ankle ...or the small of my back.
I'm looking forward to putting together a tool kit for oldest DD....like my father did fo r me. There's relief in being father and mother....without guilt creeping in.
We're all doing our best and guilt sucks, Hops.
Lighter
lighter:
I'm feeling overtly full, read that as medicating with food, while working in the dark, power outage for 50 homes, putting together healthy frozen meals, provided the power comes back soon, for our mailman who just had shoulder surgery with a reaction to pain meds creating jaw infection requiring emergency surgery.
And I'm waiting for my Tylenol to kick in, washed down with a beer.... headaches are every other day, lately.
Will get a shower......seems God wants me to stop what I'm doing, so here goes....
Will attempt to emdr myself through and out the other side of processing a traumatic family gathering and the meetings with army corps of engineers woven through that gathering.
I'll try to write out the family situation calmly, as 3 attempts turned into content not fit for the board.
:getting shower::..
lighter:
Dropped food for mailman and he was woozy, having trouble standing/focusing.
I was ready to put the food away, do a 10 minute tidy and get on road for planned trip with youngest DD.
Mailman blocked my ...the nerve! bc house waa "a mess."
Ok....but I was standing in trash from his bear attacked garbage in torn white bags and.....where were his trash bins, I asked, bc this was a 10 minute tidy I could massage my brain with for days.
No bins.🫨
Mailman usually takes trash to the post office, but he's a week post op and the bears have taken full charge for him.
::sigh::.
I just completed 2 important tasks and have time to help with this.....my trash runs tomorrow and 3 neighbors have almond st empty bins so transporting the mess is the only problem and.....
I'm pulling back, observing my motives and I notice I made promises to "help" a month ago. I didn't say how, but somewhere inside my brain he deserves food, metamucil, a clean up and a few check ins, generally.
I've been burdened with trash problems and my first instinct is to leave the mess. Then I remember mailman's eyes rolling around in his head and compassion....is this compassion or something else? and trash clean up goes back on the list.
I recognize my brain gets scratched when performing acts of service. That's a truth. What does it cost me to help today with the trash? Time with DD as she poo acks costumes.
That's it. I'm going home and mm's trash will get dealt with eventually by someone else.
I did enough and even if it's not ok, to my brain, it's ok.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
(((((((((Lighter)))))))))))))
The family situation, whatever it was that happened there, sounds like it was grim and hasn't done you a world of good. I hope whatever it was that happened is done with and isn't going to keep you in a spin for a long time. And that it doesn't happen again.
Mailman - yes, leave the bins. I have to do a lot of advance planning and prepping for all sorts of things, because it's just me and that's that. Surgery would involve, for me, at the very least, filling the freezer with quick and easy meals (either by cooking in advance or buying in ready frozen. And that can be done post surgery if the surgery isn't planned, online order, he could even just order fifteen of the same ready meal and have cereal and toast the rest of the time). If he's daft enough to put rubbish bags out in an area where there are bears, well honestly I think he's lucky they just made a mess. Order some bins, get someone else to take them, keep them somewhere in the house until they can be dropped off. Other options. As for blocking your way - honestly, I think you need to put an embargo on any kind of assistance for any man, it always seems to get unpleasant in some way. He's a grown adult, he can sort himself out. Sounds like you've got more than enough of your own stuff to deal with at the moment. I hope you get some time to focus on you and start working through whatever it was the family stuff involved xx
lighter:
Thanks, Tupp. The problem involves addiction of an extended family member's spouse. He's a medically wet brained alcoholic (WBA)....so horrifyingly ....sad/revolting/disturbing. I'm experiencing unfamiliar high pitched gagging while brushing my teeth.
::erasing erasing erasing post...again::.
I'll spare you the details.
It's very not good and never again.
Never.
Lighter
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