Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
I'm trusting, Hops. And working to chop up huge limbs I can't drag to the debris pile. That's this morning 's mission. I want to be dealing with the garage by this afternoon. Halloween waits for no man.
I'm shockingly not sore, btw. My muscles feel full ....not stiff, if that makes sense.
Met 2 grandchildren of backyard neighbors yesterday. The 2 yo, Damian, was so smart and fast, but who makes their kid Damian? Just all over the place, the pug and his 8yo sister/caretaker with his imaginary "scary" rhino horn .....so cute.
We caught a run away hound dog, hooked a swing to him then watched him and the pug hopelessly tangle it all up. I was trying to order Coraline 3-D tickets, got that wrong, gave up and let the hound drag me around while waiting for his family to come get him. Everytime I stopped, he'd do make his piercing houndog sound.....I wasn't nice in my all caps "come get your loud energetic dog now!" text. Wasn't happy when they showed, bc pug broke loose and circled their car trying to get run over...had to catch her. Not gonna lie.....so exhausted after getting very little yard work done. Wasn't my plan.
When I got back to the yard, I saw the new mum with her cute toddler and had to turn my back.......I so wanted to cuddle that little guy.
I'd spent an hour talking to Cowgirl...the day wasn't meant for mindful industry.
I did manage to clear one and a half side yards and the moss was pushed and scrunched by the storm water, like fabric, on the high side. I'm feeling blessed to tend to it though.
Amazing weather. Prefer the rain...I enjoy solitude when it rains. Most people stay indoors....not me.
Managed to correct my movie ticket order and make dinner for us and dear sweet neighbors. Was very yummy.
Lighter
lighter:
Amber, I sent contact info for JA. He's expecting a call from you or B.
Will hav lots of info and I'm praying things get back on track soon.
Lighter
lighter:
Therapy appointment went like this:
Discussed current events. T believes the Vertigo is a protector part. Asked how I feel towards it .....
Fear.
T requested I ask the fear to sit in the waiting room so I could deal with the vertigo.
When I have internal dialogue, it's silent and my eyes are closed......usually takes a minute. The fear moved to the left, but wasn't feeling happy about it.
T had me ask vertigo what she was trying to say. "She took me out" was the response."
T said that made sense, to remove me from the people and direct stress around me.... she said cancer can work the same way.
I didn't make bites, so this is a very loose account.
I asked vertigo what she needed......she was facing me.....them moved up and over my head.....behind me and I knew she meant....
"If you step up, I'll step back.". If I stop taking on stress and limiting the chaos, In can limit.... she'll stop forcing me to stop and deal with it.
I made an appointment next week to work on vertigo with T. T said she was so glad, bc a part of her has summit fever and wants to get me through it .....but she didn't press or ask to do it with me. Had to be my choice.
While we did this work.....when I addressed vertigo, T asked me to find the place in my body where I felt vertigo.....
Eyes...
Top of head....
Below solar plexus.
I was asked to go inside and find....forget her words, but find ball of light.....warmth ...and that was in chest moving the below solar plexus....where it stayed.
The light is me.... I wish I'd taken notes while fresh. The light is same source as the sun..... I'm my observer mode and everything is is just passing through.....like wind through a screen door.
That's remain in observer mode....take nothing personally means I notice all my wounded and protective parts so I can tend to them, ask them to become allies ....they all belong and trying to run from them, push them away just makes them angry/frantic/ more upset.
Everyone has these parts.....T shared her 20 year's sobriety journey. She had a protective part that wanted to drink to protect her from pain attached stemming from shame. She no longer feels that part come forward ...she dealt with it and it's at peace now.
Everything comes back to being present inside the body in observer mode so one may identify other people's stuff.... whatever that is, and to find out parts and tend to them when we're reactive.
I assume next week will involve much EMDR.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Lots to unpack, Lighter, hopefully it's helped/shifted some things a little and it will make the day to day running of things a bit easier to deal with as time goes on xx
lighter:
I'm curious if next session helps the vertigo situation, for sure, Tupp.
Lighter
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version