Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
I woke up, made coffee, walked the pug and experienced such clarity this morning.
The shift to immersion in nature, pug, stretching and walking....
vs
Readying an FU deployment, should one of my, very human, neighbors is inappropriate, again.
I ticked through morning ablution, sans auto-armoring up, preparing mentally, making sure I had something....a pen/phone in my hand.....and just enjoyed the rain soaked moss, hydrangeas and cool morning.
That's the switch ... th stay grounded in the food things, while gliding over the stupid and harmful things, bc they win if I'm stuck thinking about them.
And I noticed what's in those spaces, instead.
"Sitting in non judgemental awareness" is the shift? Is part of the shift? Feels like the thing, that's really 100K small choices in a day, firming and making up new defaults.
But one must notice first.
Yesterday was completely angst free walking,c working, covering over massive pile of dog mess, Neighbor's leaf pile, mdm several smaller piles on the trails and other lead pile.....zero emotional charge to it. New. A relief.
The real challenge will be noticing charge/lack of charge when BGP snarfs the top off a leaf look gob of poop, or I slide through another pile, esp in my yard.
::breathing::.
I wonder if this is where the saying ..
"Don't sweat the small shite," came from?
Someone identifying an old reactivity default overlaying their present....and refusing to suffer twice about it.
Bc that's how it feels, to feel it, and put it down .. no tapping on the shoulder, again and again. Just, have it, and notice it dissipate and quiet. Leave neutral space, rather than continue filling space with resentment, frustration and anger.
And there's justified anger when people leave dog mess in public places/private yards, etc. But it shouldn't be in a day, or pop up, like a demented jack-in-the-box, unbidden, throughout a person's daily life, IME.
Nobody needs that.
And in that open space, I seek out more joy with my 3 girls. More singing, dancing, cooking, talking, laughing and bouncing logistics around.......checking in.
For a bit, it was overwhelming to think about ....but it's rolled forward, smoothed out and taken shape ......
girly girls ...
Renovation....
Readying lake for weddings ..
Upcoming family visit and travel for our if State wedding in 2 months.
I'm enjoying discussions with cousins over decorations and rustic serving pieces, vases, cupcake and nut vessels.
Enjoying 90% research, 10% execution on my considerations.
I notice editing my house didn't make the list. Hmmmm.🫣
Lighter
Hopalong:
What about a sweetly-phrased, friendly sign about "Please pick up your dog's poop and THANKS!" instead of silently simmering? Including a little stash of poop bags on a stick?
I saw a bunch of those on Amazon and thought how clever they were. Not confrontational, just gently asking for an "we all live here together" vibe. ("Kill
'em with kindness, dontcha know....").
hugs
Hops
"
lighter:
Hops: The kind of people, who leave dog mess on other people's property, aren't the kind who bother picking up dog mess, IME. Ever. They can't bend over/see OR they figure the rain will wash it away, no big deal, IME. I know people who say these things out loud. Not bad people. Just people who hold piggy beliefs around their dog's messes, and not feeling responsible for them.
Gently suggesting, they become people who care, is wasted effort, IME.
I'm happier, accepting their piggy ways, sans needing them to change.
It's the way it's always been.....some clean up messes. Some are little piggies.
And....
Killing people with kindness. I still do, some, but it's not on auto pilot anymore.
My inner gremlin wants to rise up.....perhaps BE the person some neighbors think I am. Ya.
People aren't used to me creating chaos, just bc I can. I wonder if it would feel like freedom......and/or release....to BE that gremlin? Well.....just saying their embarrassing truths, out loud, would feel like being a gremlin, I suppose. Will see.
Curiosity, replacing judgement, is an interesting thing, IME.
Lately ......the urge to bark ....
"You should have known better" and "Let that be a lesson to you," when dumb stuff comes up, is on the tip of my dismissive tongue. Wag my finger at them, maybe, but with humor. There's very little emotional charge involved lately, if any. I simply don't care.....and it's revelation!!!
Not sure, but it's a balm to "consider the source, and dismiss."
Yup yup yup.
DD22 and I enjoy barking....
"I simply don't care about that!" And, just like that, freedom and release arrive. It's a celebration every time.
DD24 pretty much rolls that way. So did my mother.
Lighter
lighter:
I use the hummingbirds like little mindful gongs......
they're my gentle reminder to return to mindfulness practice......
little buzzy monks, they are.
This morning, I've begun merging my current backyard with my tomato garden/happy place backyard. Like they're connected. Not sure what happened there, but I sit on back porch, to begin day. I think it's a byproduct of choosing to ignore the neighbors, and lean into the peace and privacy available, instead.
I still experience some energetic pull, to resolve some of the "problems."
It's very familiar......like parenting with toxic, selfish people, but the wife of the Yelly Guy is the child, in this case.
And ....there are times it's easy ....I feel a mile above the distractions.....they simply feel like a grain of sand on a beach .....are nothing.
That's the good stuff, imo. When distractions fade and joy steps up, consistently.... pathways are truly under construction🪷
Lighter
::constructing text to Retired Nurse neighbor...including Yelly Guy apology text,😀admitting what he did, forgiveness for inviting him into our yards, and maybe for sleeping with him/a married man?::.
It's under construction!
lighter:
It's funny to me.....now. The idea of gently chiding retired nurse for sleeping with the married Yelly Guy neighbor..... honestly...funnily absurd and refreshing to put something, so brazenly chaotic, out there......
on the chaos creators....instead of being on the receiving end, for once.
Once I'm up here....above it, not taking it personal or serious.....not buying in, even a little....I see.....I get nothing from creating chaos.
Those creating chaos, get something from it,. I don't have to figure it out. Don't have to care. I don't care. It's enough to understand how it works and put it down. Turn away.
Do what I do. Understand why. Play my game, not someone else's.
There are so many lovely things to enjoy in my yard. I'll stay up here, above the intentional chaos......where joy lives.
Once I drop the rope, the tension and energy seems to dissipate. The chaos creators seem to lose......
::sigh::.
seem to lose their steam. They soften.....behave more appropriately.
Has it always been their stuff rubbing against my stuff? Energy meeting energy?
Withdrawal of all energy, is a choice. Will take practice.
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