Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
No, Amber, not referring to left-right hemispheres in this case.
It's more bottom to top, top to bottom thing.
The 6 layered neocortex (most advanced and evolutionarily young part of human brains), is present in mammals, and derived from the 3 layer cortex found in all modern reptiles..... what we think of as lower brain/survival brain.
Reptiles don't have a neocortex, and that's why we refer to the cortex as a "reptilian brain".... our fight/flight/fawn mode, survival brain, etc.
The neocortex is especially prominent in humans, and is where higher-level functioning and cognitive ability are located... our higher brain evolved over time, and was formed around the lower brain....T refers to this as top-down thinking when we have access to our neocortex.
Lower reptilian brain is lightening fast, and responsible for survival. The amygdala is responsible for determining if danger or crisis is present... this happens in 50 milliseconds... I think. Thoughts take 500 miliseconds to process... I'm pretty sure, so we can't possibly catch the amygdala BEFORE we get hijacked by fear, old reactive patterns, etc. This is bc the amygdala reacts to save our lives... like TIGERRUNFASTANDFARNOW! You know when you jump 3 feet off the trail when you think you see a stick that looks a bit like a snake? That's the amygdala in action.
Thinking brain... our neocortex higher brain might wonder if we SEE stripes in the jungle, or if that's really a rattle snake about to strike us in the face, kwim? That's why the amygdala is so fast, and why it shuts down pathways to the neocortex... just BAM! Shut down, and done before we have a moment to process anything about stripes or snake shapes, or a piece of moss that looks like a big spider perched on one's forearm, kwim? There are times I can't work in the yard bc I THOUGHT a spider or centipede or snake was ON ME, and then I get more and more jumpy till all joy is gone, so I give up for a while.
We need access to our neocortex logical problem solving skills and creativity to figure out what's truth, and what's not when faced with crisis vs perceived crisis in the brain.
BC reptilian brain doens't have access to those higher functions, we have to engage the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS). PSN shuts down our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS).... fight or flight response. It restores pathways to our neocortex.
Left Right activities like walking, patting our shoulders left right left right, softly, as in soothing a baby..... EMDR (quick movement of hand in front of eyes...) engages left right brain hemisphere through the corpus callosum, strengthening brain integration. Improved brain integration makes it easier to relieve the pressure on the part of the brain that's been activated with memories of old trauma/fear/danger.... the emotions and sensations around that old trauma feel very REAL, despite the fact we're no longer IN REAL DANGER. Any relief of stress, and ability to engage access to other parts of the brain is helpful to allow the brain to finish processing, which it is very good at when given the chance.
::uncrossing eyes::. That looks so confusing to read. Sorry.
Everyone has different ways of soothing, and calming themselves. I'm learning different ways to sneak up UNDERNEATH the alarm bells, and unhook them with mindful breathing, nonjudgmental focused attention, or physical actions that help me use those things if I'm too upset in the moment to focus at all. I haven't been able to understand all the pieces of information I've learned up to meeting this T. She's explained things so I can make sense of the bits and pieces, and actually utilize them. It makes sense to me.
Not judging the fight or flight reactivity response as negative helps me calm myself more easily, or stops escalation that might otherwise take place, making it more difficult to calm myself.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Dang words... LOL... they're so - dry & dead & incomplete - trying to talk about sensory or neural experiences. I tend to oversimplify/overgeneralize because it seems so impossible to me to find the right words to convey what I really MEAN. (hence, pictures for me to express things)
I hear what you're saying Light; understand. I don't disagree. In fact that paragraph you thought looked confusing, made a LOT of sense to me. You're able to describe in specific detail - which is appreciated! - what I've reduced to symbolic code for myself. My "shorthand".
I do know, how it FEELS to do both things. Like balancing a bike through curves or taking a jump with it... (PSN vs SN)... so I definitely feel those experiences in my body. And just do them. Noting the difference in how they feel. Even though it's often on "auto-pilot".
It's just fascinating me, how we can all experience and talk about the same thing - while perceiving it different ways and processing it differently too. That's pretty danged cool.
Hopalong:
An aside, but maybe it's "directer" than I think:
I think that a whoooole lot of things we can struggle with, such as:
--not asserting ourselves peacefully
--allowing boundary invasions
--not communicating clearly expectations/requirements
--enduring/tolerating hostile, destructive, or inappropriate behavior
...can come down to something waaaaay deep inside, which is that we just want so badly to be certain that we are GOOD. Cerebrally, we know we are. But way down in there's a default shame-setting that I think affects us for a very long time, after certain kinds of childhoods.
So when others have needs, emotions, problems...we need so badly to know that we are GOOD, that we forget on the spot all this stuff:
--asserting ourselves peacefully
--not permitting boundary invasions
--communicating clearly our expectations/requirements
--not tolerating hostile, destructive, or inappropriate behavior
I think we all need to know that we ARE good. We're not faking it. Even if we've sometimes done bad, we ARE good at the core. Daily loving self-acceptance....
hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
I appreciate your responses above Lighter. I'm going to read & re-read a couple of times. Ponder & seek within.
We ARE different people; and we've both experienced different kinds of things - even if there are some basics in common. And I'm happy to talk about things from your understanding, and then review my own... and see where we're saying the same things - and where we can maybe switch on a light bulb for each other. Maybe there's some overlap; some things distinctly different; and maybe we'll both see something new, too.
Saying more now, would be premature I think. Need to do "my thing" with my statements versus your questions and feedback... and see if something jumps out and says: HEY YOU, over here! I got yer answers over here, lady...
LOL.
lighter:
Hi Hops:
Thank you for that very simple, and helpful post. It was timely, and so appreciated.
Amber: I'm spinning from unexpected, very scary news... late father's caretaker's 12yo grandson was dx'd with childhood leukemia yesterday morning. He's in ICU at Scottish Rite, which is an hour and a half from where they live.
I was spinning around that whole situation when I posted to you. No need to reply.
Update:
Late father's caretaker/the Grandma in this, is remaining in the US instead of leaving for 3 months on a planned trip. I was gobsmacked by her plan to continue forward, under the circumstances. I didn't know what it meant.
They have a formal dx of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, which they're told can be cured. He'll be in the hospital for 21 days for treatments, then released for ongoing periodic treatments.
I'm so happy this is the best possible prognosis they could receive.
Lighter
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