Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
Twoapenny:
I'm sorry it's got chaotic, Lighter. No good deed goes unpunished, as the saying goes - unfortunately I've had my fingers burnt many times when helping people who, as you say, create drama wherever they go. I think for some the drama is a necessary way of coping - they can't deal with the internal issues (understandably) so they create something external to focus on instead (I did it myself for years). Not consciously, but something inside just goes off, I think. Have you got a date yet for him to move on? I hope things settle down a bit and the new place is ready for him soon. Focus on the laundry room - you sounded so enthused about getting that done and getting your stuff organised so I hope this doesn't derail things too much for you xx
Hops the fire pit sounds great and I hope you can get it lit soon! xx
lighter:
Tupp:
I purchased a new dryer vent, tape, elbow and clamps this morning. Once I paint and get flooring down I'll hook dryer up temporarily till17th. It's raining. We had a tiny food last night. We need the dryer today.
About good deeds.....I know this is the first living situation F has ever been in where gentle communication and boundaries are present.
It's probably good he's exposed to this odd form of language, even if you can see it hurts to land on his ears....maybe worse than screaming.
F did get antsy. He did sabotage, but at least he we welcomed to join sane, serene space in community, so it's in his heart too.
I asked he be moved ASAP with a Monday deadline....and I'm ok with that.
Right now F is silent and not texting me back.I'm about to open stainblocker and get dirty while hoping fresh white paint, over old yellowing paint, will lift my heart.
I think everyone does some self sabotaging, btw. We learn through mistakes. I hope F takes some positive things when he goes.
This too shall pass.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
The white paint will do wonders, as will being able to get things dry! Yep, a tough road for some, self sabotage is something I know far more about that I would like and it's painful to watch kids push back against the people or things that could help them. But it's a path that has to be walked, I guess. I can remember going to a friend's house for tea when I was young - probably about ten? And her parents were so nice to each other and their kids, their house was so calm and friendly, everything about it was so good - and it felt so wrong to me, it was like nothing I'd ever known. So yep, I can imagine that the current situation has been a big shift for him. Good that the new place is ready quickly, though, and maybe as things settle with him he'll be able to maintain friendship with D and be part of your extended circle. I'll keep my ears peeled for more laundry room updates! xx
sKePTiKal:
Lighter, projects like the laundry room are starting to feel like "presents to myself". Even washing woodwork or the mundane dusting, vacumning, decluttering... just FEELS better to me. I'm really into a "less is more" phase right now and the amount of knick-knacks and trinkets I have around me feel like lead weights around the perimeter of a net thrown over me.
I'm moving more forcefully into functional art - ie, beautifully crafted functional items and only what I USE on a regular basis.
The completion of the bedroom work is still going S L O W. I need the electrician next and he didn't call me back last week. Then I can do the trim... and maybe find some tiny swiveling or flexible reading lights to mount on that trim board on the inside of the inset. (I haven't forgotten about pictures; just had fires to put out - metaphorically speaking.)
lighter:
Amber:
I'm right there with you decluttering and curating lovely handmade things for daily use.
I will call moss friend to help organize and edit, bc I need that help.
Another neighbor is cutting and installing crown in laundry room today. I'll be taking notes and lessons so I can do it myself next time.
Yesterday my sis and I placed moss around his lovely 100 gallon pond. We also put big healthy water hyacinth and lettuce in...changed the entire look and feel of it!
I really enjoy helping neighbor's and receiving help and this is the neighbor who brought me 2 huge lawn bags of roof moss from a friend's house.
All good: )
Lighter
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version