Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
I hear you, CB.
When I think about my arm, I'm reminded of a friend who fell down her starirs and did enough nerve damage to completely paralyze her arm..... it just hung there, pitifully, long enough to begin wasting away. After many months, she began to have twitches, which the doctor said were hopeful and she felt she'd get control of her arm back, little by little.
I have complete control of my arm, no pain, except when I use ti a particular way...... it's all there, but I dinged it hard..... think abot what a little knock against the doorframe does to a funnybone. I'm not surprised things are upset in there, but I promise to go to my favorite Sona Clinic and get it looked at.... bc of your post.
My niece injured her wrist a couple years back and has some clicking, sort of like the clicking in my elbow. We can't figure out what the clicking is but she did go to the hospital and her bf;s dad is a doc who watched the wrist carefully and they still don't know what the problem was, exacly. All they can say is the bone isn;t broken. I know my bone isn't bro.....
OK, I'm going; )
Lighter
lighter:
I'm spending more time examining my belief systems, which is easier in some areas than others, not gonna lie.
It's an excercise in being authentic....that's how it feels right now.
Yesterday my T asked me what I'd wake and do for work this morning if I could magically blink myself through training/education in any area I wanted to work in. I said renovating properties but that just might be bc building and renovation properties is something I and my family need done. I'm not sure if that would be my pick IF we didn't need so much of it.
My girls asswered the same question last night over dinner under cloudy skies and the greenest trees possible... such a breezy perfect evening to dine outside.
DD21 said she's considering med school again, bc the doc she works for quizzes her about eye health and care and is amazed at dd's knowledge and competency. She enoys the attention and admiration from someone she admires. It's nice.
Youngest dd blurted out she'd be a comedian and it made perfect sense. She's very funny and knows it.
The journey continues.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Thanks, Lighter (for your reply on "Anything" -- felt like I was hijacking Mouse's thread so scooted over here). I don't think I'll suspend all socializing, but a group indoors? Maybe. Depends on case counts. Not worried, still got the firepit for fall, too!
I neglected to ask you -- what was the xray result for your arm? You promised CB!
And to say, how lovely it was to read about your DDs -- the one showing such competence and a sound life dream, the other taking joy in making people laugh. That must feel sooo good.
Hope all is well. I've had a very quiet couple weeks, the estimate for the patio the only bad spot but I've made peace with it. Cancelled two vacays (a weekend to NC and a week at beach in Oct.) which hurt, but also feels responsible and necessary. I may be drawing some fractional hope from the Jan. 6 hearings, second one today at 10am. As a child post-WWII I had such faith in our nation and government (I guess because of Dad's service, memories of walking down the halls of the Pentagon with him in summers). Just seeing our adult reps present facts and evidence in a clear and somber fashion is a relief. No guarantees of anything except that one day, real history will be written with integrity by some. Went back and watched All the President's Men again and was so moved by it. Journalistic integrity and truth. (And young Robert Redford, who could help any medicine go down....).
Neighbor brought over some spare plants and put them in my planters for me, very lovely of her. This is a time of year when even from indoors, I enjoy the light very much. So golden. Deer are sleeping beside the Prius, which I enjoy too, although they'll eat everything they can reach, including planters!
Must wash birdbaths. Crows have flown elsewhere but there's still a lot of bird action here. I'm grateful for the sounds, the soft air, and all the light. Fresh eggs delivery today too.
hugs
Hops
lighter:
Hmmm.. I had fresh eggs delivered last night by the local tree frogs. There are 3 containers of tadpoles on front porch and it's odd a second round of egg laying took so many weeks... usually there are daily deposits, but not this season. I think there's am aquatic frog or something eating the tadpoles and the tree frogs know. I can't wait to have little tiny frogs appearing like magic. It's like watching little fairies appear.
My arm isn't broken, just sprained badly and when you think about whacking your elbow lighty on a doorjamb, with the electric shock and pain and all that goes with... it makes sense slamming my arm onto thinly carpteted concrete from stool height would mess with an elbow. I sprained this poor thing badly..... feel it might take another week of healing..... I think most take about a month to heal. Mine will be about 6..... it's putting pressure on it at certain angles that still bugs me, otherwise it feels quite normal most of the time. Trying to let it heal and not keep reinjuring it..... so difficult to do!
I've seen the accupuncturist twice and he's reduced the pain and stiffness markedly each time. I see him again tomorrow...will try to find some way to calm myself chemically as I'll be asking him to be VERY agressive.... that means he moves the needles around which feels like having electricity shot through my pressure points and feet and who knows what as he'll also be working on shoulders.
I took youngest dd last accupuncture appt and tht was a train wreck.... her ADD had her climbing the walls and we giggled and talked like children who honestly know better but can't help themselves.
::shaking head::
DD said she might go back, but it's unlikely.
It's time to work on Lake House again. I can't wait any longer and there's a hydrangia needs planting as well. The doc prescribed compression and ice, which did help then some time with rehab center, which my nieghbor's son owns.... is just around the corner, so that's an easy piece to deal with.
Sorry your patio is problematic, but relieved you figured it out and got on with it.
My stressed liver stopped sending itchy bumps to my skin as SOS. I stopped the Advil and drank tons of water.... accupuncture guy S put needles in the top of my left foot to deal with that on the first appointment.
I can actually FEEL it in my left (injured) elbow when S moves needles around in my right knee.... and he goes for the painful pressure points and just explores. The last visit he had to unhook my right claw from the chair, which clued him into the fact I'm not good with needles or the discomfort of the process. The first time he started with my arm so I hadn't quite dug my fingernails into the chair when he moved on to the legs and feet. He started with my feet this time.... oh.... that R knee.... the one I had ACL replacement with the scars and such..... whew boy. It felt like he went right for the areas involved.... just freaking myself out here, so will move on.
Ahem.
To being more careful with our minds and bodies, Hops!
I'm glad you're living without fear. I'm glad you have lovely memories with your father and faith the system eventually works, however flawed.
Lighter
Hopalong:
I've had acupuncture. Really liked the effect. Wish insurance covered it, I'd go back.
So you never got that scan? I hope all is well and it'll heal fast.
I keep wanting to challenge stuff, and probably should put a sock in it. Still:
The Lake House is standing and you don't HAVE to do anything while injured.
A hydrangea CAN be planted by someone else, rather than you while injured.
That kinda thinking. But you may be happiest with that edge of performance. I'm sure you can handle whatever you decide to put your body through.
I can't say anything useful about that, unfortunately. My body is tolerating me at the mo' and for now, feels pretty good. Not strong, but not freaking out.
Hang in and heal,
Hops
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