Garden

[lighter]

I finally broke down and ordered some fabric pots for the tomatoes.  There will be (5) 20gallon pots and (5) 15 gallon pots, so the 8 tomato plants and 4 watermelon plants will fill them up.  My neighbor has full sun all day long next to his house,  which is why I'm doing the fabric pots.  I don't want to till up his yard. 

Pots should be here Wednesday.

I thought about making cool birdbaths today. Instead of working on them, I worked on limbing up trees and cutting suckers off.  I'm exhausted and fatigued.  Will sleep well tonight and dream of beautiful bird baths to come: )

Lighter 

[lighter]

I got the tomato plants out of the too shady garden and INTO the fabric pots this weekend. 

There was a large bag of Pete Moss, and a big block of Coconut Coir to hydrate and mix in with regular potting soil and fertilizer.  THIS job was much harder and more difficult, not to mention time-consuming, than I thought it would be. 

At the end of it I was fatigued, and limping....  something in my left hip was super unhappy.... ANNNND 4 mixes later, I didn't have enough mix to fill all 10 pots..... 2 twenty gallon pots were left empty. I have everything planted I needed to pot.   7 tomatoes and 4 watermelon plants.   There are 3 things planted together in two 20 gallon pots. 

Everything but the tallest tomato plant looks pretty good... everything plumping back up and appearing healthy.  The top of that one tomato plant hasn't plumped, though the rest of it looks great.   How does that happen, do'ya think?  Nothing appears broken or badly bent,  btw.

We planted peppers, onions, squashes, a cabbage, and more tomato plants in the nearby fenced in garden located right next to where I moved my tomato plants. 

Apparently we can grow lettuces, beans and things that grow in the ground in my shadier garden area.  My beans are looking great.  I'll have beautiful snow pea greens for sauteeing soon. 

Lighter

[Meh]

Sounds lovely in spite of the limping. I've got four very sad looking tomato plants in a box, I think they've been transplanted too many times and it's been cold here so far. Oh well.

I've had tomato seeds come up on their own in the past (no transplanting), when they want to grow they find a way to do it. The soil they were in didn't look to great but they loved it. Sort of a dry almost clay-ish looking dusty soil.

There is some advice to snip the first flowers off a tomato, then there is advice to let the first flowers be as they are. I'm not sure what is right or wrong, it would take some sort of controlled experiment I think. In the end it's probably just a matter of HEAT and light that is so important.

[Hopalong]

I have this funny red mulch plastic someone gave me, that's perforated with tiny holes to let water through. Apparently tomato plants are crazy about red spectrum light, and it increases yield 20-30 percent. My tomatoes are growing like crazy with it so this must be true!

G if you think of it, please let me know what you've found out about flower-pinching. Or not pinching.

Thanks,
Hops

[lighter]

I pinched the first flowers on my peppers and tomato plants....  so the energy could go to forming stronger roots. 

About the red spectrum light and mulch with holes in it..... I'd like to see some info on that mulch.  Fascinating, stuff.

::nod::.

A lady gave me a really amazing old shabby chic light fixture, then threw in a 2 foot tall potato plant in a green grow bag.  That was an amazing day yesterday, yup yup yup.  I think I'll put the light in the she shed when I get to that project; )

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Red Plastic Mulch is primarily used on tomatoes for an early harvest. According to researchers at Cornell and Clemson universities, when tomatoes are grown on red mulch they have higher yields, stronger stems and ripen earlier. Research has also found that red mulch reduces nematode damage.

Have fun!
Hopw

[Twoapenny]

The garden sounds lovely, Lighter, and so does the light fixture!  I love it when people just give you random stuff xx

[lighter]

OK, Tupp.

It feeeels like I'm meeting people who dwell on my wave length lately.

I have the new moss friend, who's put herself on my T's waitlist,btw. 

I reconnected with an old friend, who used to be my very best friend.   That was amazing and I'm just embracing and feeling the warmth and letting it be what it is.  She's giving me space, but we've been laughing, just like the old days.  The humor and ease are flowing between us again.   

The gal with the potato plant and amazing light fixture.... usually I treat other people that way.  It feels like the universe has shifted off a door it was resting on.  And the door is opening.  It's feels like breathing out a long stale breath I've been holding in tensely for so very long.  And now it's out, and there's room for fresh air.. more air.... clean air.

It feels like I've finally relaxed my abs... just let them relax after a lifetime of tensing.  That started in childhood... not sure when. 

I've moved away from the neighbors who live 2 doors down.  Not something I planned.  I just didn't go anymore, or just popped in and out when I felt like it and that's OK too. 

I feel like there's going to be time, and space, for whatever comes next.... that whatever it is will help me understand the last 15 years.

And the last 15years will help me understand what comes next.

::nod::

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

OK, Tupp.

It feeeels like I'm meeting people who dwell on my wave length lately.

I have the new moss friend, who's put herself on my T's waitlist,btw. 

I reconnected with an old friend, who used to be my very best friend.   That was amazing and I'm just embracing and feeling the warmth and letting it be what it is.  She's giving me space, but we've been laughing, just like the old days.  The humor and ease are flowing between us again.   

The gal with the potato plant and amazing light fixture.... usually I treat other people that way.  It feels like the universe has shifted off a door it was resting on.  And the door is opening.  It's feels like breathing out a long stale breath I've been holding in tensely for so very long.  And now it's out, and there's room for fresh air.. more air.... clean air.

It feels like I've finally relaxed my abs... just let them relax after a lifetime of tensing.  That started in childhood... not sure when. 

I've moved away from the neighbors who live 2 doors down.  Not something I planned.  I just didn't go anymore, or just popped in and out when I felt like it and that's OK too. 

I feel like there's going to be time, and space, for whatever comes next.... that whatever it is will help me understand the last 15 years.

And the last 15years will help me understand what comes next.

::nod::

Lighter

Oh my God, Lighter, that sounds amazing, I'm so happy for you!  Meeting people on your wavelength is such a huge thing and yes, being on the receiving end of the sort of thoughtfulness and kindness you usually give out is so encouraging and so welcome!  And such a big change when you're used to giving and then kind of having to give a bit more.  Oh wow.  And yes, quietly dropping away from people without a big drama in your head, it's so nice when it can just kind of happen rather than you having to think and analyse and wrestle with whether or not it should.  So nice to just be.  And relaxing those abs.  Yep, I get that feeling, although with me it's the chest.  But it's the same feeling, of sucking something in and holding it.  And to be able to let that go.  Aw, I'm so happy for you, this is such a nice step forward xx

[lighter]

I forgot to mention another amazing friend... the one who went through the inpatient mental health center..... SHE's so on my wavelength right now.  We bounce stuff off each other,  and learn and understand more deeply the concepts we've been moving through.

So that's my old best friend, back...the new moss friend, who's on vacation right now.
The friend I mentioned first, above, was really my Sister's friend in high school, but it turns out we're creative spirits interested deeply in the same things.... and healing ourselves and always spent time in the family BEING healers, trying to be, anyway. 
Scapegoated, to some extent.  People benefitting from our time and efforts, but refusing to acknowledge or be thankful or even admit there are good qualities...  just noticing what they feel are negative qualities and peeping up about those, while being dismissive or resentful about the positive things they weren't doing or even noticing SHOULD be on someone's to do list.... mostly not even OUR to do list.

What is it about people like that... I'm talking about myself now... that   
go above and beyond, pick up other people's obligations and DO DO DO, while being criticized and judged BAD, with evil intentions... and yet we continue DOING.

What is that about?  It's a ME problem.  It's something I..
volunteered for.

That's not cool. 

That's a thing.

That's... maybe part of everything.

I wonder why I did that.  Why I'm still compelled to think in those terms.

Why people are often so ugly about it and why I didn't call that ugliness what it was.  I guess I didn't know what it was.  Couldn't speak to it, bc it wasn't something I understood, and......

earnestness.

I think I'm putting the earnest bit down next.   

 

Lighter

[Hopalong]

I think sometimes when people help or rescue, even when the help is useful and valuble, then the helpee feels shame. Shame they can't own (most painful emotion there is).

So maybe sometimes the nasties weren't showing appreciation (or even flipping to meanness) because some part of themselves couldn't receive with grace, accept help, be vulnerable. Shame.

I don't know if this relates, but when M breezily says "Oh I'll come vacuum your house" and because, in his case, he makes such a huge production out of any help he gives (which draws the spotlight back to him, making the production even more operatic) -- I cringe inside. I'd rather sit here in my dirty house and feel miserable than have his hyper-efficiency and productivity unleashed in the direction of my dignity, which is wobbly enough already.

Dunno if the shame idea connects but it's what came up...

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Well, I am mulling that over, Hops.

It helps to see things from the perspective of others. 

Lighter

[Meh]

Hops: "making the production even more operatic) -- I cringe inside. I'd rather sit here in my dirty house and feel miserable than have his hyper-efficiency and productivity unleashed in the direction of my dignity, which is wobbly enough already."

I'm just laughing Hops it's hilarious, your description of it, my mental vision of the scene. I'm sure it's not a funny predicament, it's just that you crack me up.

Though I don't get why people make a performance out of helping it's like something an employee would do well I guess to get in a higher-ups good graces, but still it is cringey.

[Hopalong]

Thanks, G.
Laughing (or even a wan smile) is the best thing possible...
it's all human absurdity, bracketed by outside tragedy, so
I'm grateful to make anyone laugh. Any time.

And there is something a bit ridiculous about M and me both.
Old-fool rigidiculous.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

I'm still mulling, Hops.

And I'll have it figured out when I'm done filling these fabric pots.

Ahhh..... gardening. 

Like walking meditation. 

Lighter