Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
When it's SHAME
lighter:
I have similar issues with organization and clutter, Hops. I've just accepted that and it's OK. When I'm ready to work my through it, I'll have to ask for help and that's OK too. There are levels and layers to it... some of it's super complicated.
Last night I went through 6 bags of clothing from all 3 of our closets. It wasn't hard or difficult, it was just time. Honestly, there was pleasure in it, bc I wasn't wrapped around an axel over it, which is how I usually approach these things.
I'm sure I would have looked at those bags longer if I'd have judged myself or felt any shame. Anxiety would have mounted. I've had company and faced the possibility of being judged over the last week, but resisted going down that rabbit hole. What a relief.
I'm glad you figured it out. It makes a lot of sense.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Thanks, Lighter.
It must feel good to have been so productive.
Bravo!
hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
Hopsie, I think I've said this before but when I used to clean people's houses for a living I liked the untidy ones. My worst ones were the ones were I spent three hours dusting and hoovering a house that didn't need dusting or hoovering. Perhaps look at it this way - if you were tidying up and cleaning effortlessly then your lady wouldn't have a job! You're giving her a wage, which she will surely be appreciative of, particularly at the moment. Maybe look at the amount you're paying her and know that you're the reason she can buy food this week, or pay for electric, the petrol for the car, whatever it might be. It might help if you get a pang like that again the next time she's coming.
And re the ADD and the impact that has with regard to 'adulting' - I think maybe look at that like any other healthcare problem. It means there are things you can't do (or can't do easily). So in just the same way you might need glasses, or that thingy they put in your chest, or your therapy sessions - you might need a nice lady to come in and do your tidying for you so you can get on with everything else. It's a healthcare requirement. No different to healthy eating or taking your vitamins or getting your shots at the doctor :) xx
lighter:
So much... accomplished?
Well... my bed is half buried under things I still have to deal with AND there's to full baskets of bags of clothing I need to drop off at Goodwill after mentally wresting with dropping them off to people I know or not, who might use some of the things, or not.
For reasons around zero drama policy and simplifying my life....I choose Goodwill, and it's OK I haven't finished to task, bc I feel good about it and am moving in the right direction. I don't think I could have felt that way about it, at this stage of the task, last year.
My room is actually lined with mostly clothing I need to deal with...and some bedding. It's all good stuff. It all needs dealt with.
It's OK.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Idea that comes via Hol and her thrifting friends:
They get together a couple times a year to bring those donation bags of things they haven't worn in years, that don't fit or whatever... and have a casual party exchanging clothes. Social interaction/wardrobe updates.
Glad we could help you not get stuck in that Hops. One of the things that I'm finding with the combo of uproar (with Hol prepping to move out) and my current physical lethargy (thanks heat)... is that even though Hol invited some homesteading type friends to visit - and show off the hut & what we're doing here - and I KNOW there is a layer of dust, dust bunnies, and tracked in dirt from dog paws & shoes - is I'm not at ALL concerned about my housekeeping habits right now. Daily, I police the kitchen; and check the bathrooms weekly... and beyond that - there are stacks of things I want to put somewhere else... building materials for various projects... Hol's accumulated furnishings & housewares & art for the hut piled up everywhere including the guest room... and I just don't care right now.
I know; this isn't like me at all. I just don't consider it a priority. I'm doing a ton of inner work right now; and had to stop myself (again) from over-thinking the whole A&B situation based on me accepting what my real feelings are right now (impatient for him to just BE here). The physical discomfort from the heat is EXHAUSTING to me. I try not to complain about it all day long - but that's the fact of the matter. Even Buck can work in this heat, while I simply can't.
I suspect that the uncertainty of our times, waiting for the next outrageous event in the country... and the virus numbers to level off & go back down, the election, and Buck moving... are all part of that exhaustion. It was good to talk to Hol's friends about their work/projects in the homesteading realm... but that interaction was ALSO exhausting even though it was pleasant and useful.
I think maybe we can expect each of us to have these kinds of things pop up as the current jumble of life drags on without any resolution. IMO, it just means it's time to take a cocoon timeout until we're revived again.
Hugs kiddo. Make some nice tabouli - bulger, onion & garlic, cucumber, tomato, and black olives in a basalmic vingaigrette... cool meal, filling, and tasty.
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