Merry Chrstimas all!
Our family received cards form my Nparents this week. They send money for Christmas each year. We were not sure if we would hear from them this year. But like clockwork, Nmom sent out cards to each of us. But since we do not speak anymore, I guess she wanted to know that they arrived so for the first time she sent them certified so we had to sign for them.
The card to hubby and I was just a generic card with love mom and dad and a small check. The card to each of my kids was age inappropriate - too young for my younger two and too old for my oldest. She sent them each a check wrapped in a note with her address stamped to the note paper. In each note she wrote something about not seeing them for so long - all she wated for Christmas was to see them, and a long bout about how old she is getting.
It was as though she knows I don't listen or care anymore about her whining so she now has to pass this guilt, shame, whining on to my kids. She comes very close (reading between the lines since I know her so well) to accusing them for her unhappiness. When she called in the past her voice always sounded like she was dying. When she wrote letters she always sounded so sad. She now passes these expressions to my kids.
It's amazing though because a year ago - before I knew about Nsism and had read so much, I would have thought she was reaching insanity. Now, reading these notes, I just see how N she is.
It will be interesting to see if anyone from my family even calls this year. They have ignored us now for almost a year = siblings and their families that is. We did not send anything to Nparents or rest of the family - no cards - no kids pictures - no gifts.
Gift giving to me is showing someone you care. I do not care about the lot of them anymore - so I decided to not be hypocritical. It's making my holidays much merrier!
