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2022 Frozen Tundra Farm Report

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lighter:
I hear you, Amber.  Hol's distress comes out all over the place,. but it seems to me it's just symptoms she's stressing over.

You steady her and she goes on the way she goes.....

Hol can hang on to the edge longer,. bc she strong and bc you're steadying her grip.

At some point, dropping off the edge..... maybe being allowed to drop off the edge to really FEEL whatever the root cause is leads to healing and growth and emotional freedom.

One of my girls is really going through some tough times and it was coming out of sideways and all over the place...mostly aimed at me, but it wasn't about me.  It's about her and she was just unsing me as a distraction..... there was some drama, btw.

But the hard nut of her original trauma was something she was holding on to with perseverence and great strength.   She's recently relented and somthing cracked and it poured out with immense relief and it was so so so hard to get there. 

Part of getting there was my dealing with her distress better.... just letting it be....not propping her up...... not allowing her to make it about me or anything else, really.  Just redireting her back to herself withi compassion and making it clear she was going to be the one to fix her stuff.

Hopalong:
I think both of you mothers have done an extraordinary job of learning not to fix it, with your Ds. All the more remarkable because they live with you as adults.

It's impressive. When they do fully settle into autonomy, they're going to be stronger dealing with their stuff. That's for sure. Or will find other people to trust and to help. I admire you both for being able to witness when asked without joining. Huge.

What a gift.

hugs,
Hops

lighter:
(((Hops)))

Hopalong:
Amber, was B exposed to toxins during his service?
Doesn't sound as though his line of work would've done that.

But I was hoping that some provisions/improvements in the burn pits legislation would somehow trickle to all injured vets, and thought of all B's been through. Haven't read the fine print.

So happy y'all are together on the mountain. And envious of your cooler temp (I think?) and all the nature that surrounds you.

Enjoyyyyyyy...

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Very likely Hops. He was a diver and has assisted in all kinds of underwater salvage & rescues for local law enforcement and after storms; mechanical work too - even on heavy equipment.

But when you sign up with the military, they assume absoutely NADA responsibiity for any physical issues you might encounter or incur along the way. In reality. It's only because of laws, that the VA even pretends to help... and their execution oftentimes is less than professional. Especially considering how long (or repeatedly) these soldiers were facing inhuman trauma and life/death situations. So, there's psychological wear & tear to consider also. Thus, it's always been, throughout history - when they weren't killed directly in battle.

I don't have any realistic hope that any funding will actually benefit actual vets healthcare; it'll disappear into the admin/bureaucracy never to be seen again -- so that they can ask for the same budget the next year, in the standard "use it or lose it" scenario that exists all thru government agencies. And the only result will be more hoops to jump thru to obtain care & constant monitoring for vets.

That said, he's experienced this for so long it's normalized for him. He knows how it works, and is a stickler for following the rules. The new doc and this organization are a major improvement. This is "new"; takes some getting used to for him. It's so easy to expect the same negative care & results. Those old neural pathways ya know? Expectations delivering results.

It's been a month. Incision has healed up well in that time - and he HAS been able to work with the level of pain relief he's getting now, which is microscopic almost. It's enough for the affected nerves. Only issue keeping him from going back to finish the purge & packing is a slight infection; that was treated immediately and competently. B's mind does worry over that alot given prior experience. I do what I can to help him sort out fear of repetition from actual fact.

Overall it's going well Hops. Just putting one foot in front of the other and figuring things out; brainstorming ideas, and just playing around.  :D

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