Well, Happy New Year's Eve. I don't have anything spiritual or profound or clairvoyent to convince me that next year is going to be much different than this year (as far as the world outside the farm). Buck is bringing a BIG load this time so the back & forth nature of this relationship is almost over. He has an old marine buddy helping him load today; and some hotrod hand truck too.
He is so excited this time (he's only been gone 2 weeks) that he hasn't been sleeping again.
That makes the drive so much more difficult. It's 12-14 hrs one way, as it is. And that's without adding weather into the mix. I can't do that in one shot - and even Hol would see the sense in breaking it up. I can't make him sleep, he's a big boy and making his own choices - but he has promised to sleep tonight/tomorrow.
And I am having laughable dreams about Mike acting out in a jealous way. Of all things... it's silly. REALLY SILLY given the skillset Buck has kept "fresh" all these years. But I suppose that's just my way of acknowleding the importance of both relationships to me - and letting go of; processing out the lingering "guilt" and "disloyalty" reflexes.
My old old friend (from Jr. Hi) V, and I have been chatting back & forth a lot again. We've known each other more than 50 years. She hadn't heard about my mom dying and just last weekend - she passed on the news of my Aunt's passing. The last of that whole generation. Since I'm only a day's drive from her, she may come visit. She's supported herself, put her son thru college, and almost paid off her house by crafting/sewing primitive dolls. Now she's moved on to bigger accounts and storefront displays... and no; she's not an art school grad. We were in HS art classes together and both worked at the Hobby Shop... she has skills for sure! We are alike in a lot of ways - and different in some significant ones and the perspective of; reflection of all that between us over the years is really interesting. Her birthday is the week after mine - and we joke about being switched at birth in the hospital. LOL.
Holly's big party next Friday keeps getting bigger. I think we're gonna have to stack everyone who's staying overenight. Fortunately it's real casual and potluck. Everyone will bring something. She didn't want presents (still purging stuff to make room in her hut) so I gave her my stack yesterday. She loves the fake fur onesie and it fits perfectly. I think she'll probably live in it the rest of the winter. LOLOL. I'm contributing a baklava and I guess I need to make that no later than tomorrow. I've already chopped the nuts.
I'm finally getting some real SLOW days finally - even with all this exciting stuff swirling around me. She doesn't understand the attraction of days when one doesn't "do" anything other than just basic living stuff: laundry, dishes, cooking. But then, I don't consider any of that "doing". Stuff I look up/research online... also not "doing". Thinking about doing, maybe. But dayz like this are what lowers my residual anxiety levels, lets me unreel my imagination... and "see" things in a new light. I absolutely need these days. (NO, I'm not even planning...)
She and I are sharing the studio again on our own moccasin projects. We got them cut out yesterday. Mine, is a style I used to wear. Color is different than I designed - but now I'm getting new beading ideas; think I'm going to go for a thunderbird design. (Iteration of the pheonix) Hers are more elven/stormtrooper boots; taller upper - about Uggs classic boot height, and straps pockets etc are getting contemplated as she makes this first pair. (She has 3 lined & zippered leather tote bags going in her own studio at the moment.)
The ice has melted, resulting in MUD. Helga is solid mud from the driver's door back. Fenris, my jeep, hasn't been out as much. The ranger has caught a branch in the seam of the roof and I can't break it or pull it out yet. The ranger is my go-to vehicle unless it's an off the farm trip. Rudi is safely stashed in the studio garage - and I need to get his seat covers put on. Fenris is next for seat covers. I got a little rubber ducky with a tag on it on the windshield the other day at the grocery store. Sez: NICE JEEP... LOL. I guess it's a thing with jeep owners. Along with the jeep wave.
The little mundane events and interactions of a "slow" life are absolutely the best "side effect" from my decision to situate myself here in the steep woods. All the "big" ambitions, desires & thrills of younger ages are boring as crap to me... even though sometimes pursuit of those, result in interesting life stories. Nope; my biggest challenge is trying to master sourdough bread. Even a proofing box didn't help. All the perfect preparation in the world and the loaves would make better building material than a delivery system for butter & jam. But I WILL figure it out!! I know it's something I'm doing or the conditions of my environment.
Anyways, I hope next year brings y'all what you need/want most too! I am definitely NOT going to be conscious at midnight (snoring maybe)... and don't have a shred of curiosity (having satisfied it decades ago) about how others conduct themselves at NYE parties.
And B will be here Monday again.
