Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Farm Journal - 2025

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sKePTiKal:
So far, so good Hops. He has recently seen for himself how his emotional state impacts the level of pain, so that's a win in my book. I'd mentioned noticing it for awhile - which he wouldn't look at seriously. He already knows the basics about staying calm... so I'll just need to help him figure out ways to calmly state the facts (as he feels them) about how he personally, has been treated by the medical profession, VA, etc. Without being IN the emotion... tricky that; and not that I'm a black belt at it.

lighter:
Go, Amber and B!  This is a big milestone, for sure.

Regarding, Hol's patterns in relationships, if there are such things....does the term limerence make any sense?

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
20 years ago, it MIGHT have. But she's way more grounded than that - and pragmatic - these days. Plus she's always been more than a tad picky and had a high bar of standards for reciprocity. Hasn't always had the boundaries or ability to see maniipulative techniques... but I do think she's conquered that in the last decade. Enough so to protect herself.

Hopalong:
Back to B for a moment. Was just watching YouTube wonderful videos: journeys, life changes, homesteading stuff, you name it...and thought how good it could be to invite B to Tell That Story (the whole damn thing) on video. Yes, I'm fixing things that ain't broke...

As to Hol, I LOVE this description of how she is and considers relationships. Some kind of wise tiger woman must have raised her, even if in parallel.

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Yeah, no on the video. His friends and I have suggested this and the media to him in the past. A.) it jeopdardizes what little he can depend on right now and B.) no one will believe him - just accuse him of having a grudge, being paranoid & negative. I've finally got him on a "third path" and it's helping, in practical ways. Plus, rejection of his story is the main trigger that really DOES evoke feelings of paranoia, being singled out for SOME reason, and negativity - which then, spikes his pain. Mr. Big Strong Guy that can move mountains... has a very sensitive inner belly. LOL. Even though he has Rhino skin.

Hol has been, remains, and most likely will continue to be a "force of nature". I am the first to say, that she made her self - I didn't have much to do with that. Just was around as a resource. I'm finally seeing some softening around her edges, some slowing down and pacing herself. Not QUITE as driven to prove herself as she used to be. I think Cody and I might be able to team up to encourage her to write again. We'll see. It has to be surreptitious encouragement, because she'll immediately stand firm and say she's already "doing" enough. Just point out the door over there... as an option... if she so chooses.

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