I've just come back on to say I've deleted the previous thread. I'm sorry to say I found the way in which a lengthy post I'd made was largely ignored apart from one throwaway remark at the end referring to rethinking our situation which led to two, unfortunately, quite patronising posts about getting lifts from people.
I am so tired of not being heard, and it's worse when it happens here, because this is supposed to be about Voicelessness. I know that intentions were good, but would it really be so hard to stop and think for just a minute before posting. I have explained my situation with my son over and over again. I've explained repeatedly about the constant refusals for support for my son. The notion that our situation would be perfectly workable if he could get a lift somewhere every now and again is a real insult to the complexities of his disability, to our situation as a whole and to my level of intelligence. On what planet would I have sat here for the last three years and at no point thought to find out what's on offer locally? I am so tired of the constant attitude I get everywhere. My son's disabled, therefore I am too stupid to look up basic things and do some basic problem solving. I am also tired of people assuming I make the decisions. My son is miserable, there isn't enough to do, he hasn't met anyone he particularly wants to spend time with and he doesn't enjoy all the time we spend in the car, or seeing me struggling to drive when my back's bad or my hip's gone again. He is a human with the same needs, wants and desires as any other man his age, in exactly the same way that I am only 52, yet for the last twenty years I've been forced to live like a nun with no social life, no paid employment, no relationships and no money for anything other than essential spends and the very occasional treat. Why everyone I encounter thinks this is perfectly fine has always been a complete mystery to me.
I am very grateful for all the board has given me over the years but I won't be posting anymore. It's simply too exhausting to have to keep dealing with these situations, where my response can only be either a rant, ignoring the comments or having to write yet another lengthy explanation about a situation that I didn't raise in the first place.
I'd suggest to anyone who wants a taste of my life to commit to a year with no contact with anyone you know. Place yourself in complete isolation. Get up at 5am every day and spend your entire day either driving, sitting in your car, or at home alone. Pay yourself half of whatever your area's minimum wage is and live on that. Nothing else. Then remind yourself I've done this for 23 years now, and come back and tell me that not once in that 12 month period did you think to go online and see if there was any sort of viable alternative.
