Author Topic: Predatory grooming  (Read 668 times)

lighter

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Predatory grooming
« on: August 20, 2025, 06:20:59 PM »
A friend's divorcing niece had her husband removed from their home after GAL asked to have their 4yo evaluated for SA.

There was no physical evidence, but the child reported something to motivate the GAL to have police remove dad.

I'm wondering why this same charge isn't amused more with PDs manipulating children and turning them against the non PD parent.

Predatory grooming happens with regard to financial, sexual and is characterized as follows :

"The perpetrator's malicious intent and gradual escalation towards exploitative and harmful behavior."

For all I know, this removal is about the father attempting to alienate his DD from the divorcing mother.  I really hope that's what it is.

Lighter





Hopalong

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2025, 10:08:21 AM »
This is dense of me, but is "GAL" an acronym here or just "gal" like the opposite of "fella"?

Oh so many bells ring at this, and with my Nmom's damage, I know how it can spiral down generations. What bothers me so deeply about abusers/groomers is perceiving a mind that simply feels entitled to TAKE. As though a child or victim is a bonbon.

Maddening, saddening.

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Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2025, 10:41:46 AM »
Hops, GAL is Guardian Ad Litem....an attorney in place to represent the minor child's interests in Court.

I'm simply accepting generational PD damage today.  That's a switch, bc it's normally something my Nervous System refuses to accept......at all.

That so many people, esp Court officers, assume the best.....boggles my mind.  Maybe it's better than assuming the worst?  Hard to say.

I think..... remaining curious,
to see what's really there,
is the better way of being in the world. Zero assumptions better. 

Mitigating harm.....as a normal way of being, means we accept harm is an ongoing reality.

Lately, a Qanon friend, of 40 years, is sending terrible stories about brutal crimes committed by undocumented and minority people.....drawings of terrible, secret, society crimes against children.....drawing connections to D politicians and famous folks, while ignoring anything to do with anything else, if you get my meaning.

It takes my breath away ...how willfully ignorant he's been.....continues to be about trafficking, child abuse and DV.  Wearing blinders, but for everything popping up on his news feed, validating his Qanon world view.

It's terrible for my Nervous System.  I imagine him driven into a constant state of fight or flight, ignoring the suffering around him while focusing on blood drinking, child skin wearing elites, ruling the world.

Well....that was a rant.

Two ongoing legal cases, in my world, have me looking over my shoulder, at past lessons..... it's distracting, but I'm back pulling legal documents, in my head, figuring out shortcuts, etc.

Mitigating harm.... that's the ticket.

Lighter






Hopalong

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2025, 02:41:27 PM »
Friends can't be actual friends, when they're lost down conspiracy rabbit holes.
Blunt questions (forgive please): Why do you not distance yourself? Do you feel an obligation to stay in the orbit of toxic or misogynistic or dishonest people?

Where does the feeling of must-be-connected with them (relatives or not) come from? You CAN survive without such impressions. Proving yourself immune fails because *nobody* is immune to toxicity. The exposures wear down your peace, imo.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2025, 03:21:11 PM »
I asked this friend to explain his views, (so I could better understand where my normally sane, rational, tolerant longtime friend went.)

Everything he sends is from the Q, and Q adjacent sites.  Recently there's been a very dark turn.

Our 40 year friendship's been reduced to forwarding information back and forth, at this point.

Years ago, he referred us to the nutritional healthcare gal.  Really helpful.  He's a R who's open to nutritional and holistic healthcare..... that's who he used to be, all the time.  Open.

Before that, he introduced me to the term Narcissism, which brought me to this forum.

If I needed a kidney, he'd give me one, and through his Q delirium, which seems to be a fear driven state.....he remains gentle and hopeful I can, eventually, understand the terrifying world view he's entranced with.

Not a mysoginist, but there are Q narratives tickling parts of the man's brain, more about cabals and child predation.....selling baby parts, and vaccines creating turbo cancers.

He hopes I see the light.
I hope the same for him.
Under it the beliefs, we'll always be there for each other. 

Lighter


Hopalong

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2025, 05:43:30 PM »
I respect the loyalty, really do.

I just narrated to a new friend (English) how I came to cope with a dear friend's vote (she's kind, active in social justice, etc) for a person who is, for me, a horror. It was an internal battle..."I love you already, so am I going to let this new information about you destroy our friendship?" I decided NO.

So that I get. I'm sorry for my hair-trigger projection about such folks. It's hard to contain. Q etc is so delusional and sad and tragic (and hypnotic, evidently). I admire your patience, truly.

I hope he'll remain good for you and vice versa. I don't think I could manage it.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2025, 10:20:10 AM »
Right now my friend is focused on the "Holocaust scenario does not line up with critical examination of facts," and "there was no moon landing."  There's a blurb about Hitler being demonized, "to serve the central banking's agenda."

He's so far down the Qabbit hole. I only recognize him by his polite, impeccable pattern of speech.  He means exactly what he says ...he believes exactly what he's saying.

He must be having health problems.  I think isolation, pain and fear have to be involved.  He was suffering debilitating arthritis in feet and hands 20 years ago (why he saw the nutritional practitioner.) She got him lifting weights and playing basketball again.  He significantly changed his eating habits, but couldn't give up a few, very inflammatory things.  Red wine being one of them.  I suppose alcohol likely factors into this equation in several ways.

In any case, he doesn't believe Trump's a God, or very intelligent.  He also believes he was a draft dodger. I say "was" bc he believes Trump's been replaced with a body double, AND is an empty figurehead for the group taking down the child predator cabal......"heads will roll" in our government....many people are body doubles (Hillary Clinton, Trump, Biden, Colbert, who's in a prison somewhere specific.)  I forget what he said, but it's a theme.

Aliens and giants are involved. 
::Thunking forehead on keyboard::.

He was so rational, in his early years.  Never raised his voice, once, to anyone.  Tried to be a hero, 25 years ago, before my world fell apart, found out the justice system isn't what we're lead to believe.....I think that might be when the paranoia slipped in, full force.  He was right about that....began operating under the radar.....being secret. Staying in the shadows....offering advice, but not presence. Many of his expensive stored things were destroyed by my ASPDh in 2007.....friend didn't say a word.  Just stepped into the shadows, explained Narcissism.....and I believe that's the last time I actually saw him? 

He had some run ins with the government, over taxes owed on gains, quickly lost....devastating, along with a painful divorce.  He stood by his 10yo stepson.  Put him all through school....even though the marriage was brief.

The truth is .....had friend been around, during my legals, the PDs would have dragged him into the trials and presented him as a love interest, or some more terrible accusation.... which would have been more manufactured chaos..... gaslighting....throwing insane accusations against the wall. No facts required.  Zero evidence to base any nutter, made up theory, ime.  When you're spending all your time disproving baseless negatives, you're not in Kansas anymore, IME.  Friend understood this well.  Felt powerless and defeated, back then....I see that now. 

In any case, I remain curious.....and hopeful.

Right now this friend is sending Hitler info I haven't read.
It will be from Q and Q adjacent sites.  I learned not to expect anything else, so rarely read more than the headlines.

I've got to figure out how to stabilize and handle a shortish path/area at entrance to shed.  It's been a natural wooded area, always, so is mulchy, soft and unstable ground, if one can call it that. Terrible to walk on.

Any ideas, Amber?  I have large flagstones left over ....might be enough for this, but need to put down sand and gravel and....more mulch? Dig way down....to find solid ground?  It's so soft and so deep! 
Off to research, and figure out, how to use 3 trees worth of logs, still in my yard a year after Helene. MAYBE line a deep trench, fill it with sand and lay the stones?  I have no idea, but will soon!
Lighter

Lighter

sKePTiKal

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2025, 10:37:48 AM »
I'd say skip the mulch - it'll just compost into more soft soil. I'd dig/scrape that stuff off till you get to subsoil. Then add gravel, 3 - 4 inches, then 6 in sand, then put your flagstones on top. if you're moving lawn equipment in/out of shed make sure to make path wide enough. It's OK if the flagstones are sunk a little lower than surrounding soil, but either way, make sure the sides slope enough to drain water.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

sKePTiKal

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #8 on: August 23, 2025, 10:52:13 AM »
As for your Q friend, I see a lot of these people around my other forums. Mostly I ignore them - and the "alternate facts" they're so eager to share and completely believe in. From Hol, I hear some of the same kinds of stuff - with a more progressive slant. Hol pretty much confines her "pseudo-religious" beliefs to feminism vs patriarchy and the struggles of anti-capitalism as is present in corporatism and crony gov't.

They are all different kinds of people. Some are on the spectrum and have deep-dived the rabbitholes long enough to think they've found "treasure" or the "the truth". Some are simply looking for a surreptious way to blame some monolith for society's ills... or otherwise indulge in a bit of fatalistic learned helplessness.

It's not that I think I'm right - and they've gone off the deep end. It's that what used to be generally accepted as "True" is now questionable. And since none us know for sure - that kind of uncertainty freaks a lot of people out. They tend to think in absolute black & white terms, too; more than the rest of us who understand and have experienced more about "relativity" and know that seldom are things totally black or white, good or bad - 100%.

Only recently, has Hol claimed to not be right OR left inclined in her beliefs. And I'm sensing a trend that way across all generations. Maybe. Only time will tell if enough people find common ground with others they thought were "other", to start working together.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Meh

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2025, 12:24:01 AM »

Q Anon is one of the weirder aspects of our times. Never tried to even understand it but it's always seemed like a psychological operation from somewhere.

I went through my whole obsession with learning about cults for a while and then got off of that. Whatever the Q Anon thing is it does not seem like an organic cult that happened by accident. I don't know though. It seems like people intentionally misleading others. Sort of the accelerationist style theories in politics... make things worse faster to get a more drastic result sooner and then take control out of the chaos.

sKePTiKal

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Re: Predatory grooming
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2025, 08:19:42 AM »
Q stuff IS weird, Meh. I got curious when it started. It seemed like a puzzle, with tantalizing clues... that sucked people in. Then, I just found other things more interesting or important and forgot about it. But it's still going on.

I think it's more like the phenomenon of groupies or "fan adoration"; and I think there's some membership of a group aspect, that appeals to some people. Kinda like Sudoku people. It's a hobby; it's mostly harmless - except for unstable (already) people.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.