Play Hookey

[sKePTiKal]

We are very much allowed to rest and care for ourselves (however we define it!) after giving so much of our time, effort & caring to others. For whatever reason. Ya done "good" for other, Meh. That's some of the best of being human, IMO.

[Meh]

Random mention.

On a whim a book stood out to me next to a table I had sat down at. I was definitely NOT out to shop was only having some food. I went back "home" and looked for an audio version and I found one. Been out of the self-help phase for a long long while. This was actually pretty darn good and I have to try to listen to it again. It's very hard for me to find any privacy right now but I was able to finish this book today. It wasn't just generic statements there was some insight into anxiety that I had never really heard before. The start of the book does list A LOT of examples and that part can feel pointless but overall the book is good but my memory is kinda crap right now so I can't articulate If anything it helps with the having more meta-cognition.

"Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety: A CBT Guide for Moving Past Chronic Indecisiveness, Avoidance, and Catastrophic Thinking - Sally M. Winston PsyD (Author), Martin N. Seif PhD (Author), Linda Jones (Narrator), Tantor Media (Publisher)"

[Hopalong]

Sounds GOOD, really good.

Thanks, Meh. On my list.

hugs
Hops

[Meh]

Went out listened to some live music for hour and a half. Now have applied for four jobs on Indeed. It's logging on, adding a couple sentences to resume that is already there and then clicking some buttons. I applied for four jobs in the past couple hours. BUT I didn't even add a cover letter to these. How lazy. I'm feeling like maximum apathy. Am I being learned helpless? I'm down. AI said this down is "sadness of unmet needs." Sigh. Maybe.

I am destroying my life with procrastination and bad decisions. Would it kill me to upload a generic cover letter no it wouldn't. Can I correct them no I don't think I can. Is sleep going to fix this. No it's not.

Hot shower won't fix it and won't wake me up. Clearly the only thing that is going to fix it is for me to take responsibility for whatever this apathy is. I think it's based on frustration. Okay well that's nice.

Fine I am frustrated and I probably am wasting my time if I don't do it right. So I will start doing it correctly. Fine.

Fine I am apathetic and that feeling is not going to solve anything. It's not. It's useful information really emotions are useful but I can not put apathy in the driver's seat.

[Hopalong]

((((Meh)))),

It sounds like (clinical?) depression to me....
I empathize. Hope the cold hasn't made it worse.

I've been apathy mining too.
Too ashamed of the RHM (real house mess) to describe it, but I think it's glowering underneath it all.

Hang in there.

hugs
Hops