Anything again

[Hopalong]

I have diagnosed myself from time to time with analysis paralysis.

I know if I thought about the poetry process that much, I would stop writing.

I tell myself, just open the gate and create.

hugs
Hops

[Dirty Hippy]

Got up, took shower, made some eggs, went to church, talked to different person at church today about gardening. These felt like emotional stabilizing micro-wins. Talked to a lady doing watercolor at a cafe and she wanted to exchange phone numbers as she wanted to do co-crafting if we ever have time again. Seemed positive. Micro-wins.

Transitioned to looking up the DOL offices on maps to figure out how to get it done ASAP. I could sit all day I guess and bring a book but also I just need to get it done. But they don't open until Tuesday. The plan is in place-- I will try Tuesday or Friday. I have other things on Weds, Thursday. I will not go Sat it will be too busy.

Now for the next tasks.

[Dirty Hippy]

What are you sewing?

Yeah I did oils long ago - it does sometimes have a higher quality vibe. Was probably doing water color off and on as well at the time and likely also acrylics. I think I had ALL the paints when younger I was obsessed and if I got any little bit of money I would buy paint.

Eventually I ditched the oils and went to acrylic I think because I told myself big messy stinky oils were not going to work correctly in a space not dedicated to them.

Now I am back to portability.

Painting and drawing are two different art forms.

Anyhow. Backburner.

[Dirty Hippy]

https://vaknin-talks.com/transcripts/Social_Distancing_Isolation_with_the_Narcissist/

"Background noise simply means that you are there for the narcissist. You cater to his wishes and his demands, but you do so in a way that renders you a non-entity.

He asks you a question, you answer only that question. You don't initiate, you don't diverge. He demands something you provided. He doesn't talk to you, you don't talk to him. He never initiated.

You're there like some kind of white background noise. You respond fully. You don't disengage. You don't challenge. You don't disagree. You don't criticize. You don't provide advice. You don't volunteer. You don't initiate. You don't exist. You deny your own existence. You go into suspended animation. You become a non-entity, but a responsive non-entity, kind of a smartphone app if you wish."

https://vaknin-talks.com/transcripts/Social_Distancing_Isolation_with_the_Narcissist/
[/list]