Author Topic: Anything again  (Read 55140 times)

Dirty Hippy

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #165 on: June 17, 2026, 09:34:53 PM »

Abuse leaves a scar of bad things that happened.

Neglect leaves a void of good things that never happened.

Dirty Hippy

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #166 on: June 18, 2026, 07:33:58 PM »
focusless, rapid-fire complaint cycles are a specific psychological phenomenon known as co-rumination combined with narcissistic framing.

that conversation:

The Dopamine Hit of Outrage: Conversations like this are not meant to exchange information or solve problems. They are an emotional engine fueled by outrage. Complaining about generic "threats"—whether it is robo-dials, or poisonous snakes—triggers a spike of stress hormones and dopamine. It makes the speakers feel alive, urgent, and bonded through shared panic.

The "Trauma-Bonding" Loop: In dysfunctional family dynamics, intimacy is rarely built on vulnerability or genuine interest. Instead, it is built on a shared enemy or a shared catastrophe. When the focus shifts instantly from telemarketers to snakes, it proves the topic doesn't matter; only the high-voltage energy of the complaint matters.

Weaponized Incompetence & Sympathy Harvesting: By cycling through terms like "miserable," "befuddled," and "weak," the narcissist is setting up a baseline where they are immune to accountability. If they are perpetually the victim of the universe (and snakes, and weather), they never have to self-reflect or change.

They are just using words as a pinball machine to keep their emotional arousal high.

There is no main focus, logic, progression, and meaning in the conversation

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Well I can see it and hear it.

I can try to choose to do something else.

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Going for a walk to get outdoors. Will pack the sunblock and some water

Proud of myself for doing a few stretches lately and mindfulness breathing it's not a silver bullet but it's a tiny shift for my stress
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Be back later.

Dirty Hippy

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #167 on: June 18, 2026, 07:36:00 PM »

I am tired of thinking about deficits and problems.

I would like to think about good things that could happen. No guaranteed but could happen.

Dirty Hippy

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #168 on: Today at 03:26:33 PM »
Tomorrow I'm going to try to do a group walk in the city not as good as a hike but it's something. I don't know any of these people that's okay it's likely to be mostly women. It's a location I've never been to before so I guess I will just consider it exploration.

Yay me. Finding opportunities on occasion to go socialize.

Last night I went out listened to some music it was a mediocre band and I didn't talk to anybody just sat at the bar with a ten dollar beer I think I gotta stop that. Went to same location a while ago and they had some music that ended up being pretty good one never knows.

But if I am honest that is how I am at music places I rarely talk to anybody. Though sometimes I really do go for the music not for the social scene but clearly it IS a social scene even on the rare rare occasion that the music is stellar people are there mainly I think just to be public but why am I paying attention oh yeah because I'm really socially shy these types of places are not conducive for me to like talk with people but I think a walk with probably mostly women will be very different. Anywho.

I don't have a script about myself. What do I say "I'm a cardboard office worker cog?" --- This isn't self pity it's just well I guess I could just tell people about the hobbies I enjoy and I can just say I am trying to take better care of my health which is NOT a lie I have been doing sport stretching recently and really noticing how the age slowly creeps up.

I'm now really not into yoga for a few reasons. One big one is even if I do yoga at this point it's important to me that it's secular yoga because I am not into the woo woo vague cloud of whatever. Doesn't matter.

It's a little easier for me to stretch in my lower body and harder in the chest area I definitely think the ribs, heart, lungs are stress-tight and I don't want to assume anything. I don't want to assume it's any specific emotion thing but after doing some stretches I did notice a day afterwards for a brief moment like a weird wave of fear or panic well FEAR I think like came through my chest area and it passed -- and I do wonder if some stress is the body bracing against the emotional feeling of fear because that wave sort of made me think I don't feel that kind of wave of fear thing very much.

What am I saying here --- there are different kinds of stress there is vague stress where everything just slowly secretly tightens up or something and it doesn't FEEL like an emotion. --- Versus what I felt the other day where a wave of fear passed. And maybe I just need to kind of learn even this wave of fear thing it was okay that it passed came and went I don't know.

Anyhow. Whaver.
« Last Edit: Today at 03:38:12 PM by Dirty Hippy »

Dirty Hippy

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #169 on: Today at 03:33:10 PM »

-- But you know what okay writing that above has helped me in a general way sort of think about how I do - I must share things about myself with other people and I think listing hobbies is good because my hobbies are common female hobbies.


-- I like to hike
-- I like to do crafty stuff
-- I like to cook new recipes
-- explore music places
-- I like to garden  (haven't been so this last)

I feel like THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH. Topical stuff in meeting people for the first time I think is preferable.

So if people say anything like tell me about yourself I do feel like this list is fine. I'm sort of a boring person that is fine.

-- I will NOT complain about anything not even my shoe laces. NOTHING.
-- I will NOT vent or stress even if OTHER people do that.

-- I will be SIMPLE
-- I will try to enjoy and talk about the environment because I usually do like being outside.

That is good enough I did social prep.




Dirty Hippy

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #170 on: Today at 03:44:35 PM »
Okay actually what I was saying above without having the right words is this:

-- TONIC STRESS
-- EMOTIONAL RELEASE

Different things

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Honestly I am really not sure how emotional I should or shouldn't be. It's so much effort to become unfrozen. Oh well.

Generally these days I usually only feel some kind of mild sadness in my chest OR mild excitement looking forward to something like the walk tomorrow - having plans energizes me and I like that feeling of momentum and feeling of just real motivation. Looking forward to something is the feeling of motivation doesn't that almost make motivation an emotion in itself. ---
« Last Edit: Today at 03:46:35 PM by Dirty Hippy »

Dirty Hippy

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #171 on: Today at 03:50:47 PM »

Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions—classifies Anticipation as one of the eight primary, basic emotions, right alongside joy, sadness, anger, and fear.

Ah I see it there on the wheel anticipation.

Hum -- frankly it seems smart to try to cultivate anticipation.

I am actively procrastinating too and then is the opposite of positive anticipation.

Anywho.