Hi again October:
You are very welcome for my post. I am glad you found my suggestions helpful. That's what we're here to do.....support eachother and offer any helpful ideas we can think of, right?
Maybe even ...challenge eachother's ideas a little sometimes???
That seems to be my problem. At the worst moments, the really terrible times, I am left alone to cope. And I do cope, but I am left afterwards in pain, and still feeling alone in the whole world. Like there is nobody else who cares enough to see, and to come to me and give me a hug.
Sorry to keep quoting this part of your post but it just jumps out at me screaming.....help!!!!
At the worst moments in life, the really terrible times, I have been left alone to cope too, so in a way, I think I might understand somewhat how you might feel.
I've had those sort of feeling sorry for myself thoughts too......"I'm all alone in the world"...."I am left in pain"....."There is nobody else who cares"......etc...
Coping with crisis and/or trauma is hard stuff and takes a lot out of us, doesn't it? For me......I feel like a plant that's been without water for too long afterward. All droopy and wobbly and pale and weak and dried up.
There is no doctor or person on earth that can guarantee us that they will be there to give you or I a hug, the next time calamity hits. No one can do that because circumstances happen......people might be unavailable....timing is really off......all of that.
So........the good thing is......you do survive those times...you might feel like a zombie but you acted appropriately (in this last crisis you did....calling ambulance, getting daughter to safe place, going to hospital, calling fil, etc...). So....really.....you can get through the crisis and what you think you really need.....you can do without....because you've done it before and therefore...you can do it again. Right?
What I need after such a time.....is a big, cool, drink of water for my droopy plant. I have an idea that maybe you might need the same thing.
Support from others is like a nice drink of water to a plant, isn't it? Maybe it would be nice to have someone to stand with us throughout every difficult time in our lives, and I agree I would love it...if that could happen and if I could get lot's of hugs all through that period....but my thinking is......it isn't a realistic thing to want, it isn't going to happen. No one can always be there. That's just the way it is.
Afterward though.....I can get out there and get a good drink of water. So can you, October. Getting support from your friends, the minister you know, posting here, joining a new support group like Alanon, --to talk about what happened and your feelings etc......all of those things plus ..have a nice bubble bath, light a candle, put on some of your favorite music, go to the library and find a good book ...and whatever else it takes to help yourself replenish your plant......is available. But you and I must actively go get that drink of fresh, clean, cool water. We must hug ourselves.
In the end, we are not alone. There are people in the world who are interested and willing and do care to help us. We are in pain but there are things we can do to help ourselves out of that pain. It's just that we have to actively seek those things and it's hard when we're feeling so depleted.
So October....take sips, ok. Little sips, one day at a time and before you know it....you won't feel so dehydrated, if that's how it feels to you. I can only imagine because I'm not you. That's how I feel after such events and taking charge of my own rehydration is what helps me most. It's like hugging myself.
I hope you are having a better day already and things go much better for you from now on. Please remember to hug yourself too because you can always count on you being there when the going gets rough.
But here's another one from me to you anyway....((((((October))))))
GFN
