Generally...... divorcing with small children is difficult, even under the best of circumstances.
When the spouse cares only for himself/herself.... then it's up to the parent who cares about the children to protect them... and themselves, as a priority.
By that I mean, physically, emotionally and fiscally.
Talking to an attorney is wise.
Talking to several is better.
Socking some money away is appropriate.
Finding supporters is a good thing.
Find out what your rights are.
Women, who care for children are some of the most vulnerable people in divorce court..... right after the children.
The court doesn't care about anyone, they punish the Defendant and Plaintiff bc they don't want to deal with property disputes in divorce cases.
Find an ex District Attorney if you can and make it clear that this is no ordinary case.
They all assume everyone's lying and exaggerating.... women are generally dismissed out of hand.
Be prepared for a long battle and jaw dropping sneakiness, underhanded acts from the N...... even regarding the children.
Get a tape recorder and learn how to use it... with the phone and on your person. Remember that cellphones have to be held a distance away from the recording device or all you get is a heartstopping squeal, no good to anyone.
Document document document.
BTW..... no one has to go anywhere.... moving out that is... until the temporary hearing, usually heald between 30 and 45 days from the filing of the divorce action.
If there was any abuse in the relationship.... it needs to be listed on the complaint.
Think about what you want the visitation schedule to look like.
Do you think they'll be safe if N has them alone?
You'll be asked to list all your property, expenses and income.
Get paperwork together.
Make lists on computer and print them out so everyone can read them and you can go back and make changes.
Make sure N can't access your computer account.
You can create new ones, for free, and not share your password with anyone.
Good luck. Get advice. Don't let him move you off a solid plan of action. Don't take the pressure off him when he squeals. He just wants back you down so he can pounce.