A therapist once told me that people who are abusive will take something that is a value to you (like the desire to be a giving, self-less type of person) and turn it against you.
So because I value my own moral integrity (which is non negotiable), and my sanity (which I try very hard to maintain), my t abuser attacked me in these specific areas. That makes a
huge amount of sense.
So, what he actually meant was, that I am very sane, and of high moral integrity. And that he felt threatened by those things, because they exposed his own weaknesses, perhaps in those very areas.
My Nmum is the most selfish, self absorbed person I know. She calls my current illness 'attention seeking', and tells everyone to respond by ignoring it, and me, which they do.
Which means that she recognises that I do not court the limelight, and that I am self contained without anyone's approval, unlike herself. (Not true in actuality; I do need my friends, but not her, so that is what she sees!!)
Rather complimentary if we turn these round!! What fun!!
Thought of another one. A friend who called me thoughtless. I am one of the most thoughtful people I know. So it was his own problem he had identified (which is true) and he was threatened by my ability to consider others, and specifically himself.
Not sure I can sustain this. Very difficult to unravel the Alice in Wonderland world.
Last try. My brother told me to 'cut some slack' for a nuisance neighbour, after I established and maintained an appropriate boundary by complaining to the police about a loud, late night (4am) party.
So what he meant was that I am tolerant and understanding, not that I am not. And it is his own intolerance that he has a problem with. Which is true, he has anger issues.
Next time any of them accuse me of stuff like this, I am going to say, 'Thank you very much, that is a very kind thing to say.' Or perhaps not, but I will try to think it.
