Holiday Brag letters

[shixie]

I almost feel ashamed for bringing this up and maybe I should be.  Do any of you ever get one of those holiday print out letters that talk about the past year?  Some are very nice, informative and pleasant to read.  Every now and then, I come across one that sounds like one BIG brag letter.  Don't get me wrong, major accomplishments are worth telling about.  Why is it some rub me the wrong way?  Is it their writing technique or what?  One relative in particular will list one after another, each family member, like a resume for that top paying job.  In a small blurb briefly mention mother recouperating from a major disabling problem.  I tell myself, even though they are educators, that they must not realize how unbalanced and self absorbed it sounds.  I doubt that I will ever send such a letter for fear of it sounding like a brag letter.

[mum]

My mom and dad used to call those "brag" letters as well.  I learned that it was rude and self serving to put those things into Christmas cards, so I have a aversion to them. Shouldn't people be saying they are thinking of you at that time of year, not advertising various personal accomplishments?  I figure, if you don't know the person well enough for them to already know about the important things in your life/year, why the heck would you think they should hear about them like a company annual report?  
I have seen only one exception to this, though, and that's from friends of mine who moved to another country a few years ago.  The guy is such a funny writer, and they always send a collage of pictures of the kids, so it's very entertaining.  I really don't  talk to them all the time anymore, and the update is low key and not bragidoso.

[Anonymous]

Years back one of my relatives sent one of these *brag* letters and I found it to be very superficial.  It was so sickenly sweet that it made Leave It To Beaver look like the Manson Family.

I think her MIL said something to her about it b/c she never did do it again.

Very tacky especially during the holidays.

Mia

[Anonymous]

Whenever I receive one, I'm embarrassed for the sender. I find them laughable and I don't think that's the intention.

bunny

[mum]

I think it would be funny to send a brag letter that is sooo over the top, that the recipients would crack up, and look forward to it each year.  Although the sincere senders of those things would either be insulted, or simply not get it (did your husband REALLY win the Nobel price this year?)

I would never do this, however, because it's pretty selfish and takes the true focus off of the holidays and onto my "accomplishments" (ie; this elaborate joke).  Just a fantasy that probably only an N would go through with...

[Portia]

Heck, I’ve just realised this is what my mother sends to me, with birthday and Christmas cards. Instead of making it personal to me, she uses this as an excuse to send me photos of her and her pets, her on holiday etc – just like one of those letters, but without any effort. Interesting. Anyway:

With these brag newsletters, it’s the intention that counts isn’t it? If they personalise them, saying ‘for our dear friends x, x and x, here’s what the family have been doing and we’d all love to hear your news’ that would be good. Two-way communication is what matters, are they even interested in hearing from you? If so, that’s good. If not, bin the self-obsessed letters or use them for their proper purpose, in the smallest room!

Question: I still send Christmas cards to my uncles, adult cousins etc on mother’s side even though I never get any in return (hardly any contact at all really). I don’t particularly want to disappear from that family, but part of me thinks I should give up, they don’t want to know. Silly isn’t it? I still think blood-lines mean something and they don’t do they? Do you do this?

Shixie, why be ashamed for bringing this up? Your perception sounds spot-on about the ones you receive.

[Stormchild]

*** What follows is meant purely in fun. I have had marvelous friends who actually did live in trailer parks, and some of my relatives have pretty LurlaValeish names. Not making fun of them, or anyone else; just sending up the brag a little. If anyone's offended, PLEASE PM me and I'll remove this completely, on edit. On the other hand, feel free to plagiarize it and use - next season - in response to the bragmail you get. Love, Storm***

Christmas, 2004

Bide-a-Wee Mobile Home Park
Bubba's Elbow, West Dakota

Dear all,

Just got back from an exciting all-expenses paid jaunt to the 7-Eleven... the clerk was completely bowled over by my NASCAR-themed ski pajamas, or maybe it was my simply adorable rabbit slippers.

But, cruel fate, they didn't have any Night Train [a very rotgut wine, for you folks from overseas -- Ed.] so we had to make do with Thunderbird [ditto]. Still, when you're marinating that Christmas Spam, there's nothing like our original family recipe for flavor and texture sensation!

Well! My fourth ex's half-brother's niece just landed THE job of the year at BoBo's Bubble Palace...! All she has to do is be 'extra nice' to the customers, and ask them to buy her a drink. BoBo is even supplying the false eyelashes. We're all so proud of her.

LurlaVale had another alien abduction this year. She doesn't remember much except that these particular aliens had a small black and white ship, with red and blue flashing lights on the top of it, and white flashing lights on the front... and she ended up in something called the "tank" overnight with several other abductees. Would you believe they were all from Bubba's Elbow too!

And Uncle Rayon is starting his own business, now that he's out again. It's a car makeover company... they operate at night, and take the cars to different shops for their incredible transformations. Just amazing how fast he can get a VIN number off an engine block, they sure teach some incredible skills in our fine correctional system these days.

Well, dearies, I simply must run. The Spam is just about ready to pop into the microwave, and one mustn't let Thunderbird sit past its peak of flavor...  it does such strange things near propane heaters, doesn't it?

Ta ta for now, your ever loving

MaryBelleSusiePie

[Anonymous]

Stormy,
Good stuff.   It sounded awfully authentic though. Your initials aren't MBSP by any chance are they?

mudpup

[Stormchild]

I'll bite: M-something B-something State Penitentiary?

No... but I grew up in very very rough neighborhoods and paid a lot more attention than anyone ever thought I did.  

[mum]

Stormchild....can't imagine anyone being offended...its' great, I'm still laughing!  Thunderbird marinated spam........hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Stormy,

I'll bite: M-something B-something State Penitentiary?

Has it been a long day for you?

M-ary B-elle S-usie P-ie.

State Pen? What are you trying to tell us?  

mudpuppy

[Stormchild]

Oh foo on me  

I was thinking about what a sort of low class martha stewart wannabe would write in a brag letter... especially these days... so the state pen thing was the first thought that came to mind.

       

[sleepyhead]

A couple of months ago there was actually an article in The Guardian Weekend about these letters. Apparently the writer had been collecting these for years, getting the readers of the paper to send him the letters they received, and has now written abook about them. Some of the letters he mentioned in the article made my hair stand on end. How about 30-page letters of only bragging, alternatively only moaning? Sending these letters to people they had had no contact with for over 30 years, and didn't really know to begin with (lived next door to for six months, that kind of thing). I wish I could remember the name of the book and/or the author, but I'll try to dig it up. I know I really want this book, and I bet a few of you others would like to read it as well?

Stormchild: I loved your letter! I have been lucky enough to never receive one of these letters, my family is not very big on staying in touch (which is probably a good thing), but if I ever get one, I will send them yours as a reply!