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Jaded911:
Hope,
A friend of mine is a Psychiatrist.  He told me something in the line of a joke that actually describes exactly what you just stated.

To a Narcissistic person, what do they feel is a great Psychiatrist?  
~~Drum role Please!!~~
A great Psychiatrist to a Narcissistic person is one who FALLS FOR ALL OF THEIR CHIT!!!

He also went on to tell me that if they even agree to go to counseling, the first sign that their words are not being taken as the gospel truth, they walk right out the door.  Their relationships with their shrinks are identical to their relationships with their partners.  They just simply move on if they are not getting confirmation and supply.

cindy:
I think you don't even know how unhappy you are, because you are kept so busy fixing things.  My N also used confusion and he'd just wear me down, so to survive I'd do things his way, no matter how convoluted and energy consuming, to keep semi-peace.

I have my own children story.  My then 14 year old son, in trouble and with a drug problem, as the biggest reason I stayed with my N for the last two years.  My son made no bones about planning to stay with his dad, and his dad not only let the kid run wild, he gave him $$ he knew would be spent on drugs.  I simply could not reconcile myself with leaving the boy with the man.

But when we separated, after some early waffling my son stayed with me despite the moniker I aptly earned, "Narco Mom".  Kids are smart.  They do not feel secure and loved with liars they cannot depend on.

The visitation and custody issue, you may want to visit www.saveyourspirit.org, or www.stalkingvictims.com, where Mother of Two has gone thru it all, and we've shared resources about solutions.  Most of the stalkers who were exs are Ns.

Best of luck.  Those first, final steps are so hard.

hope2003:

--- Quote from: cindy ---I think you don't even know how unhappy you are, because you are kept so busy fixing things.  
--- End quote ---


you said it!

annabelle:
You guys are awesome.  I really am learning from your experiences and finding strength from all of you.  Thank you! :)

Annabelle

Jaded911:
Annabelle,

I will not lie to you and tell you that it has been an easy climb back up to the top, it was the longest, most suckish experience of my life.  

If my experience with my xN taught me anything it taught me to watch out for my best interest when my gut is telling me to listen.  Nobody cares more about you then you, I regret that I gave him the ability to conquer my spirit.  I felt emotionally raped after our breakup.  

I hope that I can look back on this one day as just a bad memory.  That day can not come soon enough for me.  I watched that movie today sleeping with the enemy.  That is what I have lived with for 2 yrs.  I just did not have the strength that she did to leave.  He finally after two years gave me something for a change.  He gave me my damn freedom.  Something he took without asking my permission.  Thank god he wasnt feeling I have him enough S, thank god he moved on.  He gave me a one way ticket to freedom.  I am gonna take it and run like hell as far away from him as I can get.  

You stay strong and the paybacks will be worth the wait.

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