we are dealing with the disintegration of our families.
Absolutely. And also with the sad realization that we never really had families. We had a group of people we spent most of our time with, held together by one or more narcissists' demands. Take away the narcissist, or the narcissist's power to dominate and intimidate, and the whole thing falls apart.
Not our fault, none of it. But we all have to cope with it, find ways to deal with it, God willing heal from it and grow. It's really encouraging to hear people making the choice to be aware, to face the pain, to protect their loved ones. Dethroned narcissists are predators and parasites, and they will fasten onto anyone who holds still for it.
Cindinj, I'm sorry for your loss. It looks as though most of us here can relate very directly and personally to you. When my father became terminally ill my mother's mask finally came off to the world (it had only been off to me before). She turned on him and did everything in her power to destroy a dying man. And the healthy people in the family ran from her like deer. [They weren't quite healthy enough, though. They kept trying to shame others into staying and being destroyed.]
Good luck as you move towards healing and understanding. Best of luck to your child, too. You have to know what you're dealing with in order to deal with it...
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