Most N comment everII

[jondo]

That first thread was getting pretty long.  

I just received a call from my N mom's sister who is equally N however lacks the rage and aggression of my mother.  Like my mom,  this aunt has been seeking to understand her problems (58yrs), by going to psychic's.  There has to be silver bullet to this problem that other people seem to have, with us - they think. None of my mom's children, including me, talk to her and live in fear of her half-way across the country.  In that regard, she defends her position and makes sure we know how good everything is in her life via a promotional campaign through my aunt who promotes her cause.

Her report today was this:

"Your mother has seen the best psychic and he's told her that she carries no more karmic debt - that she has paid and is free".  
Also that, all the psychic could see around her was the "glowing white light of truth and peace"

It's important to note here that she is a lifelong liar and denyer who has destroyed everybody around her.  She has never admitted anything.  Can you imagine, not having a relationship with any of your kids and still trying to "win" this debate?

[vunil]

"The best psychic"!  That's even better than someone's mother saying they went to "the best therapist in the country."


Well, with evidence like that I don't know how you could even argue.  Clearly your mother is of godlike proportions.


I've mentioned this before, but I keep being reminded of one of my mom's most galling comments-- right after I told her about a lot of terrible things in my childhood, including many she knew about and some she didn't but should have guessed, and trying to get her in general to talk about the horror show that was my upbringing, she told me that she "was perfectly happy in [her] life."  This is right after hearing about horrific things that happened to me on  her watch.  So I guess having children who feel utterly alienated doesn't figure into her happiness. Good to know.

And now we know that you can be terrible and have fantastic karma! Super.

[October]

all the psychic could see around her was the "glowing white light of truth and peace" ...

... which was escaping from her into the ether, in the knowlege that she had no use whatever for it.  

[shixie]

The psychic story is a good one, now I am really convinced they only tell you what you want to hear.

I remember when I left my ex, he was in such disbelief that I would leave such a perfect man that he wanted an explanation why I decided to leave.  I started rambling off issues and situations and the many awful things he did.  Then just as I was getting warmed up, he interupted me and said, "Stop, I don't want to hear anymore about what I did to you, what about what YOU did to me."  What he brought up about me, was lame and fabricated.  Then I realized, what was the point of even discussing anything with him.  He would never learn from his mistakes because HE didn't make any and refuses to hear about it.

[longtire]

all the psychic could see around her was the "glowing white light of truth and peace" ...

... which was escaping from her into the ether, in the knowlege that she had no use whatever for it.  

[OR]

Here is one for the medical books. My H has no responsibilty for the horrible things he says to me, its the damaged brain cells, fault now.



Quote:
Remember when Gary Busey was in the motercycle accident & they said his personality changed after his brain injury ?


When I had my MRI there are numerous places where my brain cells are dead.
I guess from MS or no blood flow
But when I say
Water under the bridge
No hard feelings
I mean it
Those brain cells are gone
Literally gone
As in “numerous white brain matter 7mm posterior, inferior frontal lobe
Small vessel ischemia processes, multiple sclerosis"
So I really mean it


I loved this one, this only works when someone else lies not him.
My H said:


Quote:
I feel when you lie to someone
You have no respect for them
If you have no respect
You can't love 'em
 


OR

[October]

A friend came to visit briefly yesterday, and brought an Easter egg for my daughter.  She told me that her ex is going blind, and that it is probably a curse, because of the way he has treated her.  Also, her youngest (4) is self harming (hitting himself hard around the face, banging his head on the ground or walls, calling himself names like evil and Satan   etc), but only when she is around.  He is fine with everyone else.  She has considered counselling for him, but fears that the counsellor could do him a lot of harm.  

No prizes for guessing she is N.  Through and through.  

Which made me realise how many of my closest 'friends' are Ns.  Very scarey.  Very sad about the child too.  

[Andrea]

Then just as I was getting warmed up, he interupted me and said, "Stop, I don't want to hear anymore about what I did to you, what about what YOU did to me."  What he brought up about me, was lame and fabricated.  quote]

Hey, I think I just broke up with this guy last week! When I reminded him of his err of ways he diminished them with "I did so much for you! Of all the girls I dated I did the most for you!"
Then he brought up crap I did last year. One instance. I got pissed at him for leaving me for his ex last year, kicked him out of my house and chucked a soup can at his head and told him to get out.
(He wasn't hurt in any way). I guess he was traumatized. I wonder if he still eats Campbell's soup??

I feel for you. It's amazing the crap they dredge up about your mistakes, and what they do is "nothing". Always blamesless, and never wrong. And I'm the type of person who has no trouble admitting I'm wrong. Boy, we were a bad couple. He's always right, I'm always wrong.

[OR]

Heres another great quote from my H. I was asking him to stop with the lies to his family, who he never would let me talk to, now I know why.
Say anything to keep from talking about the truth about himself.
Horrible lies about me would keep the focus off his behavior.



 

don't know what your talking about
look yesterday is gone
I've never said anything i haven't believed is true
so i won't say I'm sorry for what i believe

you & i know the truth

when people have a difference of opinion
the judge says"somewhere in the middle is the truth
It's never one person is totally right
so lets just move forward

OR

[Anonymous]

Heres another great quote from my H. I was asking him to stop with the lies to his family, who he never would let me talk to, now I know why.

Aha! This just struck me! My ex never wanted me to be talk to his sister, hang out "alone" with her, and was totally mad when she asked me to babysit once. It was almost like he was petrified we might talk about him when alone. And she's a very very open person and probably would have.

Hmmmm. And last week I spilled the beans about him to his SIL and now me and him are done for good. I made his fears come true I guess. I finally told on him and his behavior. And he's tellling them I'm a liar and made it all up. And they defend HIM. Just wait till he really hurts a girl some day physically. Then they'll know I didn't lie.

[Anonymous]

Heres another great quote from my H. I was asking him to stop with the lies to his family, who he never would let me talk to, now I know why.

Aha! This just struck me! My ex never wanted me to be talk to his sister, hang out "alone" with her, and was totally mad when she asked me to babysit once. It was almost like he was petrified we might talk about him when alone. And she's a very very open person and probably would have.

Hmmmm. And last week I spilled the beans about him to his SIL and now me and him are done for good. I made his fears come true I guess. I finally told on him and his behavior. And he's tellling them I'm a liar and made it all up. And they defend HIM. Just wait till he really hurts a girl some day physically. Then they'll know I didn't lie.

[delphine]

Geez, between my mom, bro and XH I've heard so many, it's hard to pick just one.... this does come to mind, from my mom, when she quit therapy:

" I am done with therapy becase everything about me has now been analysed and understood. Most people have some neurosis or minor problem but I am completely cured of everything, I am now perfect."\

After this proclamation, she went on to 6 more failed marriages but she told each guy that it was his fault since Dr X had told her that she is healthy in every way.

[vunil]

All of these posts of ex's listing all the things they "did for you" upon being finally confronted about their N behavior really reminds me of my parents.  It was a hilarious (in retrospect) exchange but I can't really make it short enough to be a quip. I can sort of quote from it, though.  It went something like this:

Me:  You put me in a situation in which I was sexually abused, often kicked me out of the house for no reason, tried to get me fired from a job, and  took money from me when I was very young.  Also, there was a little too much slapping for no reason.  So, I'm angry with you about my childhood.  Can we talk about it?
Them:  But we did a lot for you!  Let us list everything now in a 10-page e-mail (and never address any of the things you actually said).


It was pretty weird.  I guess in their mind there is some sort of a balance sheet?  And what do they think balances out the awful stuff they did?  It's almost like a count-- one ride to school equals one slap across the face.  Cancels it out.  I mean.....?   So weird. I don't get it.

Anyone have a clue what in the heck they are thinking when they say this stuff?

[catlover]

I'm afraid to post this because it came from my husband and I don't want to think he's N - but it did happen a LONG time ago, and he's gotten a lot better:

We were arguing about something, I thought it was a reasonable debate, and all of a sudden he lashes out nastily against my last statement with:  

"Well in MY world where the sky is blue and the grass is green...."  

Wow, is that ever INVALIDATING!!

[Anonymous]

my father after using my cycle to go to work on. it was stolen.
I said "but what about my bike"
"Well you weren't using it were you?" he replied.

or if he had drank any beers I had in the fridge. i repeatedly told him not too.
"I'll get you them back" he said with complete anger for me raising the subject.

I told my mother I was bankrupt.

"right, well I'll have to go off and worry about that now" she looked almost pleased she had something so good to worry about.