Today is the fateful day. Believe it or not I am excited but have also been very nervous. I keep looking at the positive. At the very least it will do no harm. But deep down in my heart, a place I have not reached for in recent memory, I am so looking forward to the therapy.
I have many goals and many issues but I think first and foremost I need to build up my self respect. My principles in life is to treat others with respect and consideration. I have come to realize perhaps I need to treat myself similarly. When we respect ourselves we cannot help but raise our self-esteem. And when we are considerate to ourselves we refrain from making hurtful statements which only brings us down.
I know this will take a long time to achieve but I look forward o the day when I can wake up and be happy to be alive. To look outside on a bright sunny day and actually appreciate the beauty around me. To feel good about myself and live life like I used to at one time. Sometimes we move so far away from healthy living that we forget what that felt like. I, myself, do get glimpses but they are so far a few that I cannot maintain the momentum of what I am reaching for.
Life is sweet and it is worth enjoying. I hope to stop looking at life as a bitter experience that I tolerate just to survive.
Anyways, I will try to post later today to just fill you in on how the first session went. You have all been very supportive and I do not think I could have made the step without you. I too, hope that others here experiencing the same problems will finally reach out to a therapist. Perhaps I can help others reach that point.
So, have a great day all, I will be talking to my therapist and hoping!
E C
