Phillip,
I just wanted to say: First, I am sorry for your loss.
Second, I appreciate your original post more than I can say. I have a tremendously tough time with my N-mother. Although I'd like to just cut her off, I can't. Not because I'm weak, but because I love her and feel somewhat sorry for her. Underneath all the b*s*, underneath all the manipulation, I still love her, and I do not want to spend a significant part of my adult life in denial of that. If I devote my energies to severing my relationship with her, doesn't she win anyway?
Third, I am so glad to hear someone else say that a therapist's affirmation made a big (maybe even crucial) difference in their lives. Not too long after I started therapy, I had been saying that I felt a little conflicted being about the whole process; I wasn't beaten, I wasn't tied to a radiator. "It couldn't have been that bad," I said to my therapist. "So why do I feel this way?" He looked at me for a long minute, then said quietly, in all seriousness, "It was that bad. You are a miracle for surviving at all." That made an enormous difference in my life, but I always felt a little strange about just how big the difference was. Until I read you post.
You must be a very special person, to be so life-affirming in the middle of a very painful time. God bless you.
Joyce
